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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that the bride's been cheeky here!

488 replies

whywhywhywhywhyyy · 15/04/2018 15:51

Alright, so there's a girl I met at uni who's now getting married. We're not close at all, but she's been very kind and invited me to her wedding. Evening only.

As the wedding is hours away, there's only one hotel close by with ridiculous rates, and I'd only be invited from 8:30pm anyway, I'm planning on not going. I went to go and click the 'sorry, can't make it' option on her RSPV website when I saw the ride share list on there.

I've been put down to drive (what appears to be) one of her elderly relatives from my hometown. Never offered this, have never met the elderly relative in question, haven't really spoken to the bride about the wedding at all Confused Messaged another friend who's been invited to evening early and is down on the list to rideshare with someone elderly, same thing with her!

I've never declined an invitation so fast. Not sure if I've been invited as a friend or because I've got a car and happen to be from the same place as her relative!

OP posts:
thatwomanwho · 17/04/2018 21:50

Love the uninviting of the friends wife from the day... now they're not up to anything maybe they can collect great aunt Bethel for the bride?

Would love to have known how getting her home would have gone, expected not to drink and drive her home? To coordinate hotels and check out times? To drop her off at her hotel and collect her the next day at a specified time? Amazing!

As for the friend and wife situ... My brother has had that a few times, he's been invited to weddings and his long term gf has not been invited at all/just to the evening. Both times he kicked off, accepted the invite and 'declined' food, saying he would be going out for lunch/dinner with his gf and would return after for the evening, but that he was annoyed someone so close to him had been left out (yep, thats whats important to the B&G, some girl they've never met being central to their invite list and worth another £150 dinner!). Every time it's resulted in a full day invite for the girlfriend. I was pretty horrified both times, proper CF behaviour! Family weddings too... in his shoes i would have accepted that the person wasn't invited (one of these weddings i wasn't even invited to and I'm their cousin! Didn't bother me at all, saved me deliberating an expensive trip to Ireland when i only see them twice a year).

Now my brother is getting married its a totally different story, bitter about inviting peoples partners, moaning about the expens, and annoyed the MIL is getting involved with who is invited; that should be down to just him and gf/fiancé apparently Hmm side-eye

FrozenMargarita17 · 17/04/2018 21:55

Wtf!! That's a thing?! What a cf!

browneyes77 · 17/04/2018 21:59

As for the friend and wife situ... My brother has had that a few times, he's been invited to weddings and his long term gf has not been invited at all/just to the evening.

My ‘ex’ best friend, who I was MOH for didn’t invite my partner to her wedding, but invited everyone else’s. I sat at the one of the bridesmaids tables at the meal afterwards surrounded by couples and was there on my jack jones.

KERALA1 · 17/04/2018 22:01

Flashback of being given a lift from airport to venue by two sets of my friends aunts and uncles, foreign wedding, me wedged in back between 2 aunts me in early pregnancy, mountain roads desperately trying not to vom. Happy days.

Wdigin2this · 17/04/2018 22:15

Wow, that is cheekyer than the cheekyest f**r in Cheekytown!

MsJolly · 17/04/2018 22:16
Shock
SciFiFan2015 · 17/04/2018 22:21

Could someone link me to the Sylvanian Families Gluezilla thread please? Mentioned in a PP. Thanks. I'm intrigued. This is CF stuff and I'm frantically trying to work out how it came to be

londonrach · 17/04/2018 22:28

Here comes the cfb. (Not placemarking at all)

givemesteel · 17/04/2018 22:30

Haha this has got to be the easiest way ever to piss off everyone you're closest to!

My own cheeky fucker lift story pairs into comparison... Last wedding I went to, dropped stuff off at hotel first and got talking to another couple, offered them a lift to wedding as they were going to take a taxi. They then latched on to me (the driver) like limpets the whole wedding pretending to be my friend, but obviously trying to secure a lift back... Then got quite shirty that I left the wedding before the end!

givemesteel · 17/04/2018 22:31

*pales into comparison

Wdigin2this · 17/04/2018 22:32

Come on O/P, there are people here waiting, all agog, for the next instalment!

Tiredtomybones · 17/04/2018 22:38

Yanbu to decline.

YimminiYoudar · 17/04/2018 22:39

Top quality CFery

puglife15 · 17/04/2018 23:05

Better than 'Stenders.

AvoidingDM · 17/04/2018 23:30

Who the heck does that assuming that guests can ferry other guests around?

I'm even more stunned at the idea of inviting half a couple to a wedding. Weddings are the most couply events going and I used to hate attending them as a singleton.

To the lady who mentioned filling her 7 seater at a funeral I can understand that.
In Scotland funerals tend to be arranged within a week of the death (I'm currently stunned at waiting 3 weeks for an English funeral). The family may not know who to expect / might / might not turn up. Friends of older people may not have cars and it's a bit unfair to expect them to pay for taxis. If I'm at a funeral I will always offer up spare seats in my car.

camelliasinensis · 17/04/2018 23:36

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1807864-to-say-no-to-this-request-from-a-friend?pg=2

The first Gluezilla thread, scifi.

thatwomanwho · 17/04/2018 23:54

@browneyes77 I guess put like that maybe he's not that cheeky. At the time I thought it was unreasonable as it was family weddings and not every cousins partners were invited. However I guess dropping three figures on a hotel room for yourself is dull af and most of the time we do want to enjoy special occasions with our loved ones.

In your situ can see why she's an ex-friend!

SleepingStandingUp · 18/04/2018 00:11

I don't see the issue with not inviting a partner you've never met assuming the person who us oh their own will be there with other friends. We just share a hotel room between two or if its partners for evening only we've hired a small courage etc and ask stayed together

Adwoa1 · 18/04/2018 00:29

Hello everyone,
I am new in the group. I just love reading all of your post. But can't workout some of the terms. Example what is AIBU. Could someone explain some of the abbreviations to me?Please

SleepingStandingUp · 18/04/2018 00:37

Am I Being Unreasonable
You Are Not Bring Unreasonable

AjasLipstick · 18/04/2018 01:24

I have a friend who is a singer and cabaret artist....huge charisma and charm, just the kind of person you want to MC your wedding.

So he gets asked by ALL of his mates "We'd love you to be our MC!" as though this is some kind of honour and gift.

He is always gobsmacked that people think he wants to work for free at their wedding. Nobody ever offers to pay him...though this is what he does for a living!

LegendOfTomorrow · 18/04/2018 01:24

@Adwoa1
AIBU - Am I Being Unreasonable
YADNBU - You Are Definitely Not Being Unreasonable
CF - Cheeky Fucker

ProfYaffle · 18/04/2018 05:59

www.mumsnet.com/info/acronyms

howthelightgetsin · 18/04/2018 07:21

sleeping oh I actually think is really rude. My DP has been invited to a few weddings without me (been together longer than the couple getting married, so I’m not talking just a plus one). My personal opinion is that if you aren’t bothered about the person enough to invite their partner, you shouldn’t be invited them to your wedding at all.

GreenTulips · 18/04/2018 07:49

I don't see the issue with not inviting a partner you've never met

She works with one lady - evening do invite. Her wife has been invited for the whole day. Which has been rescinded.

It's not a case of 'never met'