To say BF Mums shouldn't be getting fed if...

[daydrinker]

IF FF Mums aren't?

My local hospital always feeds the BF mums but leaves the FF ones. They have to sort themselves out.

I've been to the local hospital a good few times now with DS and always asked within an hour if I want food

If overnight stay, I'm fed 3 times a day with biscuits and tea in between. Formula feeding mums aren't offered anything.

AIBU to say this isn't fair?

My milk supply doesn't all of a sudden vanish if I'm hungry.

Bf mothers pressurised to ff,what utter tripe. Think you've got confused ,it's the other way round with bells on.

Depriving distressed mothers of food is utterly wrong. Any mother of a very sick baby or child should get food,end of.

I can't believe those arguing otherwise. There is no excuse. It's shameful.

Christ you do acknowledge that people have to fight to get Local Authorities to pay for many things? My point isn't what you may be entitled to, but in practice what LAs will actually pay for.

'99% of new mums do formula feeding' my arse.

www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/what-is-baby-friendly/breastfeeding-in-the-uk/breastfeeding-rates-in-the-uk/

Maybe in YOUR social circle, but not in mine, or that of many others......

Yes the UK Breastfeeding rates are lower than some other countries, but it's still around half on average! Only 1% breastfeed??? Crap.

@grandmaswagbag

I only met other b/f mums at breastfeeding cafe, all my existing friends ff.

So what? Doesn't mean you and these women are a representation of many others.....

I repeat, more new mothers breastfeed, than formula feed in MY social circle.

I obviously move in different social circles to some women on here.....

@toomanytealights

Bf mothers pressurised to ff, what utter tripe. Think you've got confused, it's the other way round with bells on.

Exactly. There is some bizarre crap being spouted on this thread!!!

Actually friends looked after two children in their family for 3 months after their mother had severe birth injuries because the LA and SS refused to give any help. You would have to really fight to get your kids in temporary foster care because your baby is ill in hospital, something you would not be in any fit state to fight for.

I'm going to stick what I said at the beginning- that I would feed all the mothers of patients up to 4. Or if they are definitely the ones staying, fathers or whoever else stays the night.

I would be careful to make sure this wasn't mucked about with by anyone just popping in for a free feed!

Why 4?

Why up to 4?

I’m confused. Are you talking about on children’s wards, where the kids are fed by the hospital if they are ff as they are the patient? And the kids that are bf obviously aren’t so the hospital are “topping up” their milk supply by feeding into the mothers feeding their own babies? I don’t see anything wrong with that considering we can’t afford to feed every parent - the fathers of the bf babies won’t be fed, just the mothers. What, do you expect all visitors to be fed?
Perhaps if the ff baby’s mother was insisting on feeding the baby a particular brand, like Hipp Organic and they hospital only supplied Cow & Hate, then the mother should supply that herself and then they could feed her as they won’t be paying for that particular patient’s food, but I don’t think this country can afford to feed every parent and definitely not every visitor. Just the patients or the patients’ food supply (as in the breasts feeding them!).

@maygirl27 we’re talking if the the child is hospitalised - not the mother. It’s not post birth. It’s if they’ve been kept in for health issues or have gone home and needed to come back.

@fanella no parent or family member wants to leave their loved one. Your not alone. My daughter has been hospitalised several times and I have never had an issue getting others to nip to the shop for me - and by others I just mean other parents on the ward. Whenever they went they always asked “do you want anything?”. I also am a realist - when my child is sleeping they are not going to miss me and ther for will be fine while I nip to the loo...or the shop.

As I said - I would far rather the NHS spend its money on caring for its patients than feeding visitors. Info fully understand how feeding a BF mother is in the benefit for he baby.

Dd43 and? Does that mean you’re superior and only your experience is valid? It’s long been known that middle class and older mothers are more likely to breastfeed, so I’m assuming you’re probably part of that demographic. There are parts of the country where it’s virtually unheard of. The rate is 1% at 6 months but that is exclusive b/f. Figures are skewed as most people have started weaning to solids by then but the fact remains that our rates are incredibly low compared to many other European countries.

I know lots of mums who have been pressured into ff. it’s nearly always from family who insist that if they give a bottle baby will sleep. Or comments about weight gain blabla. I also know a few women who tried b/f but were put under a lot of pressure that it was the wrong thing from their social circle where it’s very much the norm to ff.

I mean I literally said 99% of people I know and 99% of babies on tv and movies but yeh... And at 3 months only 17% are still breastfeeding exclusively so not about half at all.

I get that women who formula feed feel that it can't possibly be true that breastfeeding mothers are pressured to formula feed but it is. You can not win. I'm not saying all breastfeeding mothers are pressured but certainly a lot are.

I have spent time living on sandwiches and chocolate when with dying relatives. Not a great diet, but it takes you through.

4 is a bit of a random age, but I was just thinking at what age could you expect a child (when ill) to understand "stay in bed, don't worry, I'm just off to get a sandwich / coffee etc.". And I thought maybe 4 was about right as a younger child might cause issues for the nurses. Obviously youd tell the nurses you were going!

Actually I want to.row back on.what I said slightly about who gets the meal as I've just remembered thst when I was 4 (co-incidentally and not why I said 4!) I was in hospital and my Mum who was bfing my younger brother was there all.day and my Dad was there all.night, going in and out to work each day with a substantial commute. So I would think whichever of them was there qualified for the meal! I was just thinking of making sure it wasn't abused.

But that said, my Mum.was able to leave me to.go.and get food as I remember her doing it - going to get a drink from a vending machine- and me being old enough to wait with no problem. I've no idea if either of my parents were in fact fed on.the nhs.

But just developing the "when I was the child in hospital " theme (Sorry!) my Mum says she has no memor6 of where my middle brother was throughout this! She thinks he was with her parents or sisters who came to stay possibly in shifts but she can't remember it. Saying this to illustrate how traumatic.it.must have been to. have one child critically ill in hospital and a 2.month old bf baby , plus a middle child at home!

But they didn't ask the visiting family to cover the night shifts which is what my ex h would have considered reasonable!

So a child is admitted into hospital. You want there to be a policy to feed the mothers... What about the father's? The siblings? How about the visitors? Where do you draw the line?

And for those snotty comments towards me saying it's difficult to get up and walk around with a newborn latched onto my nipple, well it is! Especially when you only have one leg and your balance isn't great. Sorry I'm not going to risk falling over while nursing my baby to keep you happy.

I think there should be food available for all carers in hospitals at a reasonable cost on the ward. Maybe free for people who genuinely can't afford it although I'm not sure how you would organise that. A lot of parents can't leave their dc to go wandering round the hospital getting food. My then 9 year old was fine to be left watching a DVD while I went to the shop but my 4 year old has sn and there is no way I can leave him when he is in hospital.

I get that mums who are bf need food to keep their milk supply going but I think that giving bf mums free food delivered to their children's bedside and other mums having to leave their children to get anything is unfair. If hospitals want to promote breastfeeding it would be better to increase proper support in the postnatal period and allow mums who are breastfeeding babies in scbu/nicu to be near their babies 24/7.

I was unable to breastfeed one of my children and it was things like this that just felt like a kick when I was already down. It's all very well to promote breastfeeding, birth centres, whale music etc but it's also important to recognise that for some women that isn't possible, however much they want it. It would be nice to see a little bit of sensitivity.

The parent who is caring for the child. Just one person at any given time. I think I was clear about That!

Next best thing is that they are allowed to buy it of course, which would be fine for me as a ft working person but not so fine if you were very badly off.

When I am in with dd 9 (usually just a and e rather than the ward) now I just feel so sorry for the Mums of babies and toddlers having to look after them in the hospital environment. It's so easy with a 9yo (who isn't critical) because you can just go as you need to within reason and you can sleep even if they are currently not quite asleep themselves/ are reading etc.

When she was 1 yo it was so hard! And that was even with relatives, especially my Mum, coming down to help out with food, give me a couple of hours break etc. But not everyone has that. I remember having to do ALL the caring, save for the administration of medicines and doing the observations. The very understaffed nurses had no time to do anything more (with the patients, I realise that had paperwork etc too).

I’ve been in hospital with a baby I was bf when the baby was ill and another time with a very sick child and having to leave a bf baby at home. I was fed neither time although I was given a pump the time the baby was at home. I was very very thirsty and felt pretty awful by the time dh could come and bring anything in. It didn’t add much to the experience.

Oh God the bf thirst!

Report from my Mum is they didn't get given any food back in 1983.

It's discriminatory and shocking. A mother with a very ill child is just that regardless of her method of feeding

All mothers or dads sitting with young sick children should get food and drink or some sort.

blackteasplease there are children much older than 4 who couldn't be safely on their own and who are totally reliant on adults.

I'm not welded to the idea of 4! It was just an age that came to mind based on my now 4 yo being just about old enough to be told to stay in the bed and wait 10 mins.

If you mean children with sn of course I whole heartedly agree.

I'm not seeking to publish a fully reasoned manifesto here.

I think bf Mums.come first and food.for these Mums should never be taken away under any circs . But I also think it would be really really.good to extend it to.other parents caring.for.sick children in hospital.

But for completeness my now 4yo has never been in hospital except for

I wonder if a woman who was unable to breastfeed due to a disability could actually claim indirect disability discrimination based on this.