To say BF Mums shouldn't be getting fed if...

[daydrinker]

IF FF Mums aren't?

My local hospital always feeds the BF mums but leaves the FF ones. They have to sort themselves out.

I've been to the local hospital a good few times now with DS and always asked within an hour if I want food

If overnight stay, I'm fed 3 times a day with biscuits and tea in between. Formula feeding mums aren't offered anything.

AIBU to say this isn't fair?

My milk supply doesn't all of a sudden vanish if I'm hungry.

I have been in hospital with a dying relative and just had to grab whatever I could. Dying is not like the movies. She was incredibly distressed so it was tough.

I am a huge advocate of B/F babies, (if you're able,) but I think any policy that treats F/F moms as pariahs is dreadfully mean.

Some women F/F because they can't B/F and possibly already feel a bit shit, so they don't need to be made to feel worse.

For the record I B/F both my kids and had no problem popping off for a drink or a bite to eat. They weren't sucking my milk 24/7 FGS!

@buzzlightyearsbumchin

I wasn't able to when feeding my ill baby constantly. It would take about 30-40 minutes to walk to the shop.

Jesus, how far away is the hospital shop?! 2 bleeding MILES?

@SharronNeedles

Makes perfect sense to me.

Imagine if they took away the food for breastfeeding mothers like the title suggests?

No-one thinks we should take the food away from the B/F mothers. But I agree the title is poorly written. Should have read 'F/F mothers should be fed IN ADDITION to B/F mothers...

Its disgusting.

I have never been to a hospital that is not a cottage/rehab hospital for older people, that does not have a shop and usually canteen/cafe. A quick walk down and back should mean you will be away from your baby no longer than 20 minutes.
And agree that 30-40 minutes walk would be 2 -3 miles away, so not true.

And you can even take turns with other mothers so you only have to go once every 3 days say.

Breastfeeding uses up lots more calories than formula feeding.........

Hospitals have to support breastfeeding and not jeopardise that. For FF babies the hospital has to ensure that FF babies are fed. Their focus is what is best for the baby, that is all. If you choose not to eat for a week because you refuse to leave your FF baby for 20 minutes to get something to eat, then that is your choice, although a pretty daft one.

@crunchymint you really have no empathy, do you? I can assure you that when you have had to revive your own not breathing 4 week old and been rushed to hospital at 2am in your pyjamas where they are placed on a ventilator and nobody can tell you why they are dying, you really can’t just pop to the fucking canteen for 20 minutes. It is not a question of feeding the patient. It is a question of allowing some mothers to stay with their seriously ill babies and not others.

It’s frightening that on a parenting website, on a thread with contributions mostly (I assume) from mothers, that some people don’t appreciate that breastfeeding requires additional nutrition for the mother and formula feeding does not.

If your baby could die any moment, then surely someone else on the ward could get something from the shop for you?

Also parents with very seriously ill older children do not get fed. If your 15 year old is admitted and is seriously ill, you have to sort out food for yourself. As do relatives of adult patients.

@crunchymint strangely trotting round the ward asking strangers to nip to the shop and get you some quavers isn’t high on the list of priorities

Fine then don't eat.

And at 2am no one would have been eating anyway.

Does the paediatric ward provide the formula for the baby patient?

@fanellamaxwellspony there is always bread and butter for toast in the ward. You could ask your family to bring food, ask friends etc or just pop to the shop after you’ve used the loo.
Having had a child seriously ill myself I would far rather the NHS money was spent of caring for my child through equipment or nursing than feed me...a mother.

I think fanella is saying she would not have been going to the shop at 2am for food when her baby was brought in to hospital. Of course you would not have. I would not have expected my partner to do this when I was admitted by ambulance last to hospital. But some babies are in hospital for weeks. Mothers have to leave their babies for short amount of times just to go to the loo at least.

'If your baby could die any moment, then surely someone else on the ward could get something from the shop for you?'

Oh, god, are you one of those 'Surely you have someone who can . . . ' people who has NO clue of what it's like to be with your seriously ill child in hospital, particularly in ICU or HDU. First of all, you may be a long, long way from home because with increasing centralisation of healthcare services, it's quite common for the only option for your child to receive medical care is hours from your home.

So that means your chances of having friends and family and support network round you are slim indeed. And if you have other children or a partner who has to work, then you're on your tod.

It's difficult to find random strangers to go to the shop for you in such a setting because it's not conducive to socialising. Imagine that for a second. Just try to think outside the box.

It's expensive, too. Takeaways cost a lot of money, hospital shops if yours has one are expensive and have limited hours, so do canteens. Just at a time when you had to jack in work for your seriously ill child and are waiting your magic 3 months to claim DLA and get benefits, or you're on SMP, blah blah blah.

But hey, surely in the middle of all this you can magic up a person to 'nip to the shops' for you.

@crunchymint What a brilliant solution - how lucky we are to gain the benefit of your extraordinary wisdom. I can only hope you never know what it feels like to sit by your baby like that.

@Sarahrellyboo1987 I’m coeliac, so that’s not an option. DH and I were barely holding it together and we didn’t have any other family nearby at the time. I don’t think you’ve understood what I’m saying. I don’t expect the NHS to feed everyone. I’m simply saying that they should make food available to purchase on the ward.

I do know it is expensive to buy food in hospital. I have been there for long periods of time visiting. And no I said nothing about families helping. Because our parents are all very old, we are pretty much on our own as a family.

@crunchymint no, I didn’t just mean at 2am. When your child is that ill, you sit next to them physically willing them to take every single breath. It really isn’t as simplistic as you seem to think.

Was there nowhere to purchase food in the hospital?

I had this when DS was 5 weeks old on the paediatric ward. He was being tube fed so I could have technically left him with a nurse but he wouldn't be put down, constantly wanted to be on me. The nurses were insanely busy and I didn't want to leave him with one when he was crying and they were rushed off their feet. The other mums on the ward had their partners to go and get them food/take over if they were ff'ing. I was beyond exhausted and so stressed and worried on my own with him. A couple of the nurses were amazing and brought me breakfast and cups of tea when technically they shouldn't have. I was really grateful for their help.

Not without leaving my baby, no. I am not sure which part of this is so complex you don’t understand?

So do you also think parents of older kids should be fed by NHS? What about adult relatives visiting dying adults?