WTF is wrong with people?!

[itsallgravybaby]

Been out tonight for the first time in ages.
It was a friends birthday and we did a fancy dress pub crawl it was fun even though I'm nearly 30!

In between two pubs someone shouts "oh look it's X!" To the person walking next to me and praises him on his costume, then goes "oh look it's a fat cunt" about me.

I just don't get how people can be so cruel. I'm a size 18, and wasn't trying to be sexy or attract attention. Was literally walking down the fucking street. Totally ruined my night and I spent the next 15 mins crying in the pub toilets :(

Back home now feeling shite and so so upset, wtf is wrong with people, I didn't do anything :(

Sorry I don't have an AIBU I am just so humiliated I wanted to get it out there :(

Agree, WTAF is wrong with people!? Sorry it ruined your night OP Easier said than done to just ignore it, but try not to let it get you down

Some people are just plain nasty. They think they are funny. I am sorry.

It’s a shame we tend not to be quick enough with a reply at times like these. The old “I can lose weight but you will always be a rude bastard” would have been appropriate.

They were mean, probably drunk and thought they were being hilarious. Unless you really value their opinion, don't give them (or what they said) head space.

What wankers. Don't let the idiots ruin your night, karma will get them in the end!! And don't be humiliated you have nothing to be ashamed about! It's hard not to let a comment like that affect you but honestly people like that aren't worth your tears. Have a day of pampering tomorrow and do lots of things that make you feel good

You had a little cry; onwards and upwards.

They have to deal with being misogynistic, horrible, ugly-inside wankers for the rest of their lives. Really we should all pity them. Nobbers.

Thank you all- such wankers and so embarrassing when my friends are all there too and I have to pretend that it wasn't hurtful :(

A certain type of man does this for attention. Which is very weird. In theory, it's 'negging' - they prey on female insecurity to get into a relationship. That's creepy enough - but I think some men don't even have a plan, they just follow some sort of hard-wired algorithm.

Anyway, the upshot of that is that you really mustn't do the female thing of feeling this is your fault ('I'm overweight', 'I was trying too hard to look visible', 'I looked too happy and was enjoying myself') because, actually, you are doing the thing of taking the blame for crazy behaviour.

And it is crazy behaviour - the only reason it's not recognised as completely deranged is because it's quite widespread.

Tonight, practice not giving it any headspace at all. If you manage that, you have protected yourself a little bit against a lifetime of being vulnerable to people who prey on female psychological vulnerability.

By the way, I don;t know that you do have to pretend you're not upset.

I've been thinking a lot about this over the last week. I don't know why we pretend not to be hurt by hurtful things. I know that part of the reason is that we don't want to signal areas of potential vulnerability to potential predators but ... I'm not sure it works that way. I wonder if it lets people off the hook for the bad things they do, stops us from asking for help and support, and leaves us carrying the load for what should be someone else-s problem.

It is horrible isn't it? I remember someone leaning out of their car window on a crossing to MacDonals (Ironically) shouting ' Come on - get a move on you fat cunt' to me. I was floored that a stranger could be so rude, for no good reason.Even after twenty years, I remember every detail, what i was wearing, that i was in a desperately sad and unhappy phase of my live, lonely and just coping.

What goes around comes around. I so understand how upsetting it is.

People are so disgustingly inconsiderate and mean sometimes, what a vile man. You’re not the one with the problem, he is. Hope you had a good night otherwise! Don’t let him knock your confidence, luckily most people aren’t bastards like him.

Honestly, in this guy's head, he probably thought he'd hit on the perfect line to get some female attention. The film that was running in Man-Head probably continued with you turning round and replying with some jolly drollery, along the lines of: "Well, you don't look so good yourself, Pork-Boy." He would then respond with the devastatingly witty repartee of: "You wouldn't be complaining about the size of my cock."

Intrigued, you would give him your phone number, so that he could send you a pic of aforementioned dick.

And a marvellous time would then ensue.

Jane Austen for modern times, really.

There's honestly no point in you taking this to heart as a comment on your self0imagined failings. Something between pity and anger would be more appropriate.

Well, you don't look so good yourself, Pork-Boy.

CatfromJapan

has give a great comeback for storing up OP...and she's probably right. That man/knobhead has probably had a shite childhood and has a shite life so his perception of how to communicate is fucked up.

They want to ruin your night. That is why they do it.
Learn some snappy retorts and live well cuz that is the best revenge, but be prepared.

I'm so sorry that your night was spoiled.

We are surrounded by these male dominance displays to the point where people seem to think they are normal. They are not. The behavior creates a hostile environment for women every time we go out the door.

I completely agree with thebewilderness. It's widespread cultural negging. It marks space out as male, puts women on the backfoot and slightly off-balance, and destroys female confidence over time.

That is why 'negging' works - because most women will have had years of these experiences by the time they hit 25, or whatever. Totally grim.

The advantages for men - even the ones who don't do it - are huge and diverse: from women who learn to misjudge their boundaries of acceptable behaviour, to women putting up with less care and attention in relationships, to women being cautious about attracting attention in shared spaces, to women getting paid less for equal work.

It makes me so, so angry.

I had something happen once when I was part of a writing team at a well known television channel.

I mentioned a young woman who'd been featured on reality TV recently and spoke fondly of her and one of the male writers said SLAG. And shut me down.

I was so upset but couldn't articulate it. The male producer just sat there smiling inanely.

Fucking cockhead he was.

He's a twat - probably trying to get a laugh at someone else's expense - you should have told him 'what have you come as-a spare prick .... now fuck off'

CathfromJapan Hahahaha!

When in doubt, channel Fat

Oh you poor love, what an idiot he is. It's understandable you'd be upset over his nasty words. I hope he has the hangover from hell tomorrow and the worst case of the beer poops.

OP, hold your head high. He’s an utter arsewipe. What kind of person wants to verbally assault a stranger?

Please don’t let it be a reflection on you, as everyone has said, it’s a reflection on him. I guarantee NO-ONE near him will have been looking at you and thinking, yes he’s right, she is a fat cunt, they’ll have been looking at him and thinking ‘what a complete cock’.

(((Huge hugs to you)))

"Oh look It's a tiny-dicked ugly fuckwit!" is the correct response. Sorry you had the misfortune to come across one, OP.

If your friend knows the person, perhaps he/she could have a word.

Tell X their mate is a cunt and they should have fucking stuck up for you.

You don't have to pretend it is ok, you don't need to pretend you aren't hurt. What you need is better friends, coz if they are walking on pretending nothing happened then they are cunts too.