To ask if you could change just one decision you have made...

[LifePond]

What would it be?

Mine : In October 2005 I considered changing my mobile phone number but did not. I wish I did ....

The only one that springs to mind is that I wish that I had asked our wedding photographer to take a photo of the whole group of attendees. As it is, I only have photos of me and DH and the immediate family. It would be lovely to have a snapshot of everyone who was there, many of whom have since died.

I wish I had had parents who talked to me. Who discussed important things and not just made superficial small talk. I was always left to make my own decisions but now I look back and wished I had had someone to discuss things with.

I would have chosen a different career. But who knows whether different would be better.
I wouldn’t have settled for good enough.

In 2001, I had started a casual pub job before I started uni. On my second night my friend called me and asked if I wanted to go out. I sacked off the job and that was the night I met my toddler of an ex-husband. To this day I wish I had turned her down and gone to work

*tosser (blooming auto correct)

Although sometimes the way he behaved toddler is quite a good description!

There are too many to list! I always tell myself that I don't really know what any of them would have led to. For all I know, in the parallel universe where I made a different choice, I might be dead now.

I was going to say smoking, but then I realised that I met DH outside a club because I was having a fag and he was waiting for his mate.

So I would literally not change a thing.

I wish I had realised I was severely depressed and sought help rather than tried to cope by myself.

Vague, as outing. But I wouldn't have let him flatter me into bed when I was 18.

Taken different options at age 13/worked harder at school. I’ve been thinking about that more as DCs are around that age now. I should’ve listened to my dad.
A more recent one is buying our current house. It’s not awful, but I felt pressurised to move by dh and it has caused some resentment. I think he regrets it too but doesn’t fully admit it!

I regret-
-ever starting smoking.
-staying for 7 years with emotionally abusive and cheating boyfriend throughout uni and my 20’s.
-letting my weight get out of control.
-running away from huge debts when I was young and stupid, I am paying for it now.

I wish I had never given up a job with real prospects and the sponsored study that went with it, (in London) to work at a dead end job locally in an effort to "save" my first marriage (ex H used to moan that I was always out of the house, dinner was late, I know , I know, but this was the early 70's).
However , saying that , at the "local" job I worked with a girl who introduced me to a friend of hers and we have been firm and close friends ever since.
You have to look for the positives in every regret.

Picking up a Cocaine habit when I was a teenager. Really dark year of my life from age 19-20. I wouldn’t say I was addicted, but it certainly became a dangerous habit, probably a gram, three or four times a week, which resulted in me making several poor choices, burning lots of bridges with people that I miss to this day. I completely changed as a person, I was nasty, I was manipulative.

Thankfully, I was away at university and so it remains something my family no nothing about. My OH , who was my best friend at the time it happened, saw what was happening and basically bollocked me, and then helped me to kick the habit, which actually wasn’t too difficult. 10 years later I’m still certain I owe him my life.

*know

I wish I hadn’t felt pushed into being induced and just let my body do it’s job (Me and my twins weren’t in any danger). Led to all kinds of complications and a baby in ICU.

Also wish me and DP had taken a few more holidays before having DC. 3 weeks in the Maldives doesn’t seem so appealing with toddler twins. Bugger.

I wish I hadn't dropped out of uni. I've gone back to study but due to family and work responsibilities, I have to do it in stages. Stay in school, kids!

I don’t know if I would go back and change my decision.
My mum asked was I pregnant and I answered no, but I was 9 weeks pregnant with a casual date the first time we slept together . She would have supported me but I was scared, I traveled to England for a termination. 12 years later myself and casual date and 1 have been married 7 years , have 2 dc ( writing this from maternity ward) and a really lovely life.I always wonder what could have been. Is it a regret? , no but those posters for the repeal movement are bringing me back there constantly.

I advise my dc NOT to have any children of their own.

Can you imagine how hurtful that must be to hear?

My parents probably regretted having me and my brother a million times, but the way they speak about it all to us, you'd think their lives started only when we came along.

I tell my kids that having them is the best decision I ever made. Which it is, considering the millions of bad choices I've made in EVERY other area of my life so far!

I wish I had never started smoking.

Worked hard at school and gone on to do a midwifery degree

I wish I hadn’t been so materialistic when I was younger. So much money wasted.

And also getting into debt.

Suppose I wish I’d learnt to be better with money sooner.

I regret many things but wouldn't change them due to the potential knock-on effect so that leaves just this one:

In my late twenties, when I was at the end of a long term relationship. I had a succession of one nights stands/very short term flings that I had no intention of going anywhere. I hurt people unnecessarily (this wasn't the aim at all). I look back on that time with absolute shame. I didn't recognise it at the time but it was all about feeding my ego and filling some big hole I had with the distraction of it all.

I might regret not buying that London property, but I must remember that a) it would have taken 3 of us to club together to do so (we seriously considered it as did others), b) that many who did went through the negative equity thing and c) it would have used the cash I'd saved to go travelling.

This was in 1986, and we were very badly paid HCPs.

However, if there's one thing I don't regret it was those 2 years of travelling to Australia and back aged 24+.

The other thing wasn't my fault. I was sent to GS a year early, aged 10. Didn't do me any favours at A level but then, if it had, I'd be a Geography teacher now 😀

I would have been brave enough to stay single, not marry and listen to the inner voice.