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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you could change just one decision you have made...

199 replies

LifePond · 14/04/2018 22:57

What would it be?

Mine : In October 2005 I considered changing my mobile phone number but did not. I wish I did ....

OP posts:
namastayinbed · 15/04/2018 07:37

Career choices in my 20s, but that's with hindsight. I was foolish happy at the time.

N2986 · 15/04/2018 07:37

I would slap my 16 year old self who had zero confidence from bullies. I was actually really good looking Blush but never ever believed it. I constantly put myself down and believed no decent bloke would ever like me because I was so ugly Confused

I wish I'd chosen the degree I really wanted so i wouldn't have dropped out.

I wish I'd used my care free working days to save or buy a house. I've got one now but it would have been so much easier if I'd saved instead of buying clothes.

AliTheMinx · 15/04/2018 07:41

I wish I hadn't been groomed/raped when I was 18 and that I had had the guts to go to the police and seek help.
I wish I had taken up the offer to have a C-section to have prevented the life-long physical difficulties and PTSD I have suffered since by son's birth.
I wish I had the courage to move forward with my singing ambitions.
I wish I hadn't obliterated all of my savings on frivolous items in 20s!
I wish I'd have insisted on inviting more of my friends to my wedding as opposed to my mum inviting most of my parents' friends.
I wish I hadn't started taking the pill at University which completely altered my personality and made me paranoid and irrational.

tishhope · 15/04/2018 07:42

I wish I had left my Ex the first time I realised he was an arsehole, instead of saying 20 years with numerous episodes of his arsehole-ness.

tishhope · 15/04/2018 07:42

*staying, not saying

QueenOfMyWorld · 15/04/2018 07:49

Marrying my XH

Fraggledup · 15/04/2018 07:50

I wish I'd never told anyone about the grooming and sexual abuse I suffered. It's been used against me by more than one person.

I wish I'd kept it to myself and not had to listen to being told "you don't act like a sex abuse victim" or "why did you do it" or "why keep going back".

It totally destroyed my self esteem and confidence and I feel has been every bit as bad as the original abuse.

I also obviously wish I wasn't that weak, shy, desperate for attention 13/14 year old that my abuser saw and decided I was to be his victim.

niceupthedance · 15/04/2018 07:55

To not have started bunking off lessons because I didn't understand them and actually tried to get the teachers to take me seriously (they said I was lazy).
I was dyslexic of course, found out aged 40.

niceupthedance · 15/04/2018 07:55

To not have started bunking off lessons because I didn't understand them and actually tried to get the teachers to take me seriously (they said I was lazy).
I was dyslexic of course, found out aged 40.

Coastalcommand · 15/04/2018 08:20

To have realised I was gaining weight and eaten better.

lynmilne65 · 15/04/2018 08:24

Not joining the Wrens 50 plus years ago!

MummyCuddlesSolveEverything · 15/04/2018 08:34

I would have told someone about my dad being emotionally abusive to me and my sister, and physically and emotionally abusive to my mum. Perhaps is someone else had got involved or I'd called the police my mum would have left earlier rather than when me and my sister were in our early 20s. 4 lots of counselling and I'm still dealing with it, and we are still tip toeing round my dad. It's affected my confidence and my relationships with others.

There are a few other things I wonder about changing...but then I wouldn't have my Ds or my job.

Athrawes · 15/04/2018 08:48

Just had the confidence to not keep on hanging on with boyfriend A.
Told lover B I loved him, I wish I had just told him! Nothing would have turned out any different but I wish he had known. He was my soulmate.

heateallthebuns · 15/04/2018 08:55

I wouldn't because my choices have lead to the family I have now.

PeanutButterCheesecake · 15/04/2018 08:57

Wouldn't have got married to a regrettable prick.

Would have gone into teaching sooner instead of clinging to my comfort zone amongst a sea of bullying and incompetence.

nadinexxx · 15/04/2018 08:59

would've taken a job with a big financial company and moved to London even though at the time I didn't want to due to fiance and really bad anxiety.

BertieBotts · 15/04/2018 09:04

I think mine is wishing I'd stuck with college and gone to uni instead of being talked out of it as a waste by my ex. However, I might have failed anyway, the way I was going. If it had worked it would have had an enormous impact and totally changed my life.

So considering it might not, I wish I'd looked for another related job when made redundant during pregnancy instead of assuming it would be impossible or that I wanted to be a SAHM. I could have done much better that way and made something of myself then.

Pleasedontdrawonyoursister · 15/04/2018 09:06

Wish I never got with my first boyfriend, who I am still with now. We have 2 children, 1 on the way and I hate him. I’ll never be brave enough to leave though Sad

BertieBotts · 15/04/2018 09:06

I'm seeing themes here too:) tell your DC!

  • Don't smoke
  • go for the exciting job
  • cut contact with the bad boyfriend
  • Don't be too scared to contact the nice crush
  • be proactive about your health
mrbob · 15/04/2018 09:09

I wish I had properly sorted my brain out after the first dick of an emotionally unavailable boyfriend had made me feel awful (and the underlying father issues). Then I would have saved myself another 10 years of hideous men and really bad decisions and met someone nice. Instead of ending up fucking it up and being single forever. My life is pretty happy now but this is the only bad part of it :(

Bobbybobbins · 15/04/2018 09:15

I wish we had left a bigger age gap between our two DS who both have SEN. We didn't realise when I get pregnant again that DS1 has ASD.....

EeeSheWasThin · 15/04/2018 09:18

Retaken my Alevels so I could go to Uni
Stayed down south on my work secondment instead of returning for useless drunkard boyfriend
Marrying that boyfriend
Not divorcing him sooner

But all those things I did led to the happy life I’m in now...

hesterton · 15/04/2018 09:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 15/04/2018 09:20

I wish I'd just sat my GCSE's-decided I couldn't be arsed just prior to the exam period, what a stupid mistake that was as I was more than capable of passing them. Hmm

yoyo1234 · 15/04/2018 09:42

Wrong property and then briefly studying/working for wrong subject/area which I disagreed on at so many levels.