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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you could change just one decision you have made...

199 replies

LifePond · 14/04/2018 22:57

What would it be?

Mine : In October 2005 I considered changing my mobile phone number but did not. I wish I did ....

OP posts:
Iflyaway · 14/04/2018 23:28

I agree 4strikes.

Done some stupid things in my life but love it now at the age of 63...

and with a grown-up DS doing all the travel I ever wanted to do on my own - YEA!

It's so freeing to go through life knowing you don't "need" anyone to live the life you want.

thegreylady · 14/04/2018 23:35

Might wish I’d been a librarian instead of a teacher.
Regret telling mum about dad, it upset her for no good reason. In general I wish I’d been a better daughter and a better mother.
Regrets I have a few...

ManchesterGin · 14/04/2018 23:36

Gosh, lots of things I suppose but they are a chain.
When I split up with my boyfriend in 2005, I should have moved home and concentrated on my finals not sofa surfed and partied too much.
But my life wouldn’t be what it is now and I wouldn’t swap that.

BakedBeans47 · 14/04/2018 23:37

I wish I’d bought a wee flat when I got my first job instead of staying with my family another few years.

I wish I’d been able to go travelling when I was made redundant in 2001, circumstances at the time made it impossible though.

Ifonlyus · 14/04/2018 23:37

I was going to say not moved 200 miles to this town which I'm still unhappy in 10 years on but my DC have happy lives here which I wouldn't wish to change.

I'd have chosen a different masters instead of the one I did which was specifically for a profession which is dying out.

Original poster
LifePond · 14/04/2018 23:38

In September 2005 I gave my number to someone who later would almost kill me. In November 2005 someone (else) was harassing me via phone and I very nearly changed my number.

The person contacted me in April 2006 (if I had changed my number they had no other way of contacting me) and started a chain of events that there was probably never going back on.

I think my life would have been significantly different, I know I also could have died / a worse outcome could have occurred but I do ponder sometimes what if ...

OP posts:
WaitingForSunday17 · 14/04/2018 23:41

I wouldn't have had any dc so I guess that's two things I'd change.
I definitely wouldn't have the second dc knowing what I know now.
I advise my dc NOT to have any children of their own.

Carouselfish · 14/04/2018 23:41

Married a gorgeous helicopter pilot who I dumped because he was too keen.
Idiot.

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight · 14/04/2018 23:43

Smoking for me too. I only did it for two years as a student, never heavily and sometimes on and off, and that was a long time ago, but I still worry now and again about the health impact and roll my eyes at the money wasted.

Sometimes I wonder what would have been if I had studied something more vocational at university, with an obvious career path, but what I did was most commensurate with my abilities and I have a nice little career now, albeit after a few twists and turns.

user1483390742 · 14/04/2018 23:45

To wish i had only had 2 kids instead of 3! Confused

Adrianflank · 14/04/2018 23:45

Would of tried harder at school, now in a low paid dead end job, although my if I could choose my career path, it would be low paid but I would be a much happier person, I'm only young, so who knows

DrinkReprehensibly · 14/04/2018 23:51

Not listened to a doctor whose bad advice resulted in me getting permanent damage to my hearing in my right ear two years ago.

StellaWouldYouTakeMeHome · 14/04/2018 23:55

Not a decision as such but my life would be so much better without having to deal with my physical disability. I hate it but I guess now I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll always hate it, it’s not something I’ll ever be ok about.

buddahsitter · 14/04/2018 23:58

I wish that I had put a higher value on myself. I wish I had not been so grateful.

Ohwelljusttoday · 14/04/2018 23:59

Obviously have my beautiful children now, but I regret not leaving ex the first time he was abusive (pre children).
It did escalate and became worse when I was pregnant and vulnerable and later became a ‘game of control’ with him. 13 years on after we split, he barely has any interest in them and sees them for a ‘token’ once a year visit. Arsehole.

CollyWombles · 15/04/2018 00:00

It was out of my control but if I could change anything, it would be to have been brought up by my mum, or at the very least, have had her in my life while growing up. we reconnected when I was 12 but I often think my life would have gone very differently if I hadn't been brought up with my dad.

Flampingu · 15/04/2018 00:05

I wish I had insisted on being listened to by my GP when I was 21. Id still have had cancer but it could have been found when it was far less advanced. I’m fine now I’m so far as I don’t have cancer, but I’ve had ongoing health problems ever since.

allthegoodnameshadgone · 15/04/2018 00:10

All these stories. If we wrote a chapter each we would have a bestseller. Good and the bad. Real life from real people beats anything doesn't it for being amazed by people, and being like "fucking hell you go girl"

It gives you the ooomph to get on with it

mokapot · 15/04/2018 00:11

Maybe not leaving the ex....

sockappella · 15/04/2018 00:12

Becoming a teacher

Flampingu · 15/04/2018 00:12

Oh and the daily mail is a load of absolute shite

Downwiththatsortofthing252 · 15/04/2018 00:15

On my 30th birthday, I had a huge row with my boyfriend and he threatened to break up with me. I got scared, and we made up and stayed together.

I wish I had been stronger and let us break up; a month later I was pregnant and tied to my gobshite boyfriend forever. Yes I have wonderful DC from the relationship, but its hard, I'm now trying to get organised to leave him and become a single mum, so not the greatest situation.

I would've also become more established in my career/earned more money before getting pregnant, I shouldn't have listened to him when he said it'll all be ok. I was so worried
I might have fertility issues so that also pushed me into it.

ConciseandNice · 15/04/2018 00:19

I’d have stopped at one child, not five. Just one.
I’d have married his father and not been so immature.
I’d never have gone out with nearly any of the men I went out with. They were all awful.

Gingernaut · 15/04/2018 00:20

I wish I hadn't bought this dump of a house in a notoriously bad an up and coming area.

When I was offered less than £20k for it less than two years ago, I should have taken it.

The money this pit has sucked up with issue after issue is just soul destroying.

Housemum · 15/04/2018 00:22

Not much really as I love most of my life now and wouldn’t be where I am and with the family I have without mistakes along the way. I shouldn’t have listened to my mother’s Daily Mail/Express views so much as a child and repeated them (I want to erase from my memory some of the awfully naive but offensive things I must have said in my early years at middle school). And I should have ignored my mother and then-husband’s views about London and got a job/a flat there in the 80’s before the boom years (am in south east anyway but was put off London because of my mother’s indoctrination about riots/IRA/murders). Would be worth shedloads now! But I’d never have met now-DH.

Wish I’d been stricter about time limits on tech with the younger 2 kids. Can’t put the genie back in the bottle as they say. Eldest had no limits but then she is now 25 so her phone was just for calls and texts, and the painfully slow internet allowed a bit of Bebo and MSN, so didn’t really need rationing.

Wish I’d moved a little further out when bought our house - it’s big enough and is lovely, good area, but not quite right. With hindsight we went for a safe easy option rather than investigating properties with a bit more character.

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