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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you could change just one decision you have made...

199 replies

LifePond · 14/04/2018 22:57

What would it be?

Mine : In October 2005 I considered changing my mobile phone number but did not. I wish I did ....

OP posts:
allthegoodnameshadgone · 15/04/2018 01:30

Going to join the thread now about writing a letter to yourself in five years!

MakeItStopNeville · 15/04/2018 01:36

Not buying a house we were renting because we were nervous about how much work was involved. Because the house we ended up buying needed loads too (most unseen) and wasn't anywhere near as nice as the original house would have been.

PizzaPower · 15/04/2018 01:41

I sometimes wonder if I’d of gone back to my Oncologist sooner after been given the all clear from cancer the first time, we would have picked up it’s return.

Unfortunately it’s now terminal. I don’t think anything could have been done to avoid that outcome, but I do (like now) think what could I have done differently.

Sheezus · 15/04/2018 01:50

Don't give up your career.
I did.
Wrong decision.

Longdistance · 15/04/2018 01:51

I wish I never said yes to moving to Oz. I felt pressured into doing it by dh. It led me into leaving my job that I loved and that paid well.
I now have a job I like (I don’t love it like the one I gave up), but it doesn’t pay as well. I only earn half as much Sad 🍋

BookWitch · 15/04/2018 01:59

I wish I'd gone into nursing rather than teaching.

I wish I'd not taken such a long career break when I had my kids.

I wish I was more financially independent. I have 3 DDs aged 16 to 24, I tell them to never ever be financially dependent of a man however much they love them.

I'd also have gone back to see my dad earlier when I knew he was dying. I was there when he died, but it was too late to talk to him.

sobeyondthehills · 15/04/2018 02:02

I wish I could go back to 16 year old me and burnt myself with that ciggerette and told me not to be so stupid and it is not cool and not clever.

20 years on, I quit 5 years ago and still have cravings where I would rob an old person for theres

purpleorchidwhite · 15/04/2018 02:15

I wish I could have told my 13 year old self that it would be ok and not to believe the constant bullying.

I wish I could have told my 14 year old self not to have felt flattered and pressured by the older guy who just wanted sex.

I wish I had had more belief in my ability and stood up for my place in my marriage. I gave up my career and good earning prospects for my ExH.

All in all I just want to give the younger me a good talking to.

HolidayHelpPlease · 15/04/2018 02:22

I really wish I’d been more confident with men in my late teens. I was a really shy, ugly duckling teenager and by 18/19 scrubbed up well. I was so convinced no one would ever want me. I still struggle and get manipulated by men I’m dating now and all of my friends can see exactly how I’m being played a mile off - I wonder if I’d be settled and happy if I’d put myself out there more.

Thundercatshoooo · 15/04/2018 02:41

I always say you should never have regrets or wish you'd made a different decision as it can potentially change your entire life path.

BUT if I'm honest I wish I hadn't wasted so many years pursuing a PhD and trying to get into academia, I should have got a grad job and started working my way up straight out of uni. I look at my friends and see them all with great careers and I'm basically no further on than I was when a graduated a looooooong time ago.

I now have 2 small kids too and feel like I'm a bit of a failure career wise (I have no interest in working in academia!!). I realised a few years ago it wasn't what I wanted but put it to the back of my mind and had my kids etc. I'm now over 30 and feel like it's too late to start all over again and try to establish a career in a different area Sad.

fia101 · 15/04/2018 02:52

I wouldn't have done the type of work I do.

Would've asked for a pay rise every year (the amount I deserve)

Not agreed to move to this boring shithole

Vole3 · 15/04/2018 06:38

Carried on the exercise habit whilst at uni and had the time and energy, although I did walk everywhere I didn’t do anything else

Taken up the job offered whilst on holiday in NZ. I wouldn’t be where I now am in my career (2 PG Certs and 2 PG Dips later), but the lifestyle would be different

strongerthan · 15/04/2018 06:55

Ran when I had my gut instinct about ex.

Instead I strung it out in the hope it would change. It didn't.

Skippetydoodah · 15/04/2018 06:58

Almost bought a flat in East London intead of a house in a commuting town. 3 years later made 40k on the house whilst the flats had doubled in value. I'd have made 350k instead of 40. Still bugs me!!

Dancingmonkey87 · 15/04/2018 07:09

I would have listened to my instincts when it came to my ex, but I put it a side and didn’t listen. I ended up pregnant in an abusive relationship and gave up my nursing degree with only 6 months to go. Prior to him I had my full life ahead of me. I wish I had been more strict when it came to lads and just enjoyed being me rather than having a boyfriend.

HopefullyAnonymous · 15/04/2018 07:13

Not leaving my now DH the first time he cheated. Nine years in and many more incidents down the line I’m trapped in what appears to others to be a perfect marriage

grasspigeons · 15/04/2018 07:13

I think I should have done accountancy not law as i didnt stay in law and the career path I followed I got to management but could of got further with a better grasp of accounting.

MeanTangerine · 15/04/2018 07:16

I would not have become a teacher. Ruined my mental health. Late 30s now and starting again entry level in a new career.

Pinkandpurplehairedlady · 15/04/2018 07:26

I wish I’d gone into the refuge the DV team were pushing me into instead of trying to make my marriage work and not wanting to take the kids away from him. 6 years on and we’re divorced but he still controls me.

vampirethriller · 15/04/2018 07:28

Wouldn't do the interesting but useless degree I did.
Wouldn't have stayed quiet about the family friend who molested me repeatedly when I was a young teen- too late now, he's dead.
Wouldn't have left London. I can't afford to go back.

Rememory · 15/04/2018 07:30

I wish I'd worn those stupid NHS glasses that I was to ashamed to wear at secondary. I would have passed exams that I failed and given myself a bit of self confidence. I didn't have any street cred anyway so I should have just bloody worn them.

Rememory · 15/04/2018 07:30

*too. Pfft!

randomthoughts · 15/04/2018 07:30

Playing a random game of netball when I was 19 at university. I fell over early in the game and snapped my crutiate ligament (as well as knackering my cartilage). 20 years on I have continuing problems with my knee and did minimal exercise for a number of years which contributed to me gaining weight, putting more strain on my knee. I’m now a healthy weight and swim regularly, but worry about the weakness and tenderness, and obviously there may well be future issues such as arthritis.

Grobagsforever · 15/04/2018 07:31

Pushed DH to seek medical advice sooner, so he wouldn't have been diagnosed with terminal cancer at 35

Scribblegirl · 15/04/2018 07:36

I'd have held off buying our first flat in the summer of 2016 and waited until now, I reckon we could have got loads more for our money.

I'd also have been more careful with cash in my early 20s as I'm now having to pay down debt which could be going into my savings, despite having a good job and earning a decent wage.

Nothing earth shattering though. I'm very lucky, really.

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