Name changed for this. Sorry it's long.
Easter monday was the only 'festive' day of the holidays that I had with my two daughters (9 and 10) as they were with their dad for the rest of it and a large portion of the school holidays itself. As such we all wanted Easter Monday as our celebration day and just wanted to be on our own. BF was wanting to come over with his kids and join us for the day and stay overnight (nowhere for them to sleep but beside the point) I explained that it was the only day we had as a family over Easter weekend and was sorry but we'd see them all another time instead. Part of the reason for this is that my older kids don't really like his kids which makes it difficult for me. BF was upset saying we didn't want them there so I felt guilty and compromised on them coming over late afternoon for pizza and a film. No overnight stay.
Possibly good to point out: due to the way things work out with when we both have our kids, our respective kids don't see each other very often at all (about 5 times so far in 9 months) and they don't see my BF very often either.
On previous occasions their behaviour has been challenging so for this visit I insisted that there was no climbing or jumping on the furniture, bouncing on the furniture or climbing on the kitchen work surfaces. BF agreed to these house rules and said he would make sure they understood.
Anyway, my BF spent Easter Sunday morning with me and my little boy who is 2 (different dad) but then went to his parents with his kids (6 and 8) for the rest of the day once he'd picked them up from his ex mid-morning.
Fast forward to Easter Monday and they arrive, we give them their Easter eggs and we put on the film my kids thought would be the best for all the ages.
After about 5 minutes the youngest starts doing karate and kick boxing moves in the middle of the lounge blocking everyone's view of the tv. Her dad tells her to sit down and she ignores him. I ask her to sit down, she ignores me. My kids tell her they can't see the tv and to sit down and stop jumping around. Ignored. Meanwhile her brother has ants in his pants and is bouncing on his bum on the sofa and climbing around on it. BF tells his daughter if she doesn't sit down and watch the film they will be going home. She ignores him, carries on and he does nothing. In the end we give up watching the film and I order pizza.
Everyone sits at the table for dinner. Immediate sulking from the daughter as I've sat her and her brother either side of their dad. Last time they came and sat next to my youngest they were messing about so much at the table that he started choking on his food. It was really scary and not wanting a repeat of that I insisted that the seating arrangement was different. The daughter spent most of the meal curled up on her chair crying and refusing to eat. Dad did nothing apart from say her name in an "Oh Daisy (not her real name)" kind of placating way. I was getting annoyed by this point as her brother was all over the place at the table so my daughters were getting annoyed too especially as their film was already ruined and now dinner was too. My LB finished his dinner so in order to get "Daisy" to eat I moved him round to sit next to her and lo and behold she bounces up and eats some dinner!
As soon as dinner is over my BF announces they are leaving. He had left his Easter egg from me and the kids at mine so picked it up along with theirs. His was bigger than theirs (he told me only to get them a small one as in his opinion they didn't need to be any more hyper from loads of sugar). His daughter turns to me and demands to know why her dad has got a bigger egg than her and tells me it's not fair. Maybe I shouldn't have got him a bigger one but they only did that particular egg in one size. She was really rude and I was quite taken aback. I told her not to speak to me like that and my BF just said, "Daisy!" with a look of embarrassment. He apologised but she didn't. She did something similar on her birthday complaining about the cake her dad had asked me to make for her wasn't the kind she wanted and had I got her anything else it was it just the one present. However she's only 6, I'm her dad's first girlfriend since her parents split (BF says she loves me) and therefore I didn't say anything to him about it.
So off they went home and my daughters begged me not to invite them again!
Did I handle things badly? What could I have done differently to make things better and enjoyable? How can I get my BF to understand that we all find his kids' behaviour awful? Is it unreasonable to not want them to visit us again? ?!