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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Aibu to think Mumsnet has issues with black women

624 replies

Ghanagirl · 14/04/2018 11:51

Just that really, I’ve read really horrible comments about Meghan Markle, Alexandra Burke, Serena Williams talented and hardworking individuals who seem to offend some Mumsnetters simply by being beautiful and successful.
I’m not surprised as happens in RL but I guess it’s disappointing as Mumsnet touts itself as a more educated network than netmums

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 14/04/2018 16:23

@Palavra Amen. I have all but given up on the race debate on MN. I am mixed race and have just taken to rolling my eyes and moving on. The thing about racism in this age is that it no longer has to constitute an 'vitriolic' attack. It is insidious and for the main part consists of micro-aggressions like many of the examples you expound in your post.

Every so often on MN there'll be a thread about the joyous and wondrous dolls golly-wogs and posters will fall over themselves declaring how much they love golly-wogs and that their great great gran had loads and they cherish them as a keep sake because there isn't a jot of racism about it.

Another argument oft thrown into the ring is people being proud that their ancestors built this country - without any hint of irony. And the 'over-sensitivity' of those that point out sleights of discrimination, perceived or otherwise. I do think at times I have been very hyper-sensitive to it.

All that aside, I think the difficulty comes in criticising someone because of their 'art/celebrity' or criticising them because of their colour. I happen to think Alexandra Burke is a very lucky woman - mediocre talent and star prowess but has had a degree of success. Similarly to that young woman off goggle box that presented with Dec; not a shred of talent but more power to her - she has a lot of potential.
Rihanna, for example, is a different kettle of fish - she couldn't carry a tune in a wheelbarrow yet has amounted such success due to her dogged attitude, determination and looks - she's just the 'right' mix iyswim.

I suppose the point I am making is that there will be racists and insidious prejudice in all areas of life; online and offline. MN is not immune from that.

southernNights · 14/04/2018 16:31

No, it's men we hate.

Bastards!

Mightymucks · 14/04/2018 16:51

Oh, hmm, yeah and of course there are a handful of posters who only have the thinnest of veneers over a pretty obvious hatred of all white peoples which is completely tolerated mentioning no names but it’s bloody obvious.

Mumto2two · 14/04/2018 16:57

Ridiculous comment. Just because somebody has reservations regarding Ms Markle or Middleton or whoever...it is not because they are black, white or whatever. It's the people who draw those inferences that wind me up...looking for an 'ism' that simply isn't there.

TitaniasCloset · 14/04/2018 17:01

I just wonder if we would be having the same discussions if we lived in Japan or China even Saudi Arabia.

HeadingForSunshine · 14/04/2018 17:49

the wealthy elite in the uk got a free ride and a grant

Nothing discriminatory about that statement then? The wealthy have always contributed hugely via taxation. The minimum grant circa late 70s was about £250 I think.

OohMavis · 14/04/2018 17:56

I don't see this thread going anywhere good.

Nikephorus · 14/04/2018 17:57

I don't like MM because I think she's fake (I detest Kate Middleton too). I didn't mind AB until she did the whole 'poor me' weepy act on Strictly - I detest anyone who does that regardless of colour or sex. And Serena is fine - she's a good tennis player and that's as far as my opinion & knowledge of her go.
Don't look for racism when it doesn't exist because it reduces the reaction you'll get when it really does exist.

Amanduh · 14/04/2018 18:01

I hate Alexandra Burke and I don’t think she’s beautiful. Not because she is black. Because she’s pretentious and was vile when I met her. This can also apply to Amanda Holden and Olly Murs.
I like Meghan Markle.
It isn’t racist to dislike someone!

Mightymucks · 14/04/2018 18:05

I like Alexandra Burke. I think it must have been really hard for her doing what she did when her mother’s health was so poor. And so many people on the X Factor try and trade off a sob story like that and she never did.

Original poster
Ghanagirl · 14/04/2018 18:11

Bluntness 100
Your now throwing your toys out of the Pram because I disagree with you!
Report me to HQ but you feel free to disregard my feelings and make assumptions about me.
Your last post shows your true self!
Me Me Me!
I’m allowed to be racist and how dare a woman of colour challenge me despite having no experience of racism.
I’m not reporting your post because I think you’re entitled to your opinion even if it’s bigoted and not the same as mine.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ghanagirl · 14/04/2018 18:15

OohMavis
Yes I’ve realised that questioning racism particularly how it effects women of colour doesn’t end well.
Michelle Obama was called a “chimp in heels by a white women who worked in some public government post in the US...

OP posts:
RedDogsBeg · 14/04/2018 18:18

Joanna57 Your comment: I can't stand the sight of Michelle Obummer. Guess that makes me a racist. Oh well.

In my opinion it certainly makes you sound like a racist and a deeply unpleasant individual to boot.

Original poster
Ghanagirl · 14/04/2018 18:22

HeadingForSunshine
I posted that in the context of previous poster complaining about the fact that the white working class don’t have access to “ white privilege” my husband came to uk and studied at one of the top 3 unis in Uk and his parents paid cash whilst others didn’t contribute because they were born here, also being of carribean descendants my ancestors did contribute to building the UK through slavery and more recently being “invited” to work on the buses, underground and NHS!
So I’m allowed a voice

OP posts:
HeadingForSunshine · 14/04/2018 18:25

Well there's a fee regime for international students and they have to pay. Did then, do now. How much uk tax had your dh's parents paid?

MelanieSmooter · 14/04/2018 18:27

Williams and Burke are twats - their race isn’t relevant.
Katie Hopkins, Katie price, Theresa may are all also twats (for example).

I also think David Cameron, Simon Cowell and Bono are twats.

Am I still a racist woman hater? No. I’m just intolerant of twats. Grin

findingmyfeet12 · 14/04/2018 18:29

I'd be interested to know why Williams is a twat.

I'd like to know your reasons.

RedDogsBeg · 14/04/2018 18:35

No it is not racist to dislike someone you have met and been treated badly by, it is racist to hold them or their behaviour to a different standard and to make assumptions about them or their behaviour based on the colour of their skin.

HeadingForSunshine · 14/04/2018 18:35

And also my dh's ancestors were sent down the mine and feared the work house. My father arrived here as a refugee (jewish) as did my maternal grandfather (russian). They didn't have a choice. We know lots of dc at uni in the US. Guess what their parents pay.

I can't change the past and there's little point apologising to the dead. They aren't here to hear it. My father's parents and sibling died in a concentration camp. My father grieved but felt blessed to be here and looked on the bright side rather than focussing on anti-semitism. But that's different I suppose

Mightymucks · 14/04/2018 18:36

my husband came to uk and studied at one of the top 3 unis in Uk and his parents paid cash whilst others didn’t contribute because they were born here

Their parents contributed through the tax system while your husband’s family did not.

more recently being “invited” to work on the buses, underground and NHS!

Yes. Just as white British people can only move to Australia or the US if we have skills they need.

You seem to be very keen to blame anything and everything on racism even when there are clear and obvious reasons which show that is not the case.

Certcert · 14/04/2018 18:40

. Like glancing at a woman and smiling is deemed racist by some black women

Huh?Confused

0to3sadonions · 14/04/2018 18:51

Michelle Obama was called a “chimp in heels by a white women who worked in some public government post in the US

Unless that woman is a mumsnetter then I’m wondering why that’s relevant to your AIBU.

No one is denying that racism exists, but you made a generalisation in your OP which you haven’t backed up with any proof.

findingmyfeet12 · 14/04/2018 18:53

I agree that there's plenty of racism aimed at woc but I've not noticed any on mn to be honest. I guess it's difficult to give examples but it's also difficult for us to accept when we don't or can't see it ourselves. I have seen criticism of MM and none of it seemed to be racist to me (I'm not black but I'm not white either). She's disliked for being a non British actress more than anything else and for talking about humanitarian issues whilst enjoying the unearned privileges of being a royal.

I did see a thread today about a racist comment that people used to make about "running off with a black man". I have to admit that I was shocked at the number of mners who denied that it was a racist comment!

findingmyfeet12 · 14/04/2018 18:55

As for the pushy and aggressive issue. It's difficult because if a woc is pushy and/or aggressive, is this not to be mentioned?

Certcert · 14/04/2018 18:55

And I think threads like this don't help black women, to be honest.

She doesn't speak for ALL black women.

HTH