Aibu to resent my Dad's neediness

[pupchewsleg]

My Dad moved 150 miles to live near us 5 years ago. I wish he hadn't every single day.
He constantly wants me to do things for him. I feel he moved near us because he felt we would be more useful to him. It is not because of a close relationship as I have never been close to him. I feel bad for resenting his demands on me and my time.
Every interaction is about him. Typical conversation.
Me: DS1 has got a cold.
Dad: Oh, I still can't get rid of my cold...blah blahblah.
Most of the time I don't like him very much. Sometimes I feel sorry for him as he is lonely if we go away, but won't join groups, go to church ( he says he is a Christian) etc.
My Mum died 6 years ago and that is very sad for all of us. She put up with him for 40 years, but I don't want to. My heart sinks every time I see his no. on my phone.
He constantly wants help with stuff: changing his bed (can't do it apparently), visiting large shopping Centre (can't navigate on his own he says), looking at a spot on his back (I looked twice it's fine). I resent it all.
He is a healthy, relatively fit adult and I just wish he would have his own life.
He is a self obsessed, hypochondriac who isn't interested in having friends (I have never known him to have a friend). I don't like him very much, but feel bad about it. He hasn't any idea, but I do make excuses (children, work)to not see him too often.
Am I unreasonable to resent him? I can't see a way out, and he is only going to need me more and I don't want to.

If he's unable to do light housework eg changing his bed, and unable to go shopping, then I suggest asking your local council's social work department to assess him. They will be able to judge whether he genuinely needs help or not. If he does, there may be funding or council carers who can assist.

Don't discount early stage dementia. Among the first things to go are the ability to plan (eg meals, shopping trips, even shopping lists), and the ability to learn new things (eg navigate a new supermarket). I've seen this first hand with FIL and MIL.

When FIL could no longer drive we took them shopping on Saturdays; later this was to much for them (MIL becoming less mobile - nothing to do with dementia directly) and MIL would write out a shopping list for us. Then she stopped even doing that and we had to go to their house to make up a list then shop, and take it back to theirs. It gradually took up more and more of our time ....

OP has said he's perfectly capable of doing his own shopping and changing his bed. He doesn't need a carer.

Anyway, it doesn't look like OP's coming back now, so it's a moot point and you might as well save your breath.