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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Because I would rather be overdressed?

131 replies

Mamabear1475 · 11/04/2018 19:24

We are having our families photos done professionally this weekend. I have already picked out a dress to wear. But straight after the photos finish we are going to a friend's get together about 5 minutes away. According to dh I am going to look ridiculous because I will be dressed up and nobody else will be. AIBU to not give a shit? I was once massively underdressed for something and spent the entire night hiding in shame

OP posts:
WhataLovelyPear · 11/04/2018 21:44

It's a lovely dress Envy, and I think it will look fantastically retro and 50s if your DH and DS are wearing jeans. I also agree with pp who says chunky jumper over the dress for your friend's house.

minipie · 11/04/2018 21:44

Have you asked the photographer what would be best to wear?

We had a family shoot last year and they definitely wanted us in casual (albeit "best" casual I think!). They also said plain clothes came out better in photos than patterned.

Why not drop the photographer a line and ask their view...?

winterisstillcoming · 11/04/2018 22:24

Wear a biker jacket and rock it. It will be obvious that you've just come from somewhere else - you know like when you see wedding guests at a service station, and no one will bat an eyelid.

Jon66 · 11/04/2018 22:30

You can rock that look. My partner and I dressed in black tie and full length gown NYE when others wore jeans, and it felt good!

stayathomegardener · 11/04/2018 22:50

Wear the dress if you love it and definitely ensure the photographer gets an image of you twirling with DH and DS looking up at you.

Maybe a cardigan or jumper over later purely for warmth.

stayathomegardener · 11/04/2018 22:52

Hmmm actually DDis a photographer and definitely finds plain works better on images than patterns.

IAmWonkoTheSane · 11/04/2018 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeddaGarbled · 11/04/2018 23:21

If the photographer is any good, they'll take lots of different photos with different poses, including several where the jeans won't be in shot. Then you can choose the photos you like best. My SIL has a lovely one of her sitting with her two boys standing behind her with their arms round her shoulders and none of them shown below the waist.

But I think smart black jeans on a guy can look great, so I wouldn't pre-judge. Wait until you see the photos.

And back to your OP, this is only a problem in your H's head. This is one of the great things about growing up - being able to wear whatever you want and not worry about what other people think. Look back on your poor teenage self and celebrate that you are so much more confident in yourself now.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 11/04/2018 23:28

I don’t understand the sad face at the mn reactionsSad you did ask
You said you don’t give a shit?so in that case wear the dress, it’s v pretty
It’s your family photo.wear your fave dress. And I hope you have a lovely photo to cherish

Averyyounggrandmaofsix · 11/04/2018 23:35

I love the dress and would stick either a denim jacket or a biker jacket over it.

LeighaJ · 11/04/2018 23:36

Dress might look more casual if you wear a cardigan over it buttoned up.

Overdressing has never bothered me, my Grandmother always said that "If you're overdressed, then you'll never be underdressed for any occasion."

FASH84 · 12/04/2018 00:05

I really don't get why people dress up for posed pictures, natural candid shots are so much nicer, unless it's at a really special occasion, even then a mix of both is appropriate. It's a bit like the pictures of babies in baskets. I just don't get it.

flowerslemonade · 12/04/2018 00:21

OP that dress is really beautiful and I say that as someone who doesn't really like dresses at all.I hope you get to wear it and all goes well. Your husband should be proud going into somewhere with you looking nice, jst tell your friends where you've been, I'm sure they will understand?

beyondBeyondLivid · 12/04/2018 04:04

What do you mean by "I’m not alpha male enough" @PinkCalluna ?

Do all men need to compete to be the alpha?

afishnotabird · 12/04/2018 04:31

Where is the get together happening?

You'll know better than us if the boys outfits go with the dress because you've seen the actual clothes, so I wouldn't worry too much about that.

Put your socks back on after the photos, that will casual up the dress!

steff13 · 12/04/2018 04:32

It's always a good idea to speak with the photographer about what to wear in family photos.

thebewilderness · 12/04/2018 04:40

If you are comfy in the dress wear the dress.

greendale17 · 12/04/2018 04:49

I would rather be over dressed than under dressed

Uniglo18 · 12/04/2018 05:04

You're not going to look stupid next to your dh and son, quite the opposite. They will look stupid next to you and your dd, it'll be v obvious they they haven't made an effort whilst you have.

mathanxiety · 12/04/2018 05:14

The dress is lovely. If you wear black sandals with it you will match the black jeans a bit.

Your DH and DS are going to look a bit like waiters though - is this what they want in a photo and at a party? Do they own khakis at all? Even blue jeans? Jeans and white shirt is a nice combination.

Maybe wear a cardigan or denim jacket over it for the get together afterwards.

AbeautifulBeast · 12/04/2018 05:47

WEAR THE DRESSGrin
Your husband and son will look perfectly smart in jeans and a shirt, you certainly won't look out of place next to them!
Anyway they are your photos and you should wear what you like!

Sleephead1 · 12/04/2018 05:55

Have you spoken to the person doing the shoot op? I would speak with them and see what they think will look best. I do think it's dressy especially if you are wearing heels, full face of make up, hair done ECT. I think jeans and shirt will be nice for your husband and son but I'm sure the photographer will advice you. If you want to wear to party could you take some flats and a demin jacket ? if you are worried about being overdressed or you could take a change of clothes but if you feel happy and want to go and show all your friends your outfit then do it

daisychain01 · 12/04/2018 06:05

I'd take something smart casual to change into. Wearing a frock when everyone else is in jeans is just as bad as wearing jeans when everyone is poshed up. It's about fitting in and not sticking out like a sore thumb.

The only time the dress up rather than dress down rule works is for a job interview and first day at work. That's when "you can't be too overdressed" rules applies.

DanceDisaster · 12/04/2018 06:19

I actually think it would look fine at a casual get together with a denim / biker jacket or the right chunky jumper.

I don’t get why your dh is embarrassed about it, unless you have form for showing up at the local pub in a wedding dress or something Grin.

As to whether it would look good in the photos, I don’t know... I’ve only ever seen those family photos with everyone in jeans and white tshirts or all black. I thought it was so that the photo wouldn’t date badly. I’d ask the photographer as suggested^^.

GilligansKitchenIsland · 12/04/2018 06:28

Your DH sounds like mine, OP - he won't wear formal trousers unless he absolutely has to wear a suit. But I love dressing up. We have loads of photos of us at various events where I'm in a dress and heels, and he's in chinos (he won't wear jeans either) and a nice shirt. I don't think we look terribly mismatched in them. Would your DH and DS consider wearing a tie or blazer in some of the photos? That could smarten their outfits up a bit if you're worried about not matching smartness levels.