Softzilla: You play; you pay!

[Unreasonableunreasonableness]

Before you all get excited: no party yet (I was trying to keep when it was vague so more anonymous but i give up) . I have had a message from softzilla.
'So are we calm enough to sort this oot for tomorrow? '

Are they dry at night yet? 😅

I do like the idea of inviting TPF to soft play and coffee "my treat, to shoe that there is no hard feeling" on the group chat

However, I'd resist the temptation as it would be very passive-aggressive, and would then drag TPF into the middle of SZ's games.

So best to ignore - and maybe off line invite TPF for coffee and a chat to demonstrate you're fine with her.

I'm wondering if the reason why Softzilla is escalating is because OP is not reacting to her behaviour in a way that other people have in the past. So she is adding, and adding to the lies to get reaction if that makes sense.

Softzilla needs OP to react and probably and extreme reaction so she can be vindicated about all the things she has lied about

Bingo. OP, please don't let softzilla goad you into losing your dignity. You've done so well so far not to rise to her bait. Block her and focus on your normal decent friends.

I had a similar situation years ago with my own softzilla (totally different scenario, but similar batshit manipulative MO). She ended up causing a scene in a restaurant one day when the group was out for lunch. The rest of us sat in silence and let her make (even more of) a fool of herself. I can't tell you how much I wanted to retaliate, as did some of the others, but I/we somehow refrained, and I/we were able to leave the restaurant with our dignity intact.

The group as a whole was on its last rickety legs anyway, and this just finished it off. Only one person stuck by batshit woman after that.

OP, you're so in need of a namechange! Unreasonable you ain't.

Funny, there don't seem to be as many nay-sayers coming back and telling you what the rest of us are: that you're behaving so well, dignified, etc.

I knew someone like this. She would try to be the filter for all communication, saying when people were busy and couldn't see someone else (turns out they weren't busy she just didn't want people getting together independently of her).

I stupidly called her out on it when I saw the lying emails she was sending out about me. She got upset and went off crying. Then she got really venomous. She tried to wreck my career over a 4 year period even after we weren't working together anymore. People tried to warn me about her at the start and I didn't listen.

She was a nasty piece of work and I should have steered well clear of her and just been superficially pleasant. There was no answer and no fix to her just grief for me.

Personally I'd just steer clear. Shed showing her true colours to others you don't need to do anything else.

What a nasty, cruel cow upsetting you and your pregnant friend. You’re doing really well to rise above it. Hope she leaves you alone now 💐

OP, I have read this and your other thread. You were right, dignity, dignity, dignity is the way to go..... Even if you want to vomit with anger afterwards. And you were dignified from he word go cos you tried to smooth it over more or less straight away.

You were right not to take her calls either, because you would eitehr have to have had several witnesses or record it to play back when she started lying about what was said.

You could tell her that the producers of a forthcoming west end musical are looking for her. Pretty Little Liars The Musical is coming to London next year and they are looking for a technical adviser.

PS: I loved the pigeon meme.

You were definitely right not to take her calls, that way she hasn't been able to spread lies about you that you're not able to refute. Like her trying to convince your pregnant friend that you were crying at the party. That's easy to refute because your other friends can vouch for you.

Maybe a group WhatsApp message, like.
^OK, lets vote, am I a sponging cow ?
Do I owe anyone money ?
Am I obliged to pay for a third party at Soft hell ?
Oh & finally extra points for anyone who saw crying at the party, (I wasn't)^

Blimey what a nutter Softzilla sounds!

I think you hold all the cards in your calmness. She can brush the issue with you off as a misunderstanding. But shes now outed herself as a liar (and a bit mental to be honest) to be going to upset TPF. If you ignore her she may well go to another friend and try to create drama. Shes just outing herself to a wider circle now, which proves the first issue was nothing to do with you and she is, infact, unhinged and a bit obsessed with you at this stage.

Placemark

My 16 year old daughter and her friends have started going out to parties. Due to the rural location in which we live these can be anything from a 10 to 45 minute drive away. Why is it that none of the other Mums or Dads will get off their lazy asses and help with the lifts. Some are happy to drop off but it’s always left down to me to pick up. Excuses, excuses every bloody time. I’m on my own as husband works away but will pull out the stops so my daughter can go. I’ve told my DD today that the next party I will only take her and pick her up and the others can find their own way. AIBU

Sorry, didn’t mean to post that, was meant to be a new thread. Please ignore. X

Sparkle, no, yanbu.

Sitting outside leisure centre waiting for kids, I can’t wait to hear how the party went 😂😂
I hope your okay

You've missed the update curlywurly. You need to back up a bit.

(Or have I missed mention of another party? )

WalkaboutWendy. Wow - your post just opened my eyes 'try to be filter for all information'. I realise I've had at least one of those 'friends' in my life. I remember especially being told not to contact an acquaintance as he was furious with me.
A tentative note saying I was sorry if I'd inadvertently upset him resulted in an immediate phone call, 'What the hell are you on about? Of course I'm not annoyed with you'. I avoided her after that, mutual friends told me I should have cut her off years before!

OP I have just caught up with this. You do know that this is not the end of this? Softzilla was deliberately trying to sabotage your relationship with TPF and she will keep doing it.

Her behaviour is so weird and tenacious that it does make me wonder if she is having some sort of psychotic episode. Has she ever shown any signs of psychotic illness in the past? Could it be some psychotic form of PND and you are the target she is fixating on?

I would consider sending ThumbWitch's message on the group chat. Thanks for all the PMs, so thoughtful, but honestly, no biggie, just taking longer than you'd both hoped; delighted for TPF and the others; had a great time at party yesterday, lovely to see everyone and catch up soon.

If you haven't already, I would block her number from your phone. It really sounds like she is prepared to keep trying to get at you.

She just proves even more what a bully and nasty piece of work she is. Shit sirring about your fertility and emotions. I suspect she thought you and your friend would have a bust up.

Keep ignoring her. Block her and be honest with your friend that you want nothing more to do with SZ and not to believe a word she says.

I think my husband would definitely disagree with a name change lol! Been out all day today with my sister. There was a group on today but it seems softzilla didn't turn up. TPF also didn't go

We (group of school friends) were Wendied at college by someone I befriended in a lesson, she went through us one by one trying to isolate us and make us 'her' friend only. Unfortunately the only person it worked with was my closest friend. It still makes me sad to this day that we went from best friends to basically strangers in less than a few months really. We didn't have any contact at all for over 20 years.

I discovered very recently that the wendy continued her weirdness after we left college, inviting herself to move in with a friend's family, trying to break up another friend's relationship...

OP, your story has made me sad to think that my wendy is quite likely to be continuing her vileness as an adult as it's not something they grow out of, as demonstrated by Softzilla.

I'm sorry to hear that TPF didn't show up for the group activity today. I hope she's ok, it was horrible of Softzilla to hurt her to get to you, treating her like collateral damage, I think.