Softzilla: You play; you pay!

[Unreasonableunreasonableness]

Before you all get excited: no party yet (I was trying to keep when it was vague so more anonymous but i give up) . I have had a message from softzilla.
'So are we calm enough to sort this oot for tomorrow? '

I suspect some of thrm are reading this thread op.

Oh OP you don’t deserve any of this. How awful for you. She’s unhinged and you are the unfortunate person in the wrong place at the wrong time. I hope she leaves you alone soon.

I think you have handled a difficult and upsetting situation really well.
I also think it was a good thing that you didn't block her previously - she would have used it and made much of it "I tried to speak to Unreasonable but she blocked me." and also it has shown her up to your other friends for what she is an unhinged bully - but any more bonkers texts or calls and you should go ahead and block.
She might not move on just yet - but given the way you keep taking the wind out of her sails, and are not giving her the satisfaction that she craves, she will move on.
I've seen something like this with a primary school mum, she seemed to always want to have some kind of campaign against someone, and she repeated the pattern again and again. Eventually apart from two cronies, her comrades in her campaigns, people began to steer clear and she lost her effectiveness. You may find that you are not the only person she has done this to.
Avoid her from now on as much as you practically can. Very best of luck and try not to let this upset you xx

Wow, how can people still be behaving like this as adults?

We have a mum just like this at our school. She seems to pick on one mum at a time, gives their life hell for a while, and then when she realises she isn’t getting her desired reaction she moves onto some other “victim”.

She started with chair of PTA, telling everyone else how bad she was at runnning it and what she should be doing whilst absolutely refusing to even join PTA.

The last one has moved her dc from the school inorder to escape her madness! She came up with all sorts of random accusations against the mother and her dc, all unfounded which I know for a fact, but it became too stressful for the victim so she has moved schools.

Just watch her closely, and don’t believe she is willing to change. Keep talking to your friends as the situation arises so all will know what’s happening. As long as you are all a team she can’t have the affect she desires....

I would be very surprised if that wasn't the case, especially since you told your friend you'd named her 'party friend'. SZ seems obsessed with you so she could well be lurking in here whilst pretending not to be interested in Mumsnet.

I've been known to tell people that MN is shit.

I'm on here all the time and have been since 2007 (namechanges)

You learn something every day.
I thought wendy-ing was from Peter Pan

Off topic, sorry!
OP. Take a very wide birth, this woman would be really worrying me.

Apparently 'someone from the party ' called her and told her that I'm really upset and was crying at the party at what she's did. She didn't confirm who it was but i admit I asked directly if it was softzilla and she just went quiet and started apologising again.

She really likes making trouble, doesn't she.

If SZ does know about the thread you will soon hear about it, "She actually posted about me on mumsnet." Not even sure that would get that much sympathy either. But she'd have to out herself to in order to tell people and she would see that opinions about her behaviour have been 99% negative. If people went to find the thread they'd read about her harrassing phonecalls too.

Oh OP

Softzilla will be her own unraveling. Your friendship group are wising up to her shitty attitude and behaviour.

Stay strong, don't engage and get this toxic pos out of your life xx

Wow she is a shit stirring narc isn’t she

Wow! This is exactly the reason I have no friends!

Well, potential for drama and the fact that I can’t stand 99.9% of people.

Sounds as if she hasn’t managed to pick you off so she’s targeting outing friend. I also imagine she isn’t done with you yet. It sounds as though she may have sociopathic traits.

It's worrying. It's possible that this woman is prepared to lie to and distress a pregnant woman just to bait you? She obviously knew it would get back to you. She shouldn't be getting anyone else involved in this. If I was pregnant lady I'd be exposing that bitch.

My thoughts exactly @WetPaint4 - she is going to be burning bridges all over the place if she doesn't get a fucking grip of herself and stop being a dick

My thoughts exactly @WetPaint4 - she is going to be burning bridges all over the place if she doesn't get a fucking grip of herself and stop being a dick

.

God she's mental. Glad the party well okay, though the shadowing would have freaked me out!

Can't seem to 'watch this thread' for some reason so doing a silly place mark.

Can't seem to 'watch this thread' for some reason so doing a silly place mark.

I’m reading this completely agog!

Yea I must admit if I were in newly pregnant friends position I'd be binning off sz for that alone! And telling people why. SUCH a nasty bitchy thing to do - plus I can't abide liars!

Seems op's non-engagement without blocking and remaining civil in public is working insofar as sz is reacting by escalating.

If this isn't the straw that breaks the camels back for her being in the group - well it should be - but if it isn't I don't think it'll be long before she does do something from which she can't recover/wriggle out of.

A case of give her enough rope...

Left it late to come back for an update....

.....and nothing!!

OMG, she is the lowest form of Dram llama scum! She has used your upset at being outed to try to cause drama with the person who outed you. OK, she should be told but if she did not do it deliberately, she should be told kindly and gently, not in a way which leads her to believe that you were crying at a party over it, when you were not!