Softzilla: You play; you pay!

[Unreasonableunreasonableness]

Before you all get excited: no party yet (I was trying to keep when it was vague so more anonymous but i give up) . I have had a message from softzilla.
'So are we calm enough to sort this oot for tomorrow? '

paranoidpammywhammy2 me too

How did softzulla know that your fertility issues had been 'outed' or that you may have been upset about it?

Just wow. How much of this woman's stirring bullshit are you meant to quietly take and rise above?

The trouble is, if you confront her on this alone, she will lie completely about what was said and you'll have no comeback. I wouldn't put her past lying and putting it about that she's spoken to you tonight anyway and that you've said all sorts.

She's really trying to force you into a corner isn't she? Obsessive and dangerous - stay away from her!

What makes you think she's read the threads?

I think that, bizarrely, it's the OP's refusal to engage that is enraging her somehow, and making her up the ante.

How would SZ know that you were upset about the outing? Could she have read it here?

That's a horrible thing to do after everything op

I think WowLookAtYou is right, SZ is spoiling for a fight and is furious that the OP isn't engaging. Is she going to phone Jeremy Kyle next??

How would SZ know that you were upset about the outing?
Sorry to just pick yours out chased, as a few have asked, but OP did say that SZ will have known she would have been upset over the outing, being part of the group. It is possible she's read these. It's also possible she's just a bitch who knows how to hit low.

I would suggest you make the boundary watertight...ie dont form any friendship or extend any form of future anything other than polite greetings. I would go so far as to tell her that you dont think you would be suited as friends and that you wish her well. The first incident was just a glimpse of future issues you will have. She hasnt even put on her best behaviour before unleashing this demanding victim passive aggressive personality and it really isnt normal. The sooner you disengage completely the better. Google PAR triangle. she will make and others the P and R so step out before your thoughts are troubled by more examples. It has been the most mouth dropping social situation thread though.

She's going to get all stroppy and blame you "for not putting it behind you" even though you said you would, when she wants you to meet up and you politely decline. She has it in for you and won't stop till you're ousted from the group. What she doesn't realise is that she will hang herself with her own rope if you continue to be civil and polite.

She thinks you are her best friend now and she is interfering to protecting you from evil outing friend...

Wow. Time to phase her out.

Nasty fucking bitch

So not content with tormenting you, she’s now tormenting others too.

She’s not going to have any friends left at this rate

I understand she had to deal with the party and so on, I have been reading both threads since the off.

If OP had blocked earlier, she wouldn't have had to read the horrible texts and hear the phone ringing constantly while trying to deal with fertilty issues and all the rest of stuff life throws at us.

SZ is clearly an absolute loon. I just want OP to protect herself where she can and reduce the amount of access and impact SZ can have on her life.

SZ is still getting exactly what she thrives on, attention. She'll keep coming back for more until her supply gets cut off.

Wow. Just wow. Do you think that she’s just one of those people who just can’t abide a peaceful life? That whenever she sees homeostasis recovered she’s compelled to disrupt it? I.e. batshit crazy?

But the OP isn't giving her any attention!!

wow she really is on crack isnt she

i dont kow what to say other than im not really shocked shes carrying on-shes got it in for you and determined to get you out of the group

Been lurking, aghast at the antics of SZ and in awe of Unreasonable's reasonableness () and dignity.

SZ's latest antics demonstrate that she is only interested in being a drama llama and the centre of attention.

I hope you managed to reassure the friend who "outed" you unintentionally that you hadn't been upset at the party. If Friend 1 and 3, who had been with you at the party can back you up - and also reassure her. That will further show up SZ for the attention seeker that she is.

If your friends are decent human beings, everyone will slowly be coming to the realization that softzilla is just a bit hard work, and will all naturally start to withdraw without any further consultations.

Do not engage with her. Stiff upper lip! You are all so much better than this childish and awful behavior.

Well she’s got two threads on mn so that could indeed be fueling the fire.
She is batshit but I’d be blocking her on everything and deleting these threads.

You’re my hero OP. 🤗🥇🏆

You’re doing exactly the right thing by asking outright if it was softzilla and defending yourself. I worked with a nursezilla/Wendy, that managed to turn a lot of co workers against me with her lies and I never stood up for myself. I kept worrying about making things worse, but in retrospect I had nothing to lose, because by doing nothing she won, she ‘won’. I’m older and wiser now.

Excuse the paranoia but if you ever bump into her face to face, make sure you record the conversation, because you know she will lie. Just take out your phone and say you’ve got to send a quick text, then keep it recording.

testing testing. wrote a message. posted it. cant see it. dont particularly need to reread my own message but I'd like to know what I'm doing wrong

Feck sakes... where does SZ get her bloody energy from for this relentless garbage...

okay.. back to mantra.. do not engage

ah sorry i must have just previewed it