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Original poster

Softzilla: You play; you pay!

951 replies

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 11/04/2018 19:07

Before you all get excited: no party yet (I was trying to keep when it was vague so more anonymous but i give up) . I have had a message from softzilla.
'So are we calm enough to sort this oot for tomorrow? 'Hmm

OP posts:
paranoidpammywhammy2 · 12/04/2018 15:26

I'm thinking 'Softzilla with Wings' does seem to have some insight into Softzilla's mindset.

I've been trying to understand how she's justifying her behaviour.

Wings' states: yes I have read the threads, I am not for one second saying OP should forgive if SZ doesn't explain/apologise.

Regardless of explanation or apology - I think it's gone too far - 'forgiveness' is unlikely now.

Gemini69 · 12/04/2018 15:27

You do not have to answer the phone to anyone you don’t want to, and as someone who has already acknowledged that they hate confrontation, I can totally understand why you would want to ignore and avoid all possibility of her confronting you and “dealing with it”. I think you have responded to this whole sorry situation with grace and dignity, and in no way are you stoking any fire or fanning any flames.

agreed

SoftzillaPissedHerPants · 12/04/2018 15:28

but has tried to get in touch and been ignored.

But OP did say lets put it behind us a couple of times which SZ ignored and continued with her fuckwittery.

GreenTulips · 12/04/2018 15:33

I think softzilla has realised she's overstepped the mark and allnjer plans to isolate and bully OP have backfired and she's been left in the cold.

Now I think it's important that OP isn't left alone with SZ because she has form for being batshit crazy and tells lies and twists everything to her advantage. OP is quite rightly not playing her games.

This woman needs to take a step back and realise these are her daughters friendships she's ruining and it's not just about her own social life.

OP hasn't done anything wrong - in fact has been exceptionally restrained. What others donor say are out of her control and one friend witnessed the nastiness in the ball park.

Chin up!

LagunaBubbles · 12/04/2018 15:33

I'm starting to feel sorry for softzilla

Unfortunately in real life there is always someone to who feels sorry for a bully.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 12/04/2018 15:33

Why are people feeling sorry for someone who growled at the op when she offered to put things behind them? And then made threats about things being on her head...

The op has tried to reason and be the better person. And had everything thrown back in her face. Sz started lies about the op within the friendship group. And continues to send passive aggressive texts.

I don't think I could behave so restrained and calmly.

Gemini69 · 12/04/2018 15:34

but has tried to get in touch and been ignored

the horrid content in the voicemails and texts already left by SZ.. I wouldn't respond either... Confused

why on earth would anyone respond to such behaviour Flowers

BullshitometerCalibrator · 12/04/2018 15:36

weallhavewings

Firstly, I do like your SZ defence - made me laugh.

I am saying why has the OP twice texted SZ to say she is happy to put it behind her when she clearly doesn't mean it?

Secondly though, OP has clearly stated she DOES want to put it behind her. She just wants to move on and forget it happened. Afterall she is going through enough as it is.

Why doesn't she just answer the phone to someone who says they want to sort it out calmly and find out what the woman has to say?

Calm isn't in SZ's vocabulary. She's clearly demonstrated this through her threats and lies. I don't know anyone in their right mind who would want to take that call to potentially be manipulated more. She's toxic and wants the indulgence of the OP's solo attention away from other witnesses to try and manipulate the situation to her own deluded advantage. Ignorance really is the best route - only people who haven't grown up enough to be able to just let things go and mark it down to experience would find the ignorance a problem. SZ just isn't getting the message. We don't have to speak to people if we don't want to, and we shouldn't have to. If a friendship has been ruined it's time to move on.

And mostly, gathering a posse to "turn up together" and cause awkwardness and potentially a scene at a child's birthday party is akin to playground behaviour from all the grown women on both sides of this unnecessary feud the OP has allowed to develop.

The OP hasn't allowed this to develop. She offered the olive branch early on to let things lie and move on. SZ wasn't satisfied with this response - she WANTS the drama. It sounds like she's got it in for the OP from the sounds of all the watching things happen regarding finances. And it's not a posse. They aren't strutting in to the party to Destiny's Child's Independent Women on full blast - OP is simply taking the cake with party friend and other friend. Besides which they're going early and so SZ won't even witness them arriving together.

Lizzie48 · 12/04/2018 15:39

It's all a bit melodramatic to talk about 'forgiveness' tbh, it's not as if they're close friends who have had a falling out. They're just 2 mums who have met up at soft play a couple of times. They can just draw a line under it, which is what Softzilla is refusing to do.

dejectedharry · 12/04/2018 15:39

It is easy to forget how nasty someone has been when you're not on the receiving end of it. I don't believe I would be responding any more than OP already has. OP has tried to put it behind her but for some reason, SZ will not accept the text message and needs further validation. Just carry on as you are OP you can't win whatever you do.

GabsAlot · 12/04/2018 15:43

explain what wings
-why she stirred shit and lied for no reason? why should anyone listen to that

FantasticButtocks · 12/04/2018 15:46

Could SZ have come on to MN with more than one username to try to change the direction of this thread?

Because there is more gaslighting going on here: accusing the op of escalating things when she's done the opposite, saying 'they' both should "behave like adults" when op is already doing so and tried to stop all this nonsense gently and maturely and was growled at, urging the op to answer the phone to talk about 'sorting things out' before the party, when she has already tried to sort it out and move on and SZ just persists with keeping this going. Gaslighting.

FantasticButtocks · 12/04/2018 15:52

And someone talking about strutting in with her friends. I mean that word, strutting, that comes from whoever posted it not from op. My understanding is that op and party friend and one other will all already be at the venue with the cake and setting up - no one is going to be strutting in!

FantasticButtocks · 12/04/2018 15:53

And someone talking about strutting in with her friends. I mean that word, strutting, that comes from whoever posted it not from op. My understanding is that op and party friend and one other will all already be at the venue with the cake and setting up - no one is going to be strutting in!

WeAllHaveWings · 12/04/2018 15:58

Could SZ have come on to MN with more than one username to try to change the direction of this thread?

Or could more than one person on MN have a different opinion or approach to handling an issue that the majority? Shock

Gemini69 · 12/04/2018 15:58

I hope OP.. is having a nice time and surrounded by friends that care and know she's a good kind generous loving person... Flowers

StormTreader · 12/04/2018 16:01

"Are we calm" is deliberately provoking language - its what you would say to a stropping teen "have we got over our tantrum now?" I would be replying also with the Royal We with "I don't know, have we?"

I'm glad the OP has not answered any of the (surely by now almost 100) calls. My experience with these people is that they will be nasty and provoking when there is no way to prove what they said, they will claim you said things or misheard things or misunderstood things.

Keeping everything in text gives you black and white evidence, we've already had more than one instance of Party mum saying "she didnt really say that, did she!?" and with no proof it becomes confusing to work out which party is the one not reporting things correctly.

Flexoset · 12/04/2018 16:04

OP, just wanted to say that I am in awe of the grace and dignity you have shown in this horribly stressful situation. Flowers

WeAllHaveWings · 12/04/2018 16:05

Wings has gone quiet - she must have left for the party!

😂😂😂

I am allowed to disagree without being SZ.

(I was walking the dog with before mentioned 14 year old son who wasnt very pleased about being torn away from his xbox during the easter holidays)

KriticalSoul · 12/04/2018 16:06

The fact that softzilla growled at the OP when she tried to sort it out the first time, and then has done her level best to make out the OP is the one in the wrong with everyone who'll listen precludes her from being even slightly reasonable.

its not how a reasonable adult acts!

Lizzie48 · 12/04/2018 16:07

Yes that's so true, StormTreader, it's obvious that Softzilla doesn't want to have it all on record. She can say, 'But I apologised to you when we spoke on the phone.' Then the OP wouldn't be able to prove that Softzilla is lying.

Charmatt · 12/04/2018 16:07

It was a joke........Halo

Lizzie48 · 12/04/2018 16:08

Yes that's so true, StormTreader, it's obvious that Softzilla doesn't want to have it all on record. She can say, 'But I apologised to you when we spoke on the phone.' Then the OP wouldn't be able to prove that Softzilla is lying.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 12/04/2018 16:09

the OP has enough on her plate without having to deal with histrionics from SZ

Damn right Grumble

I would find it hard to cope with this level of P/A behaviour, and just hearing the person's voice (after that sort of patronising text) would upset me - and I haven't got the other emotional weights upon me that OP has.

OP intends to be courteous and even pleasant, but there is nothing wrong with letting Softzilla know that other people have her back. As far as I am aware no-one is going to beat SZ up behind the bike sheds, or throw her homework in the canal.

They just aren't going to allow her to bully OP (or anyone else).

forgettingnames · 12/04/2018 16:10

I do think it is a bit odd to think that someone must have ulterior motives for having a different opinion.

The most likely explanation is surely that they just have a different opinion.