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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Softzilla: You play; you pay!

951 replies

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 11/04/2018 19:07

Before you all get excited: no party yet (I was trying to keep when it was vague so more anonymous but i give up) . I have had a message from softzilla.
'So are we calm enough to sort this oot for tomorrow? 'Hmm

OP posts:
puglife15 · 12/04/2018 14:39

I'm on the fence really, if this woman is going to be part of your life longer term maybe it's best to be the bigger person...?

puglife15 · 12/04/2018 14:40

The calm thing is a dick move. She clearly thinks you're furious.

WowLookAtYou · 12/04/2018 14:40

The OP has already tried to be there bigger person- several times. The first time, she was growled at and ignored, and even today texted her to say there was no issue and there's nothing to discuss.

WowLookAtYou · 12/04/2018 14:41

The OP has already tried to be there bigger person- several times. The first time, she was growled at and ignored, and even today texted her to say there was no issue and there's nothing to discuss.

ShapelyBingoWing · 12/04/2018 14:41

I hope she has the grace to be contrite today OP and you can feel a bit lighter after.

Charmatt · 12/04/2018 14:43

Wings has gone quiet - she must have left for the party!

StickThatInYourPipe · 12/04/2018 14:45

Do we think wings is really sf?

SoftzillaPissedHerPants · 12/04/2018 14:48

No, I think wings as trying and failing to be devils advocate.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 12/04/2018 14:52

Fgs surely people can disagree without having to be softzilla!

I actually think that Wings said some sensible things.

The drama is definitely being stoked by not just answering the bloody phone. It's ok sending texts saying all's good and no issue but then by not answering any one of several calls is giving out a totally different message.

This could have been put to bed before needing back up to attend a party.

snewsname · 12/04/2018 14:52

Try to be civil and polite. You have taken the higher road so far. Try not to be goaded into losing this.

Gemini69 · 12/04/2018 14:54

I really wish people would read the Thread.. before writing off the OP and her actions...

She's been hassled and threatened by a Nutcase....

Damn right she shouldn't answer her phone to this bully

Charmatt · 12/04/2018 14:54

I can understand not answering the phone - it leaves you isolated talking to her, you can't see her facial gestures and there are no witnesses to what is being said. Following the phonecall, SZ could very easily repeat the behaviour she has already shown by telling others a complete load of rubbish, but at the same time be able to show a call log to prove the phonecall took place. I wouldn't answer the phone either!

allthegoodnameshadgone · 12/04/2018 14:57

What time is op good by the party?

Good luck op xx

allthegoodnameshadgone · 12/04/2018 14:57

What time is op going the party?

Good luck op xx

gingeristhenewblack43 · 12/04/2018 15:01

Don't have time to rtft so coming back later.

Hope the party is drama free OP!

gingeristhenewblack43 · 12/04/2018 15:02

Don't have time to rtft so coming back later.

Hope the party is drama free OP!

moofolk · 12/04/2018 15:02

I'm starting to feel sorry for softzilla. She has been trying to ring.

Anyway looking forward to post match analysis when is she back from the party? I'll get a brew on.

Allthebestnamesareused · 12/04/2018 15:04

I think Op is really restrained in not replying! I wouldn't be able to resist.

Coyoacan · 12/04/2018 15:10

I'm starting to feel sorry for softzilla

Me too. But she is the architect of her own problems

moofolk · 12/04/2018 15:12

she is the architect of her own problems Aren't we all?!

Seriously she sounds like a dick, no arguments there, but has tried to get in touch and been ignored.

leafblower · 12/04/2018 15:15

Why on Earth are people feeling sorry for her? She was unpleasant, has bullied and lied. And is clearly avoiding sending a text apology so there's no 'proof' of her wrong doing.

leafblower · 12/04/2018 15:15

Why on Earth are people feeling sorry for her? She was unpleasant, has bullied and lied. And is clearly avoiding sending a text apology so there's no 'proof' of her wrong doing.

TamiTayorismyparentingguru · 12/04/2018 15:17

OP I think you are right to not answer the phone. You do not have to answer the phone to anyone you don’t want to, and as someone who has already acknowledged that they hate confrontation, I can totally understand why you would want to ignore and avoid all possibility of her confronting you and “dealing with it”. I think you have responded to this whole sorry situation with grace and dignity, and in no way are you stoking any fire or fanning any flames.

If SZ wants to come and apologise to you in person then she can do that, or she can do so via text if she wants it to be private. Nothing is stopping her from doing that. (In fact, she has falsely told others that she already has) You owe her nothing and have every right to just get on with your life - drama free.

Yes, you may well still see this woman for years to come, but that doesn’t mean you have to be best friends. It’s not a choice between friends or enemies - there is a happy medium of casual acquaintance, which is what most people at the school gate are - not someone you socialise with, not someone you are rude to - just a quick hello and a smile in passing and that’s it. Nothing immature or drama-seeking about it - it’s real life

GrumbleBumble · 12/04/2018 15:24

The OP has other issues in her life at the moment that have left her feeling vulnerable and emotional - if she answers the phone to SZ whilst upset about something unconnected SZ may think the OP is emotional at/because of her which isn't the case. If she didn't have other things going on I would agree that answering the phone a SZ would be the way to go but frankly the OP has enough on her plate without having to deal with histrionics from SZ.

BerkInBag · 12/04/2018 15:25

William Hill latest:

5/1 thread will be deleted for "too much identifying information"
1/2 most posters on thread are actually 14 years of age