Softzilla: You play; you pay!

[Unreasonableunreasonableness]

Before you all get excited: no party yet (I was trying to keep when it was vague so more anonymous but i give up) . I have had a message from softzilla.
'So are we calm enough to sort this oot for tomorrow? '

I'm starting to think that @WeAllHaveWings could well be Softzilla. Because you're twisting it completely to make it appear as if the OP is in the wrong. And it sounds like exactly the sort of thing that she would say.

The OP has already said that it's ok and isn't looking for a fight. Softzilla is the one that growled at her.

And why should she answer the phone when the woman calls her? I wouldn't in her position, although admittedly I would have blocked her number before now.

Invested so much time into these threads!
The audacity of that silly bitch. Hope all goes well today OP can't wait to read the outcome.

I hate it when people create problems then try to make out it wasn't them at all, there was never a problem, or - even worse - try to blame someone else altogether.

That's what softzilla has done here.

Why the OP is coming under fire for using MN for support with an issue that is causing her stress is beyond me!

Hope you're ok OP as - despite all the lightheartedness and MN banter - I know situations like this can make people feel quite anxious. It sounds like you have enough going on at the moment without this extra stress

Weallhavewings can I just check have you read the whole 2 threads? Have you read just how manipulative softzilla has been with all her lies, the "on your head" comment, and the patronising "are we calm" message, etc?

yes I have read the threads, I am not for one second saying OP should forgive if SZ doesn't explain/apologise.

I am saying why has the OP twice texted SZ to say she is happy to put it behind her when she clearly doesn't mean it?

Why doesn't she just answer the phone to someone who says they want to sort it out calmly and find out what the woman has to say?

And mostly, gathering a posse to "turn up together" and cause awkwardness and potentially a scene at a child's birthday party is akin to playground behaviour from all the grown women on both sides of this unnecessary feud the OP has allowed to develop.

Good luck at the party OP, keep your head held high.
Don't accidentally call her Softzilla will you? 😁

I agree with Wings and Madmags. She has behaved appallingly but it is time to move on.

This is your life OP, it's not for the entertainment of us folks on Mumsnet.

Crying with laughter at "unsbscribe" from page 1

Now going back to read the thread with a cuppa

Very much looking forward to hearing how things went at the party...probably haven't been this excited since waiting for Season 8 of TWD to start!

I'm starting to think that @WeAllHaveWings could well be Softzilla.

Yep, I regularly go to soft play with my 14 year old, 5'7" son, he loves it!

Lizzie I thought that after the first post.

OP, I hope party goes really well and all the DC, especially party boy have a wonderful time. I hope party mum enjoys herself afterwards. I hope all mums have a great time and there's no drama at all. I hope softzilla apologises, or at least sits and chats nicely to people.

I hope you come back and tell us nothing happened at all and you can move on with your life in peace

Tbf, the OP has tried to move on, it's the other woman who's feeding the drama. She does have to engage with her. All that needs to happen is for them to be cordial with each other at the party and focus on giving their DCs a good time together.

The problem is that it doesn't seem likely that Softzilla will leave it at that. Some people do like to create drama around themselves.

If softzilla called and left a message saying she wanted to talk then left it until op got back to them, it could be the actions of a reasonable person who wanted to clear the air.
As it is softzilla has repetitively called and demanded their call to be taken never mind the not so thinly veiled threat. This is not the action of a reasonable person who just wants to clear the air.

The "evidence" is all hearsay and chinese whispers, if OP would just answer the bloody phone they could put it to bed one way or another

it's you, isn't it Wings?

It appears Softzilla found the thread

How is arriving early and bringing the birthday cake to the party along with partymum at all inflammatory? Surely arriving early isn't causing a scene at all? OP will already be there when Softzilla arrives, which takes any drama out of the situation. There's clearly no intention to stride in mob-handed if they arrive early. Who would even know they arrived together? And what's wrong with a group of people arriving at a party together anyway? I used to do it back in the day. Maybe OP would have done this in any event.

It's clear Softzilla isn't averse to lying and twisting conversations so why in hell should OP talk to her on the phone and give her any more chances to lie? The 'are we calm enough' crap from yesterday clearly indicates that SZ is still spoiling for a fight, that's a very PA thing to say and I wouldn't engage with that bullshit either.

Totally agree with Mumoftwoyoungkids said a little way up.

Blimey Softxzilla is a sociopath! Hope party is going well, can't wait to hear to hear what happens. Hold your head high OP, you have behaved with great dignity

Wing = Softzilla?

Anyway, it's pretty sure that softzilla has found the thread, realised she has been an idiot and is trying to spin her way out of it. She has not wanted to accept things have moved on, who calls that much! She stood there at the desk waiting to be paid for because she saw the OP be paid for by someone's else? There arrangement has nothing to do with them.
Softzilla, from the time the OP came to talk to you and you refused to sit with her and tried to get her to buy you food and drinks, when by your own rules you initiated meeting up, I would have blockaded your number from there.

To be fair the Op has texted Softzilla more than once the say everything is fine and nothing to discuss

^. Absolutely this. If she is phoning to apologise then frankly, as she has apparently been erroneously informing people op is a freeloader, she should do it in a more public forum like at the party.

“ I’m really sorry, don’t know what got in to me. Aplogies. Can we forget about it?”

I do hope she is not confrontational with you op but if she is just shut her down and tell her “not now”. Walk away. Sounds like everyone is on your side

Yes the crazy bitch that just keeps giving.

The 'are we calm enough' crap from yesterday clearly indicates that SZ is still spoiling for a fight, that's a very PA thing to say and I wouldn't engage with that bullshit either.

Totally. PA, patronising, remark, clearly aimed to wind up.

The wretched woman's behaviour has been spiteful and unreasonable from the very beginning. If the rest of the friendship group want to cut her out, fair play to them. OP is under no obligation to take her phone calls or engage with her in any way after her behaviour.

The "are we calm" jibe is an indication that, at the very least, she considers the issue to be 50:50 shared fault.
That would piss me off all over again too.

The "are we calm" jibe is an indication that, at the very least, she considers the issue to be 50:50 shared fault.
That would piss me off all over again too.