Softzilla: You play; you pay!

[Unreasonableunreasonableness]

Before you all get excited: no party yet (I was trying to keep when it was vague so more anonymous but i give up) . I have had a message from softzilla.
'So are we calm enough to sort this oot for tomorrow? '

Dhal
Placemarking is where someone writes “placemarking” or posts a “.” Or similar.

Is it worth at least attempting to clear the nonsense by texting something along the lines of

"I understand that you believe that I have allowed people to pay for me when we go out and should therefore now be paying for others. You may have noticed that the people who paid obviously do not think the same as you, and that is because this happened on a few occasions when there was a glitch with my bank card and I immediately arranged for them to be repaid through Paypal.

If your current issues arise from this misunderstanding, I hope that this clears it up and we can lay this all to rest."

She's shitting herself now. How appropriate is my username

GnotherGnu The OP does not need to explain herself to the CF at all!

The OP does not need to explain herself to the CF at all!

Spot on.

Dhal

As mentioned above posters may write "placemarking" on a thread but sometimes they will also write a very short comment to place mark too (then do a strikethrough and write "blatant placemarking". It's so that you know where you're up to on fast moving threads like this, and so the thread appears in your MN commented on threads.

It also means if the thread gets shut down you'll get the info message from MN as to why it's been shit down.

People sometimes do it in an embarrassed way as if loads of people placemark then threads can get clogged up without anyone actually helping the OP- there is also the argument that people should just follow the thread without commenting, but then you don't get the MN messages if it's shut down.

blatant placemarking but hopefully helpful post

If she has seen other people pay for Op though-what is that to her?

I've since had a couple of calls from her

Is she getting worried? Or is she just an obsessive loon?

Yep she's nuttier than a pecan pie. And the are we calm message?? What a patronising cheeky fucker cockwomble. The devil inside me would want to send a message saying 'odd - that doesn't appear to be the apology you've allegedly sent??' But the sane part of me (which waaay outweighs the devil side - honest) still says the best and most dignified response is to completely ignore her and cut her out. It will drive her nuts with her obvious need to be in control and she's bound to explode and reveal her true self to everyone else sooner or later. The thing is that you really can't reason with crazy because they convince themselves they're right. If she does confront you at the party, I'd be asking (in front of a witness) for clarification of what you've actually done wrong, and also be asking to see her phone for the apology she's told people she sent you because it's odd you never received it so you just don't believe it was ever sent. That should shop her in her tracks - people who tell lies always get caught out at some point.
And I'm sorry to hear about your other problems. You really need to concentrate on you and cut out the people that just aren't worth your time and energy. She's toxic and no-one needs that. It's good you have genuine friends that have your back. Go to the party and hold your head high - you have done nothing wrong. Good luck.

Woah I can’t believe this has carried on like this!! I read the first OP last week and was shocked but then I forgot to follow the thread. I’m sitting here completely agog at CFF

🍿

Mumsnet Hive Mind is with you in spirit, OP.

Ha ha good on you Unreasonable, she has already burned her bridges, what makes her think you want to make it up to her, you have already seen how she is like, I would not want to be friends with somebody like that.

If she has seen other people pay for Op though-what is that to her?

Exactly diddl - nobody else's business but the people involved.

Unreasonable - I can see why you are dreading this, but trust me - the thought of it is MUCH worse than the reality will be.

You are prepared for her batshit behaviour, you have a supportive group of friends - and it is obvious by the way that she is trying to engage with you that she knows she is at risk of everyone knowing what a gaslight she is. As a PP has said - she wants to arrive with you so that everyone will think that they've either got hold of the wrong end of the stick about the trouble she's caused, OR that you have admitted your grievous fault and she has magnanimously forgiven you.

Ignoring her is the way to go. Block her if necessary so that you aren't bothered by her constant messaging.

In 24 hours this will all be in the past, you and your DC will have had a lovely time and she will be a twitching wreck.

Now . . . . did someone mention CAKE?

Have been with you since the start and only just found the new thread!!

Hope it goes well.

but then you don't get the MN messages if it's shut down.

Yes you do, if you click "Watch this thread". You can also bookmark where you are in the thread, so there's no need to placemark.

OP, I hope you have a lovely lunch with true friends, and enjoy the party.

Imagine if we knew where the party was and just showed up, an army of mumsnetters, all ages and walks of life, just to support OP and makesure Softzilla knew she was being fucking unreasonable.

Fuck you Softzilla!

I am slightly sniggering at the lunch invite.......as It's her invite, I'd be going, ordering the most expensive items on the menu, and then sitting back wide eyed and waiting for the bill to be paid. After all she did invite you........😁😁😁 anyway. Have fun, enjoy lunch with your actual friends, be polite and minimally engaging at the do, and move on with life.........after the update obviously. I'd appreciate it I feel you didn't move on before then......

Didn't party mum invite people to join her after the party for food?

But now party mum is having lunch first?

What will happen when softzilla realised that the after party isn't happening and she's not getting a free lunch

Am biting finger nails with the suspense...

Ok so, what time is the party then?

blatant-placemarking

Select the ‘straight thru to voicemail’ option for her number.

Then you don’t need to be bothered by having to ignore the calls. The phone will do it for you.

This is beginning to sound very playground from both of you now.

I totally get she has behaved terribly at the softplay.

Getting your troops together before the party to talk about softzilla and show a united front walking in together is undignified and really unnecessary, there is no need for grown woman to gang up like that.

It is also childish to not answering the phone to at least hear if she is calling to apologise before the party, this would be the mature thing to do to try to ensure there isn't a scene at the child's party.

Ok, she lit the fire, but there is no need for you and your cronies to continue fan the flames and make this into an unnecessary drama.

Wish I could be a fly on the wall for this one!!!

but then you don't get the MN messages if it's shut down.

Yes you do, if you click "Watch this thread". You can also bookmark where you are in the thread, so there's no need to placemark.

This never works for me.

Man this woman calls you A LOT! Good luck OP.