Noisy church

[DoctorWhatTheFuck]

I went to church this week for the first time in years for a christening, which was during the normal service.

OMG the noise.

There were children crying and not being taken out. Some eating loudly. Some whining. Some talking in their normal voices. Some running around. It added up to the priest actually having to shout to be barely heard.

Can’t people teach children to sit quietly for an hour? It was certainly not like this at church when I was growing up.

Even if you are not religious, it is clear that it is a quiet environment, not a soft play area.

It’s clear these children know there will be no consequences for playing silly buggers. I don’t mean hitting them, I mean a 7 yo knowing he won’t get to play on the wii when he gets home if he keeps it up. Even a toddler can be entertained to sit quietly, and as a parent you inconvenience yourself by taking a crying child out rather than inconvenience everyone else with the noise.

What the actual fuck is going on with parenting!

Is it a Catholic Church? They let kids away with bloody anything these days out of guilt for all the kiddy fiddling.

Back when I was 6/7 or so all the under 10s just went to Sunday school instead

How nice, Mighty.

I think there is a huge difference between a general hubbub of noise. Kids chattering but basically fairly quiet, mostly sitting down or at least still (ish) near their parents and a chaotic free for all.
What the op described in her op sounds more like the latter - Ive only ever experience the former in family services attended by regulars.

Surely taking out a preschooler for playing up just encourages them to play up every week when they're bored because they know they'll get to go out.

I take my 3 and 1yos to church most weeks and its a bloody slog trying to make them behave appropriately (but I do try!) And I think that learning that there are places where you have to sit still and quietly is good for them.

I don't know what my own point is

Mighty that’s just horrible.

I think there has to be a balance and surely Family Church is about giving kids the opportunity to learn how to be in church at a child friendly rate rather than a religious soft play centre?

This makes sense to me.

To families who attend family services, how do your children transition into "adult" or "regulars" church? Do you start taking them alone?

Also, do many churches not have crèches and/or Sunday school?

It’s true though. DH goes to Catholic Church with the kids, it’s all very hands off and let them be kids these days. The days when priests used to scare the bejaysus out of little kids is long gone.

Op, I think you'll find saying "Fuck" as per your user name is frowned upon in church.

Golden I’m so confused by your post. You seem to really dislike your Church and Church in general as you’re concerned about children or vulnerable people being ‘enticed’ into one.

Why then do you attend church?

FWIW my family is bustling with kids, as I said upthread we have 80-90 regular young people and it’s growing rapidly. Couldn’t be happier about it. I can’t inagine hoping that children don’t go.

*family I meant Church. To be fair I consider my Church family so it’s not too bad of a typo!

My brief experience was that during the Sunday service, children were posted off to the vestry for 'Sunday school' with weak lemon drink in beakers, overseen by a couple of girl guides.

Say fuck all you like. I do. Not so much in church.

Seems particular to the church. Though many have children go out for part of the service for their own instruction.

Worth saying something to the vicar or priest.

Children can be trained to stay quiet in church for an hour, yes. The trouble is it's insanely boring for them and they grow up hating church and vote with their feet as soon as they can. So many churches prefer to let children relax a little and have a positive experience of church. That said, there's a balance to be struck.... dd will potter quietly at the back but knows not to talk in a loud voice, run or go to the front (unless it's part of the service) it works well for us.

Golden, it just struck me as odd that the op is pretty cat's bum face about noise in church- children should be seen and not heard - and then she has a comedy sweary username.

My user name has fuck.
On mumsnet the word is not filtered and I say fuck fuckity fuck all the day long.
It is not appropriate to say fuck; in church, at ASDA, at work, at school...

It’s almost as if different environments have behaviour appropriate to those environments. I love children playing Tarzan in the park. Not at weddings or in church...

But, op, you never go to church.

Golden, I too am confused by your post. You seem to not like it very much, why do you go?

Op, maybe the particular denomination you went to didn't suit you. I once attended a Russian Orthodox service which was pretty somber. Happy to be told by those who regularly attend Orthodox services that this isn't always the case.