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In not really liking my mum singing Christian songs to my baby?

159 replies

theUrbanDryad · 11/05/2007 12:45

I probably am being unreasonable, but i hate the way my mum sings Christian songs to my baby. he's only 4 months, so unlikely to be indoctrinated anytime soon, but i have made it clear to her on a couple of occasions that we won't be bringing up ds in a Christian faith or in any religion at all.

the problem is that by her own admission, she is on a "mission" to convert people. which includes me, dh and ds. i grew up really resenting my strict Christian upbringing and i don't want ds to do the same, especially since neither me or dh are Christian. also, when i realised how much of a swizz the whole Christianity thing was (when i was about 16) it took me a long time to trust other things my mum said, as after all if she was wrong on this major thing, she could easliy be wrong in other things too. i want ds to trust his grandmother and not have his childhood troubled like mine was.

dh and i have already agreed that if he wants to find out about religion when he's older then we will be fine with that, but i would like him to do it on his own terms, and not have it rammed down his throat from birth, however lovingly.

OP posts:

singingmum · 11/05/2007 12:48

I wouldn't worry.My parents are JW's and I had same worry.I am now however ok with it as they only show my DC's what I agree to and then I sit with them and tell them about how religion is a choice and that when they are older and can learn about and make decisions on religion then they can chose for themselves.
It works out in the end as remember that your childs main influences are you and your dh.


themildmanneredjanitor · 11/05/2007 12:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 11/05/2007 12:50


get oevr it


Taylormama · 11/05/2007 12:50

yep - you are. Babies love singing of the christian or non-christian variety and it is nice that his gran sings to him. As you say he is way too young to be indoctrinated ...


vimfuego · 11/05/2007 12:51



LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 11/05/2007 12:51

lol at chillax


FrannyandZooey · 11/05/2007 12:53


of course it isn't ok for anyone to indoctrinate your ds against your beliefs

there are plenty of songs in the world without Christian words

I suggest you learn a few Satanist songs and sing them cheerily to her


LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 11/05/2007 12:53

lol at inbdoctirnate a baby


Ellbell · 11/05/2007 12:54

Not totally relevant to the thread (FWIW, I think YAB a bit U - a few songs won't harm him, though it does sound as if your mum knows it'll wind you up...), but reminded me that my MIL always kisses my dds goodnight saying: 'Goodnight, God bless'. One day dd2 (who was about 2.5-ish at the time, and obviously hadn't picked up exactly what MIL had said) replied 'Goodnight. Cobblers'! Luckily MIL is a bit deaf!


Swizzler · 11/05/2007 12:54

Hmm, if you exclude all religious music and literature from his upbringing he'll be missing out on a lot. Surely part of letting your child make his own choices is giving him the info in the first place?

If it's an aesthetic issue and she's singing Lord of the Dance you're not being unreasonable at all


LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 11/05/2007 12:55

yes bet youd let him have all sorts of other cultural infulences
south american pan pipes
"eek my baby is indoctirnates by pan pipes"


Swizzler · 11/05/2007 12:56

Franny: would you bar the St Matthew Passion on the same criteria? Or Paradise Lost? Where do you draw the line here?

Of course if she's singing songs about stamping on the heathen you might have other issues


Taylormama · 11/05/2007 12:56

tbh my tuneless shrieking (ie singing) will probably scar DS for life - i cannot carry a tune in a bucket


rowan1971 · 11/05/2007 12:57

I don't think YABU - my mil is a fervent Christian and regularly warbles hymns at my two. She is also a monarchist - caught her telling my ds1 that Oliver Cromwell was the most evil man in British history the other day . Her dad was a South African, and the one thing I did tell her to stop singing to my two was a lullaby containing the word 'kaffir'!

However, I've decided to hang back on the whole issue. As others have said, at least your mum is trying to be a good granny. You and your DP will have much more influence over the child than she will. As your baby grows up, you can decide if you find something really out of order, and tell her to knock off specific things if you feel really strongly about them.


LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 11/05/2007 12:57

oh yes
no hallelujah chorus

no englush history
no local churhces looing pweetty till someone wants to shut them then everyone gets laluppity


divastrop · 11/05/2007 12:57

i dont think you're being unreasonable atall,the words of the song could be influensing your baby subliminally.if i were you i would ask her to sing only nursery rhymes or such.


PrettyCandles · 11/05/2007 12:58

Being myself Jewish, in a mixed marriage and bringin our children up as Jews, I would have flet like you once. But now that my eldest is at school, in a mainstream UK school, learning about Easter and Christams etc, and singin g songs about how Jesus gives us the rain etc etc etc, I've had to learn to chill about it. If it matters so much to you (and I'm not mocking, because it does matter so much to me) then it's up to you to use your home influence to counteract what you don't believe in.

IMO it's more important that granny sings to him at all, than that she doesn't sing Christian songs to him.


yaddayah · 11/05/2007 12:59

You are not unreasonable

my mum secretly "baptised" my ds with bathwater(then aged about 3 months) .. she confessed it about 2 years later, she'd pre planned it.. spoken to her vicar who (perhaps thinking she was barmy) said that in the eyes of god it was a perfectly reasonable thing to do.. its a very scary path.. one moment humming Onward Christian Soldiers .. the next a dunk in Johnsons baby

You need to talk to your mum !


DimpledThighs · 11/05/2007 12:59

most certainly Y NOT ABU!!!

I would discuss this now as the longer you leave it the harder it will be.

I know a Jewish family and they find it hard.


LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 11/05/2007 12:59

IMO it's more important that granny sings to him at all, than that she doesn't sing Christian songs to him.


LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 11/05/2007 12:59

id mnto goive a toss if a jewish owman sung jewish songs to my baby

" mum in anti smeitic attack"


LucyJones · 11/05/2007 13:01

Franny - I would love to know how you can indoctrinate a 4 month old by singing to it


rowan1971 · 11/05/2007 13:01

oooh, yaddayah, I suspect my mil of something very similar (DIY baptising)!However, she really believes that she has saved their immortal souls. I, on the other hand, believe that she has pointlessly fiddled about with some water, so generally regard it as no skin off my nose.


Swizzler · 11/05/2007 13:01

DH's (eccentric) uncle baptised a load of cousins in their kitchen sa one of his sisters had decided against it ... she was rather cross...

App if a catholic you can do it under the kitchen tap.


Swizzler · 11/05/2007 13:03

Wouldn't worry if uncle cam near DS with a cup of water - he's likely get bitten

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