In not really liking my mum singing Christian songs to my baby?

[theUrbanDryad]

I probably am being unreasonable, but i hate the way my mum sings Christian songs to my baby. he's only 4 months, so unlikely to be indoctrinated anytime soon, but i have made it clear to her on a couple of occasions that we won't be bringing up ds in a Christian faith or in any religion at all.

the problem is that by her own admission, she is on a "mission" to convert people. which includes me, dh and ds. i grew up really resenting my strict Christian upbringing and i don't want ds to do the same, especially since neither me or dh are Christian. also, when i realised how much of a swizz the whole Christianity thing was (when i was about 16) it took me a long time to trust other things my mum said, as after all if she was wrong on this major thing, she could easliy be wrong in other things too. i want ds to trust his grandmother and not have his childhood troubled like mine was.

dh and i have already agreed that if he wants to find out about religion when he's older then we will be fine with that, but i would like him to do it on his own terms, and not have it rammed down his throat from birth, however lovingly.

UrbanDryad - did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Satan?

Forty, think that should read 'Santa'.

I used to sing mine to sleep with the old classic "I'll sing you one-oh, Red fly the banners-oh,What is your one-oh? One is workers unity and ever more shall be so!" And so on. Dc's loved it, and we still sing it in the car sometimes!

The Internationale makes a good travelling song too!

katelyle - i sing "i'll give you one-oh, green grow the rushes-o, what is your one-o? one is one and all alone, and shall be ever more so"

do you sing billy bragg to them as well??

Just got back from church and thought of this thread as I picked up a cracking tune to sing to dd! (not a Christian myself but enjoy the spiritual break from the rat race)

Of course, you are well within your rights to challenge your MIL but as someone already said, pick your fights.

This particular one you will win without lifting a finger:
I doubt any amount of Christian chanting to a baby will immunise him against the dominant ?religion? of our age ? capitalist consumerism ?
which your son will encounter everywhere he looks.

It has been said so many times before but as parents (let alone grandparents) we overestimate our influence, I think.

fluffy, come on. Even though it's not sung any more, you wouldn't be particularly enthusiastic as a scot to sing a song with that sort of original sentiment.

We sing 'waiting for the great leap forwards' in the car...

my dad [a priest] sings this one to ds

Oliver Cromwell lies buried and dead
Hey Ho buried and dead.
They grew an old apple tree over his head.
Hey ho over his head.
The apples were ripe and ready to fall
Hey ho ready to fall
There came an old woman to gather them all
Hey ho gather them all
Oliver rose and gave her a chop.
Hey ho gave her a chop
Which made the old woman go hippety hop
Hey ho hippety hop
the saddle and bridle they lie on the shelf
Hey ho lie on the shelf
If you want any more you can sing it yourself.
Hey ho sing it yourself.

He also sings it half cut in the pub on folk nights...[my dad not ds]

My FIL sings this one

I did ask him not to, last time, but he is bonkers and forgets

now there i would draw the line Franny!

I know! It has got a cracking melody and singalong chorus and he gets carried away, I think. He is folk musician and knows 3000 trad songs - 75% of which seem totally unsuitable for children

yes you are being unreasonable. do you seriously think that you can stop your child hearing or reading about anything you personally disapprove of until he is "older"? Are you going to ban him from watching TV or going to nursery or school?

Ruty - your dad sounds pretty cool

Occasionally Tnogu!
i know Franny - I had to stop my dad singing 'on Ilkley Moor Bar Tat' to ds because it makes me shudder...

With all due respect to the granny involved, I invite you to think of how you would go about making your child see Christianity as a bad thing.
It's years before you can use the lack of evidence for Jesus actually existing, or the horrors of religiously inspired wars from the Crusades to Bush.
A simple, easy way to make kids think of something as "sad" is to associate it with really old people, who aren't celebrities, and maybe even babyish.
IE you'd want religion to be associated with your mum.

ok - i have admitted i'm being unreasonable btw, for all of you that missed that point

"A simple, easy way to make kids think of something as "sad" is to associate it with really old people, who aren't celebrities"

yes DC, thats a great idea! If you want to teach your child a set of values that looks down on those who are old and not "famous". You could encourage them to despise black people, Jews or disabled people as well

no urban - not unreasonable at all. my mil is very religious and i have sent messages thro' dh that my son will not be brainwashed into any kind of religion, i don't care how old. my niece has a catholic mother and i have often heard her say this or that about Jesus Christ or singing hymns (she goes to a Catholic school) which always makes me quite sad, beacuse i am certain she doesn't really understand any of it, esp. once when i heard her talk about "sin" (yeh, right, as though a 9 year old understands sin !!)

so, yes, keep religion away please, we will get to it when they are old enough to choose !

But when they are old enough to choose, how will they know what they are choosing if they have been allowed no contact with it?

Sheesh, loosen the grip on your children

i wouldn't allow songs re. satan or santa, we don't devil worship nor make a big song and dance about xmas, so i guess ds will have an exceptionally boring childhood being told things as they really are

ah but pointy, he is going to get contact re. religions at school, he doesn't need to be taken to church every sunday and told bible stories at age 3 which is what MIL wants to do !

my father was an atheist, hated preachers and all religions with a passion, but somehow i managed to read the bible, old and new twice and was very curious about all religions right thro' school until i became a communist aged 13 - does that mean i should be teaching ds about communism NOW (he is 3) incases he misses out on it and won't be able to choose later on ?

Thought you meant keeping it away altogether, yellow. You just mean not introducing it to the mix yourself

no pointy, i am an atheist, dh believes in god, but does not follow any religion, so it would seem a bit fake if we talked about religion at home, i don't wish to keep ds away from anything, apart may be from gambling, drugs and wars, other than that, he is free to choose political inclinations or religious beliefs

yes, yellow, you've managed to put it a lot more eloquently than me. i don't want the religion thing to be introduced NOW. he will have religious education at school and of course i will endevour to answer questions that he might have. i just think that introducing religion at such an early age means that he starts off on an unequal footing with regards to understanding and comparing religion.

i can certainly remember being in an RE lesson aged about 10 and wondering why the fact that God created the world was even up for discussion, as in my mind it was absolute truth. i'd rather my ds learned to question things more than i did.

sorry pointy meant "yes" in agreement to your last post, not "no" !!