Just told my 5 month old to fuck off

[notgotthis]

I feel like the absolute worst mum in the world. I'm at the end of my rope, I have a nightmare 2 year old and a 5 month old who won't nap and fights sleep all night too.

I just feel like I'm drowning and I can't do it any longer.
Making lunch for ds1, ds2 screaming because he's overtired, trying to do the dishes and put a wash on and I just snapped and shouted at him to fuck off. I'm not fit to be a mother.

Totally agree with pp. It’s bloody tough with young DC and you are a human.

Oh, and sleep deprivation is classed as a form of torture, just not when it’s caused by a baby/toddler.

Sod the housework, have a and try to get outside for some fresh air.

We've all been there. You aren't terrible at all.

There is a reason that the book 'Go The Fuck to Sleep' is an international bestseller.

You are not a terrible mum. You're really not. You're exhausted because you're a good mum.
Leave the chores and sit down for a few minutes with Samuel L Jackson.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=Udj-o2m39NA

You poor thing. I remember melting down when my oldest was six months old, I was beside myself with exhaustion and despair at her crying. She survived, I survived, we all survived. She's a mum herself now. Please take care of yourself as well as your children, take time out if you can even if it's just five minutes with your head out of the window not listening to them; they'll be ok.

Don't beat yourself up. We've all been there.

When I was at that point, my mother told me of the time when I was a baby and she had to lock the windows as the urge to throw me out was so strong.

DD1 was a poor sleeper so you have my sympathies. I used to stroke her eyes shut and my DH was known to physical hold her down in the cot to stop her standing up when she was being particularly stubborn. A sling helped a bit and then we tried controlled crying. It's not easy but we stayed strong and it did work for us.

You need to get an hour or 2 away from the DC. Tell your DH how desperate you are for a break - he needs to step up and look after you.

Yep, we have all done shouty things when exhausted. [embarrassed]
Sod the mess. Try and get a bit of a break if it is possible

Op, you definitely aren't alone.

I cried and told my baby to "just fucking go to sleep, I'm tired".

Sleep deprivation really affects you.

That's nothing, OP - I sometimes find myself telling my dd1 to fuck off and she is 16 .

You aren't a bad mum - a bad mum would be the one who hits and bullies her children. A good mum is one who, exhausted and at the end of her tether with little and demanding dc, shouts a word to let off some steam which the dc will never, ever remember. Don't sweat the small stuff.

You’re not alone. My baby was 3 months and I told her to shut the fuck up. She cried all the time (colic), she was a twin so I barely slept anyway. I remember feeling horrendous and thinking maybe I should confess to a dr or social services or something. I didn’t, she’s 2 and we love each other very much. Now I just swear at her under my breath

have you tried sing-swearing? therapeutic and calming

The baby won't bat an eyelid but the 2yo ..... (they are little sponges when you don't want them to listen )

We still blush at DS (now 18yo and AFAIK , unscathed) wandered down the beer aisle saying "Oh bugger" in his quaint little voice (he was 3 )

When I was at that point, my mother told me of the time when I was a baby and she had to lock the windows as the urge to throw me out was so strong.

teehee I knew a really calm, laid-back man whose mother told him that she was so desperate for a sleep when he was a baby that, as she was wheeling him in a buggy across a bridge she seriously considered throwing him in.

My worst moment of shame came when I was changing my baby - can't remember what age she was. She was bf, and had had colic non-stop from the minute she was born, non-stop crying. As I changed her nappy her foot shot out and kicked me really hard on the front of the throat. Before I knew what I was doing I'd smacked her bottom :( :( :( The shame.

Yep I've done this too. 7 month old dd has started screaming herself to sleep. Every time. Without fail. It drives me insane. I shouted at her and felt terribly guilty. I left her in her moses basket when she was about a month old and just sat on the floor and cried and cried and cried. Its hard when you don't have a lot of support. My dh works a lot so I have to do the lions share of the work. Its hard and he understands. He's never made me feel crap for it. Don't let the guilt eat at you. Your baby will love you no matter what

I think only people with a nanny or complete serene earth Mother’s have never done this.
Give your self a break, fuck the laundry. Can you put him in a sling while you cook?
It’s tough, really tough, but it does pass

i agree that everyone reaches the end of their tether sometimes. However I read an almost identical post by a tired father and the universal opinion from other posters was to kick him out.
Ask someone for help. Its scary feeling that you have lost control

We've all been there and all done it. Even if some won't admit it!

It's exhausting being a parent. It's stressful and unforgiving and relentless. Sometimes we snap.

Of course it's not ideal, but you know that hence feeling so shit about it. However of we did an anonymous poll, 99.9% of parents would admit to shouting and or swearing at their child at least once in their first year (let alone when they become toddlers with selective hearing!).

You are doing a great job.

I'm not fit to be a mother Wrong,mothers who feel no guilt for .losing it at times maybe aren't fit for it not you.You're just tired and frustrated and need a break or just a friendly ear.

mrsmuddlepies stop hyperbolising - the OP feels bad enough as it is. She is exhausted and said 'fuck off'. She didn't plant a bomb ffs.

My OH is at work but I'm glad as its more stressful when he's here. He's no help with the baby at all.

My friends all live too far away to see regularly and I don't have a car. The only help I have is OH mum and dad but they both work and like their weekends. I feel like a burden on them.

I'm just so sad for ds1 I have no time to play with him, I'm always telling him off for being noisy when I'm trying to get baby to sleep. He grabs my hand and wants to play when I'm trying to feed the baby and gets upset when I don't go where he wants.

Then I feel guilty that I'm so crap and cranky with ds2 when all he's doing is being a baby. Nobody is getting the best of me, I don't even feel like I have an identity anymore.

"I feel like the absolute worst mum in the world"

Please pace yourself!!! Motherhood lasts for decades and if you feel this bad now, you'll be suicidal by the end!

If it helps, I hated my children until they were 4 and 6 years old. The baby/toddler years truly suck!!! My children are now 5 and 7 years old and I love them dearly! They are toilet trained, they communicate clearly (most of the time), and you can reason with them. Long may it last!

You are not a bad mum! You’re just at the end of your rope. Agree with pps. Try and catch a breather, if you can and go easy on yourself. Babies are bloody hard work.

Op...theres not a single honest mum who hasnt said that or worse whilst suffering from lack of sleep. Saying that released your energy. Hes 5 months he never know. Hugs op have you any local friends xxx

I shouted back, scarily, at baby ds when he was under a year old and screaming for his food. I just really, really couldn’t take the screaming any more. He was in his high chair roaring and I roared right back at him and watched his eyes widen in alarm. Then I dumped all the cauliflower purée onto the kitchen floor, and lay down and sobbed.

I still feel absolutely awful about this , and he’s now ten! But he seems to have forgotten.

You are not an unfit parent. You were just overwhelmed.

He won’t have a clue what you’ve said. You’re frazzled! Give yourself a break

I have done so many things I am not proud of when sleep deprived - so embarrassed I won't recount them even on an anonymous forum.

I haven't RTFT however what I have read is universal support, as it should be.

You have three small kids and it's been the Easter holidays - this time of year is hard and intense.

Dr Trooperslane prescribes and a big cry in the bath if you can - as soon as you can.