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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wonder why other drivers think they can bully you?!

272 replies

guiltynetter · 06/04/2018 22:22

i need a rant!

Driving home down a major motorway a few weeks ago, there are temporary speed cameras and a 50mph speed limit all the way down it. it’s been like this for quite a long time, so it’s not a new thing. A car behind me was driving right up to my bumper and intermittently flashing me, presumably telling me to speed up (even though i was driving at probably just over 50) i ignored but felt really angry and just thought...what a dick head.

Driving down the same motorway tonight (my friend driving this time) exact same situation! a lorry this time, driving along flashing us, when we ignored him he eventually undertook in the slow lane.

I just don’t understand, how you can have the nerve to flash another driver when they’re going the speed limit, and also, to be arrogant enough to think that the other driver is going to think ‘oh no, somebody is flashing me, i better speed up!’

Am i missing something here? Do you not need to stick to the speed limits on motorways with temporary speed limits?!

OP posts:
Imsosceptical · 07/04/2018 16:26

And you think it wasn’t his fault....so I’ve never had a panic attack in my life until he drove up my arse, flashed and flashed then cut me up, but it wasn’t his fault....not really understanding your logic here....and I was within the speed limit and pretty content driving along...strange how you think, keep the nutters on the road, theyre ok and least likely to cause an accident......

MadMags · 07/04/2018 16:31

In fairness @Imsosceptical I’ve been tailgated and it hasn’t resulted in panic attacks, so I’m not sure you can blame the other driver, even if he was a bit of a dick.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 07/04/2018 16:34

Your reaction was incredibly extreme though. Most people would just go, “ergh, stupid cunt” and that would be it.

italiancortado · 07/04/2018 16:37

Have you checked your brake and tail lights recently?

LakieLady · 07/04/2018 16:40

*When people drive up my arse, I go as slow as poss.

Gives me great pleasure, holding the cunts up. grin*

My mate's husband is a police driving instructor. His advice for dealing with tailgaters is to slow down every now and then but without braking, ie just by easing off the gas or using engine braking. The theory is that when they suddenly find themselves nearly on your bumper without any warning, they back off.

I have tried this several times and it seems to work, but I did get shouted at by some chavvy tart young lady when she subsequently pulled alongside me at a set of lights.

Imsosceptical · 07/04/2018 16:40

Madmags, I agree, I have also been tailgated quite a few times and coped very well. unfortunately this was a unique experience that had long lasting effects, if I felt for a moment I want safe to drive I wouldn’t, But I’m simply avoiding a bridge that I don’t really need to cross, it’s just a short cut. I’m simply making the point that idiots on the road to put other peoples lives at risk, mine was a panic attack that I quickly addressed by pulling off at the next junction and taking time to calm down. The overriding issue is the idiots that do not adhere to the speed limits and cut in and out of traffic regardless, in this instance in pitch black night so I feel you’re being unfair levelling this one on me.

swingofthings · 07/04/2018 16:44

So you had a bad experience driving. I did too not long ago when someone decided to pass a car except he had misjudged the distant and if it wasn't for the fact that I saw him coming and drove off in the ditch, he would have hit me full on. Believe me, much worse experience than being flashed from the back. It took me a bit of time to recover but I moved on and still drive this road regularly.

You said yourself that you were a nervy driver. No offence to you but nervy drivers are those who scare me the most as most likely to do something totally unpredictable (like brake when there is nothing in front of them).

Imsosceptical · 07/04/2018 16:45

I love mumsnet beacause overall there are some lovely people on here with valid comments worth interacting with, but by gawd, there are some pretty nasty, and overall saddos who feel so powerful behind their keyboards and anonymity with there unwanted p, irrelevant and pathetic opinions, some of you really need to get out and get a life xxxxxx

swingofthings · 07/04/2018 16:46

And it is concerning that you say that you had a panic attack the following day half way up the bridge but continued to drive until the next junction. You were not a safe driver then if that's the case.

MadMags · 07/04/2018 16:47

I’m not “levelling this one” on you. I’m saying that your reaction isn’t usual or normal and therefore can’t be his fault. You could have just as easily thought “what a dick” and gone on your way.

If you’re a nervy driver, that’s unfortunate but again not anybody else’s fault!

RepealMay25th · 07/04/2018 16:48

but by gawd, there are some pretty nasty, and overall saddos who feel so powerful behind their keyboards and anonymity with there unwanted p, irrelevant and pathetic opinions, some of you really need to get out and get a life

You should be nicer about yourself. youre not that bad, surely?

swingofthings · 07/04/2018 16:49

Don't post things that are clearly concerning and then expect people to feel sorry for you. I hate to think that my DD who has just started to drive could end up next to someone having a panic attack but judging it acceptable to continue driving. Can't you see how bad that is? You should have stopped there and then, not continue to the next junction. Hopefully, you were exaggerating and what you were experiencing wasn't a panic attack.

MadMags · 07/04/2018 16:49

but by gawd, there are some pretty nasty, and overall saddos who feel so powerful behind their keyboards and anonymity with there unwanted p, irrelevant and pathetic opinions, some of you really need to get out and get a life xxxxxx

Confused are you a bit prone to dramatics?!

Imsosceptical · 07/04/2018 16:54

Ok, in future I will weave in and out. Of traffic like a maniac, it’s the safest driving approach! I’m not nervy, wrong choice of words here, just driven a round trip of 1200k towing a trailer 20% of your which was on 4WD tracks but hey ho, you know best.

I was simply trying to emphasis to drivers how their arrogant and illegal driving can actually affect others who are otherwise very sensible and law abiding drives, you have clearly missed the point I was making.

Imsosceptical · 07/04/2018 16:55

Not prone to dramatics at all, just very intolerant of ignorant people xxxxxxx

Imsosceptical · 07/04/2018 16:56

Repealmay25th, you’re so funny, did I touch a nerve🤭🤭

RepealMay25th · 07/04/2018 16:58

Nope. I don't have any.

swingofthings · 07/04/2018 17:00

The point is don't accuse others of driving dangerously when you do so yourself. He clearly didn't think his actions were going to caused an accident any more than you considered that it might be unsafe to drive somewhere you knew could trigger a panic attack on your own.

Your judgement was as bad if not worse than the person you are accusing.

swingofthings · 07/04/2018 17:03

And you might not live in this country, but in the UK, you are expected to report a diagnosis of anxiety, especially with panic attacks. You could be fine £1,000 for not doing so.

You might want to check, maybe similar rules apply in your country.

Imsosceptical · 07/04/2018 17:07

Not Engaging any further, you have completely missed the point, go and find another thread you can throw your weight around participate in your keyboard bullying, it’s so easy to attack people you know nothing about from the safety of your anonymous life, I’m sure it makes you feel very self satisfied and proud, unfortulpnately it’s just social media bullying and you should feel ashamed xxxxxxxxx

NotUmbongoUnchained · 07/04/2018 17:11

You clearly don’t have the right temperament for driving.... or much.

Mookatron · 07/04/2018 17:16

Tailgating is dangerous.

Undertaking is dangerous.

Driving in the middle lane is not. Maybe it's annoying but that's not the same thing.

And before anybody says 'it makes other people drive dangerously' no it doesn't, they do. Everybody seems to turn into Jeremy Twatson behind the wheel.

Jobjobjob · 07/04/2018 17:36

He overtook in the slow lane??

Where is the slow lane on a motorway? I drive on the motorway everyday and have never seen a slow lane.

Mookatron · 07/04/2018 17:46

I know you can be prosecuted for 'lane hogging' but it is still irritating rather than dangerous driving.