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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why other drivers think they can bully you?!

272 replies

guiltynetter · 06/04/2018 22:22

i need a rant!

Driving home down a major motorway a few weeks ago, there are temporary speed cameras and a 50mph speed limit all the way down it. it’s been like this for quite a long time, so it’s not a new thing. A car behind me was driving right up to my bumper and intermittently flashing me, presumably telling me to speed up (even though i was driving at probably just over 50) i ignored but felt really angry and just thought...what a dick head.

Driving down the same motorway tonight (my friend driving this time) exact same situation! a lorry this time, driving along flashing us, when we ignored him he eventually undertook in the slow lane.

I just don’t understand, how you can have the nerve to flash another driver when they’re going the speed limit, and also, to be arrogant enough to think that the other driver is going to think ‘oh no, somebody is flashing me, i better speed up!’

Am i missing something here? Do you not need to stick to the speed limits on motorways with temporary speed limits?!

OP posts:
Jobjobjob · 07/04/2018 21:03

@italiancortado , honestly I'm sorry!

italiancortado · 07/04/2018 21:03

You're confused??? I don't doubt it!

Not as confused as you it seems!

The worst part of it is that my comment was actually in response to a stupid comment aimed at YOU

italiancortado · 07/04/2018 21:04

Thank you.

Cross post!

Jobjobjob · 07/04/2018 21:04

Can we share wine in the overtaking lane? 🍷

PoorYorick · 07/04/2018 21:05

This is why MN needs a proper threading system. I can't believe it's still got this layout.

italiancortado · 07/04/2018 21:05

Drinking and driving WineWinklets do it!!

Jobjobjob · 07/04/2018 21:06

@italiancortado , OMG that's a whole different thread!!!!

ToothyMcPuthy · 07/04/2018 21:11

Apologies Italian Blush

5plusMeAndHim · 07/04/2018 21:13

when lorries overtake one another, they flash the passing lorry in to let them know they are clear.They sometimes do it to cars too- it is not an aggressive thing at all it is supposed to be helpful.

italiancortado · 07/04/2018 21:13

It's fine Grin

MinnieMousse · 07/04/2018 21:25

Why do so many people think it's not necessary to stick to the indicated speed limit? It is there for a reason. I see so many people speeding through roadworks sections of motorways where it is clearly indicated that there is a workforce in the road, or when there are signs up about an obstruction in the road. As if their desire to arrive at their destination two minutes earlier trumps the safety of everyone else.

And doubtless there are many good and safe lorry drivers out there, but I drive on the motorway a lot and at least once every journey I see a lorry driver driving within a couple of feet of the vehicle in front, with no stopping distance at all. The worst accidents on motorways nearly always involve a lorry.

LimonViola · 08/04/2018 07:27

Okay I'm gonna get flamed here but I'm genuinely curious... before I start, on motorways I do always stick to the left hand lane, unless it's super busy and the left is slow and then it seems safer to stay in the middle until the left is clear again. I know that's technically wrong. But...

Ever since I've been driving, every single person I've spoken to has had the same perception as me about how motorways work:

Left hand lane: lorries and pensioners
Second lane: normal drivers
Third lane: dickheads speeding

And barely anyone I know does actually spend all of that time weaving in and out of lanes, which seems way more dangerous to me (I have nothing to back that up) than just staying in one lane for a while.

Left hand lane, unless it's empty, is invariably just lorries or people going at 60 so it makes no sense to be in there. So in practice you just use the second lane and the third for overtaking.

Now I know on MN that's a sin of the highest order but I have to know... does anyone else see it the same? I feel like I'm in a parallel universe on here with motorway driving.

0hCrepe · 08/04/2018 07:34

If the left hand lane is full of lorries and cars at 60 you’d use the middle lane to overtake them all and could be there a while until you moved back to the left. When you’re in the left on a clear stretch and someone’s driving in the middle lane at just under 70 you have to slow down, cross 2 lanes to get past them and then back again to get to the left lane. I’ve experienced this on near empty motorways, it’s so annoying. I’d never ever call it the slow lane.

LimonViola · 08/04/2018 07:38

Thanks. That makes sense. I drive a lot on motorways and during quiet times it's fine to use the left but busier ones it's impossible for loads of time so effectively you end up in the middle for miles, which is what confused me with PP, are you really supposed to dart back into the left at the first gap when you can clearly see ahead you'll have the same probably in another few hundred metres?

0hCrepe · 08/04/2018 07:45

depends on what the impact is on other drivers around you. If you’ve got past a large chunk of traffic going slower and there’s a gap before another chunk I would prob go left yes, depends how big the gap is and if you’d force another car to overtake you by staying in the middle. But if it’s a small gap and the left hand traffic is coming up quite quickly as it is slow and you’ve got a good gap between you and any car behind I’d probably stay there as moving could interrupt the flow.

0hCrepe · 08/04/2018 07:46

In the OP she was going slower than the cars behind with an empty left lane which she could have used as she was turning off, so disrupting the speed of other vehicles.

Daddystepdaddy · 08/04/2018 07:54

Often 50 speed limits through roadworks also ask drivers to stay in the lane they are in for the duration of the roadworks. This is to keep traffic moving as freely as possible at the lower speeds. 50 miles an hour is a difficult speed for Lorries as it often sits awkwardly on their gears so they often speed through 50 zones. This is not acceptable but often happens and why dickhead Lorry drivers often tailgate you through 50 zones.

Nottheduchessofcambridge · 08/04/2018 07:57

OP was leaving the motorway but she was in the overtaking lane of the filter lanes instead of being in the inside lane of the filter lanes where she should have been. Which is why the lorry undertook. Just move over next time and you won’t have anyone flashing or undertaking.

RoadToRivendell · 08/04/2018 08:00

i’ve given up on this thread as i’ve been told i was a middle lane hogger approximately 15 million times now 😂 i think perhaps i was, for around 5 minutes

More likely you've been driving like this for the duration of your driving career.

swingofthings · 08/04/2018 08:15

Now I know on MN that's a sin of the highest order but I have to know... does anyone else see it the same?
Less and less so since it has become against the law to hog the middle lane. Bad habits don't mean they are right, but that is exactly why people who know how to drive properly rather than how the lazy mass has taken to driving gets frustrated, it's not as much the fact that they don't drive following the rules, but that they have the attitude to act like they are the ones driving properly when they are clearly not.

If everyone drove following the highway code and how they must have driven when they passed their licence, there would be much fewer 'bullies' on the road.

LimonViola · 08/04/2018 08:31

swingofthings Well, motorway driving isn't a part of the driving test so I can absolutely see why people end up driving 'incorrectly' on motorways, especially if they're taken out on them by friends or relatives who also are experienced enough to just tell the new driver how it is in practice rather then read out the Highway Code.

I just always assumed it was one of those things where on paper everyone knows that it's supposed to be one way, but in practice everyone also knows that it's not the custom to drive like that on the roads. Kinda like how when you do a reverse round the corner in your test you're supposed to maintain a certain distance from the kerb the whole way round, but in reality once you've passed that's irrelevant as long as the coast is clear and you don't hit anyone or anything.

"Today 07:57 Nottheduchessofcambridge

OP was leaving the motorway but she was in the overtaking lane of the filter lanes instead of being in the inside lane of the filter lanes where she should have been. Which is why the lorry undertook. Just move over next time and you won’t have anyone flashing or undertaking"

If the filter two lanes lead shortly to a roundabout and you're taking the third exit, therefore needing to be in the right hand lane, isn't it therefore fine to remain in the right hand lane of the filter for the short stretch leading to the roundabout? That seems far safer to me than switching to the left hand and then back to the right just for the sake of it, on a potentially busy road, when people are slowing down rather than gaining speed anyway.

0hCrepe · 08/04/2018 08:35

She wouldnt have been switching for the sake of it though, she would have enabled the lorry to pass.

Daddystepdaddy · 08/04/2018 08:46

You don't need to let someone who is speeding overtake you if you are performing a legitimate manoeuvre. If I was pulling off the motorway and turning right on the roundabout I'd be in the right-hand lane to do this and the speeders can just wait.

0hCrepe · 08/04/2018 08:53

As I understand it the turning was 5 minutes away. ie 5 miles.

FranticallyPeaceful · 08/04/2018 09:03

Sounds like you were lane hogging. You need to pull over to the slowest lane, doesn’t matter what the speed limit is or anybody else - if you weren’t overtaking then keep left

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