To think if being "body positive" was promoting anorexia...

[Piglatin]

...everyone would be up in arms? Yet I see the phrase being used more and more on social media by obese women. I don't understand why being "thick", "curvy", "plus size", "voluptuous" are just other ways to avoid saying fat, yet if skeletal women were posting things about being "body positive" most people would see how damaging it is. Are we all meant to pretend that being unhealthily overweight is OK now?!

Its the scale with anorexia, my DD has anorexia she loses 3 stone from her ideal weight and she is housebound or hospitalised and loses anymore she will die. She gains three stone on top of ideal weight she will still be at school, still functioning and still living a life. Anorexia is like a high speed train it hits so quickly. It also has the problem that once critically underweight it effects cognitive reasoning as everything is just so hard.

Sounds tough, Boulshired.

Laurie Fairy Cake Completely agree. There was a copy of Best in the hairdressers today. and there was a weight loss story in there titled "From whale to wow"

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3205882-To-think-that-s-it-s-cheeky-as-fuck-to-expect-other-people-to-fund-your-skin-removal-surgery

I dont think anyone’s celebrating obesity.
I also think we’ve gotten so used to being told underweight is ideal we’ve forgotten what ‘healthy’ weight looks like. For example, I am a healthy weight 21.5 bmi & yet I feel this pressure to diet, to become thinner & I’m not the only one, most of my friends are the same. Isn’t that crazy? As pp has said no one is inspired to become overweight, so that doesn’t concern me.

"I'm not obese, but I am a size 14/16, have big calves and big thighs. Why anyone would want legs like mine I don't know, or consider them just 'curvy'. Have you ever tried to find boots for legs that are 18" wide that don't look ugly as hell? It's a nightmare. They don't exist! I can't wear boots and that sucks, I love boots. Hence why I am walking a lot and trying to lose weight. I'm not overly unhealthy, but can't deny I am not healthy or fit. I am always very envious of women who have slim legs"

i have this problem despite a 10 stone weight loss as lipodema runs in the family.

People who post this shit are just kidding themselves. No one can be obese and happy, well 100 percent happy.

And that, my friends, is exactly why body positivity is SO important. Your happiness should not depend on your weight, your dress size, or your BMI. EVERYONE is allowed to be happy. EVERYONE is allowed to live their best life. EVERYONE is allowed to be in love and be loved, to have fun, to wear great clothes, to go out, to do what makes them happy.

It's not healthy and shouldn't be promoted as healthy.
That's a different issue. Being obese does not necessarily make you unhealthy, but of course it makes you much more likely to suffer various health-related issues. However, body positivity is not about saying that obesity is healthy. It is about saying that health is a much wider issue and a much more important issue than weight. Focussing on being as healthy as possible is a much better and more effective goal than focussing on losing weight.

I’d suggest being severely overweight is a mental health condition the same as being anorexic

This is certainly what it feels like for me :( I am obese, depressed and anxious. I am not using MH as an excuse, but I don't know how to get out of this rut, genuinely. I am too embarrassed to ask for help, admit that all I do is eat, even when my stomach is bursting with food I feel I must keep eating. I don't know why :( It's so easy to say don't be embarrassed but I am not only embarrassed I am ashamed so instead I hide away as often as I can so nobody has to see me. I know I am fat and disgusting and really do feel like I am a waste of life, I have failed my family and not worthy of anyone's time :(

orange - you aren't the only one. you are not alone and you can change this today. i know it isn't that easy, believe me i know!! but seeking help is a step which makes other steps feel easier.

you are not a waste of life, you haven't failed and you are worthy. our worth is far, far more than what we weigh or what we look like.

orange you are NOT disgusting. You have not failed anyone and you are a valuable person.

I would go and see your GP about depression and anxiety, rather than weight loss. When your mental health is poor, it's impossible to tackle any other issues. But they can help you with the mental health issues, so then you will be in a better place to make good choices about eating and physical health issues.

And I'm going to repeat what I just said, orangekitten:

Your happiness should not depend on your weight, your dress size, or your BMI. EVERYONE is allowed to be happy. EVERYONE is allowed to live their best life. EVERYONE is allowed to be in love and be loved, to have fun, to wear great clothes, to go out, to do what makes them happy.

That EVERYONE? That means you.

models in 2018 are a healthy weight people seem to not realise a healthy weight can be skinny.

Hmmmmm I don’t think this is true tbh^^. I have some friends who worked in the fashion industry in London until very recently and, purely based on what they’ve told me, I think a lot of the models they work with are a very unhealthy weight. And, it sounds like, they are not just “naturally skinny”. They need to restrict calories and employ all sorts of other methods to get down to a size 4-6 while also being much taller than average.

One of the friends I mention, who worked in the industry, was approached to be a model. She was already underweight and had an eating disorder, (not too serious thank God and she is much, much better now), but she decided against it, as they had told her she would need to lose weight. She was about a size 8 and 5’9”. That was a while ago though, so things might be different now. She doesn’t seem to think so though, based on her work.

Anyone who thinks models in 2018 are healthy clearly hasn't worked in the fashion industry.

I never understand this “concern” about being overweight being normalised. Every person I know who is overweight is trying to lose it. They are very aware of the health problems caused by being overweight and the fact that there is a prevailing view in society that they are disgusting people who can’t control themselves. They want to be slim and they want to feel comfortable in their own skin. I really don’t think that people like the OP need to trouble themselves too much about ensuring people who are overweight remember that it is a “problem”

OrangeKitten I just want to say that I understand. I really do.

I never understand this “concern” about being overweight being normalised.

In my personal experience, I find it comes from people who are not actually concerned about public health, but more about losing some sort of status that comes from being a healthy weight (which is still usually considered fat by fashion standards. My BMI is 24, I'm a size 12, and I can assure you I won't be working as a fashion model any time soon.).

To be honest, the beauty industry has promoted body positivity as near-anorexia in the past anyway. The medium, normal, average etc people are still the ones I see the least of in the mainstream.

What I do love seeing is variety, tonnes of variety in the things people say are beautiful. Afro hair, dark skin, non-symmetrical faces. Huge boobs, flat chests. Freckles. Short hair. Piercings. No make up. The biggest plus-size models still conform to typical standard facially.

I don't think there's such a thing as everyone being beautiful, but acknowledging more types than the 'standard' nordic skinny blond are beautiful will go far further than trying to nail half the planet down to a highly specific phenotype.

"Your happiness should not depend on your weight, your dress size, or your BMI. EVERYONE is allowed to be happy. EVERYONE is allowed to live their best life. EVERYONE is allowed to be in love and be loved, to have fun, to wear great clothes, to go out, to do what makes them happy."

But every time you walk out of the door, especially in the warmer weather, you are reminded that not everyone thinks like that.

I've become obese, size 18, because of serious illness, lack of mobility and medication. Poverty does help with food choices, now. I was denied PIP for a year, got it when I started to get better. If I was more mobile etc it wouldn't be an issue. I was a daily gym goer, loved hill walking and weights.

Whilst out shopping for Easter chocolate for other people, I'm not eating sugar, I picked up on comments.

When I need to sit down, or getting hot (result if medical condition, not obesity), I've had comments.

Yesterday at the fair with my Grandchildren, especially when I was buying them a hotdog and a bag of candyfloss to take home to my DD. There were lots of Parents who felt the need to suddenly explain loudly why they didn't need food and shouldn't eat candyfloss, whilst snuggly looking at me.

Again whilst I queued for an icecream (only buying for one GC).

I've stopped eating, or buying anything accept water when I'm out, the comments are relentless and it from all ages and walks of life.

Its become that much of a norm to be treated as a second rate person, that it amazes me when I'm treated well.

Body positivity is needed to just not become agoraphobic.

Poverty doesn't help with food choices.

Why would you nention it. Do you think they're unaware of the size of their body?
This is quite possible actually. If you don't weigh yourself regularly or look at yourself naked in a full length mirror, and wear stretchy clothes it's quite possible not to be aware of how much weight you have gained.

This is quite possible actually. If you don't weigh yourself regularly or look at yourself naked in a full length mirror, and wear stretchy clothes it's quite possible not to be aware of how much weight you have gained.

I think fat people usually know they're fat. A lot of us might be in a bit of denial about jeans shrinking in the wash and so on, but generally, if you're fat you know it. And being fat doesn't mean you're blind or stupid.

I could understand a relative or close friend gently trying to have a word with someone they love if they're worried about their health. Randoms or people you barely know making comments about your size aren't working for your benefit, they're being arseholes. Tell them if they don't like what you eat, you'll eat them instead.

MN is hot on the mental health issue, yes? Well being fat may not be good for you, but being encouraged to hate yourself for your weight isn't great for you either.

PoorYorick I think a lot of people get a nasty surprise when they get on the scales, thats all. It's happened to me a couple of times, I underestimated my weight by at least a stone, which put me into the obese category. I knew I was putting weight on and getting fatter, just not how much.
Not that I would ever say 'hey you look as if you're obese' to anyone, but if someone asked me for an honest opinion I think its best to be honest, in a tactful way.

Yes, I do agree it's easy to underestimate your real weight. But if you're of a size where dickheads are making comments, it's probably impacted on you in other ways too, and you're unlikely not to realise there's a problem. People with no connection, or not enough connection, giving you their unsolicited disapproval is just nasty and has nothing to do with their concern for your wellbeing.

"Your happiness should not depend on your weight, your dress size, or your BMI. EVERYONE is allowed to be happy. EVERYONE is allowed to live their best life. EVERYONE is allowed to be in love and be loved, to have fun, to wear great clothes, to go out, to do what makes them happy."

It's very hard to be happy when you're risking serious illness and are physically uncomfortable. So it will to a certain extent always have an element of happiness based on weight. You can't just tell someone who is struggling with their weight to be happy. They don't just go "ah, alright then, I will,, never thought of that".

Orange, I agree, seek help for the mental health issues first off. When that's sorted weight can be addressed. 💐

If you don't weigh yourself regularly or look at yourself naked in a full length mirror, and wear stretchy clothes it's quite possible not to be aware of how much weight you have gained

I am this person. I don't tend to weigh myself, I potter round in leggings, I find it difficult to see how much weight I've gained and I find it difficult to see how much weight I've lost unless I really look at myself and I tend not to do that. If something stops fitting I just don't wear it. Then when I do notice im surprised. I'm also the same with losing weight. The reason I suspect is because it doesn't go on or come off fast. So day to day yout appearance doesn't change that much. You tend not to look much different today than you did yesterday.

I've never been really big, the largest I've been is a 16 and I'm five foot eight, but as I'm generally a 10 or so, I can gain quite a lot of weight before I genuinely notice it. I can also lose quite a lot of weight before I see it in myself. I know I've lost it, because I'm trying, but I find it hard to see. It's usually other people's comments on weight loss that make me have a proper look. Past that it's "does this fit" yes or no, move on.

As said, either gaining or losing, yout appearance doesn't change from one day to the next so for some of us it's not something we see immediately.

I only found out about this this week as it was mentioned in the mag i was reading at the hairdressers.

www.standard.co.uk/showbiz/celebrity-news/celebrity-big-brother-s-angie-best-angers-loose-women-as-she-blames-coleen-nolan-s-marriage-problems-a3441976.html