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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think if being "body positive" was promoting anorexia...

252 replies

Piglatin · 05/04/2018 07:30

...everyone would be up in arms? Yet I see the phrase being used more and more on social media by obese women. I don't understand why being "thick", "curvy", "plus size", "voluptuous" are just other ways to avoid saying fat, yet if skeletal women were posting things about being "body positive" most people would see how damaging it is. Are we all meant to pretend that being unhealthily overweight is OK now?!

OP posts:
DailyWailSucksSnails · 05/04/2018 08:50

"big boobs, a tiny waist and a big arse (usually 36,26,36). Very hard for most women to achieve."

I think I'm amused at how much I disagree with every part of that sentence.

OP makes a good point, that BoPo can be used to perpetuate denial about real world problems.

From me, there's hugely more stigma for being anorexic (which is behaviours, not just body size).

PoorYorick · 05/04/2018 08:50

You'd have a point of it were a level playing field between thin and fat but we all know it's not. So much pressure to be a size that's too thin for most people, really no pressure to be fat. In fact, being fat is punishable.

I have a theory that people with concerns like yours are more worried about no longer being held up as the ideal than they are about public health.

Elementtree · 05/04/2018 08:54

No. I think you are wrong.

Body positive models are a corrective to the bog standard model whose low bmi mean that they operate far closer to risky eating and consequences than those who are slightly over-weight. Being very obese is obviously risky as well but we don't really see this group modelling.

Again,with the 'curves', if your point we're in isolation I would understand your objection, but it's worth pointing out that this emerged alongside rapidly shrinking models, TV and film stars in the nineties, early naughties where it became a point of facination to see how emaciated and bony they could get before they dropped dead.

DailyWailSucksSnails · 05/04/2018 08:55

Being fat means you have bigger boobs, bigger arse (in fashion), and you join in the social occasions that are binge-drinking & eating junk food, office cake, large family meals.

When I went to OA, one older speaker said a specific reason for her to over-eat was so she could have a big breasts. She felt bereft when she slimmed down to a normal size chest. There are social rewards for being larger.

FissionChips · 05/04/2018 08:57

Do you fear people will force feed themselves into obesity because of these body positive campaigns?

Quietlife1979 · 05/04/2018 09:00

Deprivation and over eating are mental health issues.

Both equally have their serious health issues. To think that obesity isn’t as risky has being under weight is foolish

Raven88 · 05/04/2018 09:00

I was sucked into the body positive movement and I was 18 stone at the time but I got the Shock of my life when my fasting blood sugar came back high and since that day I've been healthy and losing weight. Through diet and exercise my blood sugar is now in the safe range. Totally agree that promoting obesity is the same as promoting anorexia.

Dobbythesockelf · 05/04/2018 09:02

I get where you are coming from OP. I think it's fine to say that you should embrace imperfections, stretch marks, scars etc but another to say that being obese is fine. I know a woman who is obese she is a size 18/20, she posts a lot of things about being comfortable in her own skin, that she is perfectly healthy etc. Now she might be healthy right now but in a few years I can't possibly see how it will stay that way long term. She is also not confident irl so I think a lot of these body positive posters are just looking for outside validation.
A bit overweight is fine, obese is another thing altogether and we shouldn't promote any kind of unhealthy lifestyle.

Piglatin · 05/04/2018 09:04

I have a theory that people with concerns like yours are more worried about no longer being held up as the ideal than they are about public health.

I have no idea what this means?

Do you fear people will force feed themselves into obesity because of these body positive campaigns?

No, but I have concerns that being heavily overweight is becoming the norm.

OP posts:
AlmostAJillSandwich · 05/04/2018 09:07

Have you possibly considered that some of these women who are obese also have an eating disorder and are trying to accept themselves to try to curb unhealthy behaviours and obsessions?

Now of course i'm not saying every, or even the majority, of obese people, have an eating disorder. Just like how not every underweight/slim/athletic person has an eating disorder.

BUT there is absolutely an opposite end of the spectrum where instead of extreme food restriction and control, there is complete lack of control over eating. Compulsive over eating, binge eating, both occur in bulimics too, but in these cases the sufferer doesn't "purge"(vomit) afterwards, in the way a bulimia suffer does, so there isn't a removal of any of the binged food and calories, leading to usually significant weight gain and being obese.

Unfortunately this end of the eating disorder spectrum gets much less acceptance, understanding and sympathy, even from medical professionals. You get labeled things like "greedy" and "lazy" rather than recognition its an illness. I absolutely understand larger people trying to accept themselves for how they are since the help is pretty none existent for these sufferers.

As for "regular" overweight people, if it makes them feel better about themselves, is it really such a bad thing? It may even help them to make healthy changes if they can accept them self as they are but want to make "improvements" instead of feeling they need to change drastically. Surely they will take it slower, go steadier, and be more likely to succeed as they wont gt as easily overwhelmed and give up thinking its too big a task.

LaurieFairyCake · 05/04/2018 09:10

The problem with this discussion is people keep saying The body positive movement celebrates obesity

IT DOES NOT

It celebrates YOU, whoever you are. YOUR actual personhood. Your disabilities. What your body can ACTUALLY do instead of what it can’t (like conform to societal expectations).

userabcname · 05/04/2018 09:11

I do agree with some points but I would just like to say that I don't think these women are "celebrating obesity". They are celebrating themselves. They just happen to be obese. Again, slimmer women do this all the time without anyone batting an eyelid (often using tags like 'bikini ready', 'beach body', 'gym bunny' as opposed to 'curvy', 'thick' etc.). I do feel there is a double standard here.

LaurieFairyCake · 05/04/2018 09:11

Body positivity celebrates self acceptance NOT obesity

Elementtree · 05/04/2018 09:12

Foolish?

Maybe you'd like to read up on it before you assume I'm an idiot?

Ofthread · 05/04/2018 09:13

Obesity is not the opposite of anorexia. Anorexia is not the opposite of obesity.

Elementtree · 05/04/2018 09:16

Anorexia is not the opposite of obesity, agreed. You will, however, find the anorexics within the cohort of the underweight. In the same way you will find other chronic illnesses within the obese catagory that put them at risk, those who are socially isolated, those who are on high steroid treatments etc.

FlakyToast · 05/04/2018 09:16

First of all.

No one is celebrating obesity, FFS, you goady fucks.

Second of all.

No one aspires to be fat. You may have well noticed that while the modelling world doesn't call its self "body positive" they have actually been pushing anorexic models for decades. Or were you unaware of the huge problem with anorexia in the media? Hmm Wish I knew where the rock you'd been living under for 40 years was. I could do with some quiet.

And no, people haven't been "up in arms" about it. I only ever see goady threads complaining about fat people ruining their web browsing experiences.

Ivorbig1 · 05/04/2018 09:18

Your argument is flawed. No one promotes obesity, acceptance yes, not just for the individual but from wider society.
Anorexia is a mental health issue, no one promotes this.

BroomstickOfLove · 05/04/2018 09:20

It depends what you would like to see happening.

If you would like to see obese people starting to take more exercise, access appropriate medical care and get a healthy attitude to food, that starts with being positive and accepting of fat bodies.

If you can't get exercise clothes that fit, then exercise is harder. If people at the gym look at fat people with disgust, then that's not a place where fat people will exercise. If the person leading an exercise class isn't able to know when modifications based on weight are appropriate, then fat people don't get the safe but intense exercise they need and end up injured or not working at an appropriate level.

Obesity changes the body and sustained weight loss of a large amount is a huge undertaking, as the physical changes of obesity mean that the body is primed to regain as much weight as possible, as swiftly as possible.

For many obese people, the goal which will have the greatest possible benefit to their health is to eat a balanced diet at very slightly below their calorie requirements and to exercise a lot. This will not make them lose weight fast, and the chances are that their healthy weight which is possible to sustain long-term while living a normal life will still look "fat".

Accepting fat bodies is the first step in addressing both the physical issues of exercise, and the psychological causes of overeating.

Whereas telling fat people that they should be thin is remarkably unhelpful.

Ivorbig1 · 05/04/2018 09:21

Sorry that came out wrong. In fact I think anorexia is not promoted as such on purpose, but skinny is pushed on women and contributes

Eliza9917 · 05/04/2018 09:22

Not many people aspire to be fatter than they are.

Yet. The way it's going they will soon probably.

I'm all for promoting healthy weight, but not obesity like that Tess holiday and the like. To me that's wrong.

FlakyToast · 05/04/2018 09:23

And yy to obesity not being the opposite of anorexia. It is an eating disorder but not dysphoria. It's a simple addiction. I don't shove food in my face because I look in the mirror and I think I'm desperately thin.

There is a significantly higher than average oif abuse and sexual abuse in the hstory of obese women over normal sized women. Combine this with the fact that other addictions have reduced themselves due to social stigma (think day drinking, smoking, and the casual taking of happy pills) and the fact that food is cheap, and readily available is obviously going to lead on to an increase in food addiction. Pubs didn't "disappear" they turned in to fat-laden cafes.

FlakyToast · 05/04/2018 09:25

Yet. The way it's going they will soon probably.

"probably"

Sounds legit.

Sparklesocks · 05/04/2018 09:27

Tbh if an adult woman is feeling confident/comfortable in her body then I don't think it's really my place to tell her otherwise. If she's overweight, she knows she's overweight, but she's a grown up and it's not really any of my concern.

I do think there is merit to women seeing a range of body types etc on social media as we only see very specific types in mainstream media.

But overall I don't think it's my place to police what is healthy, what isn't and other people's bodies. If they're happy, fine, has no bearing on my life!

Elementtree · 05/04/2018 09:27

Yet. The way it's going they will soon probably

Oh no. Someone should warn the dieting industry, they seem to be under the impression they are going from strength to strength. Do you think you should warn them?