Am I wrong for eating a sacred animal?

[MilkyCoffeeAndSkinnySyrup]

My DH is Hindu so he does not eat beef (he eats other meat though), but I eat beef because it has always been part of my diet (I am British). He always makes me feel guilty for cooking it and even having it in the fridge/freezer, but I always cook alternative meals for him so that he still has dinner! He says why am I bringing it into the house, why do I have to eat it in front of him, why can't I just live without it etc! AIBU to think that he cannot stop me from eating what I want?

there is more behind this with religion that just no liking it so I can see more why havin it in the house or fridge might seem more of an issue.but I'm still not sure he shouldn't get over it just like you don't force him to have it or nothing.
perhaps you could buy it in the day you cook it.so its not sitting there goading him from the fridge.
I'm in two camps on this and can see both sides.

I find it difficult to believe there are such belligerent people in the world. Well, no, I don't really.

Can you not live without the beef, or save it for when he isn't around? I can see why it's upsetting to him.

It's weird that you didn't resolve this before you got married.

You are not wrong for eating his sacred animal, but you are showing contempt for his feelings by eating it in front of him. Surely you have opportunites to eat beef when he isn't around?
I have very close friends who are vegetarian. If we are eating together I don't eat meat as I know they find it unpleasant. I am yet to die of starvation

I am vegetarian and have been since I was twelve. I hate the sight and smell of meat, it repulses me. If meat is being cooked, I have to leave the house. I realise this may seem extreme but it honestly makes me heave (I even have to hold my nose walking past greasy spoon cafes.) So whilst I wouldn’t stop my DP eating meat, he knows better than to cook it in the house when I am present. It’s just a matter of respect to me and I would argue it’s disrespectful to your DH to cook an animal that is sacred to him right in front of him. You don’t NEED to eat beef, it won’t make you any less British if you skip it .

My DF is Jewish so obviously pork is a no-no. My DM loves bacon but she appreciated she couldn’t have it in the house when they were together. It’s just simple respect.

If you like it,then eat it,,No man would tell me what I could or couldn't eat ,just because its a religious thing for him.
Its not your religion though is it,,,I can understand that you would eat it when he isn't there but to not buy it or have it the freezer,,?
Crikey,,,

Cats, It's weird that you didn't resolve this before you got married.

Read the OP's posts properly and you'll see that she thought it was resolved.

I live with my Muslim DH and I don't bring pork into the house. He's said he doesn't mind, I can eat what I want. But I don't, because I support his beliefs and he appreciates that.

Small sacrifices eh!

I wouldn't stop eating it but would compromise and not have any in the freezer where it comes into contact with other foods. I'd happily order it while out and eat it in front of him though

Yes but pinkvoid any partner of yours would know right from the beginning of the relationship what your stance was on meat, and so would move in together based on that knowledge.

OP's DH had no problem watching her eat burgers before they got married - suddenly now it's disrespectful. You may not think she needs to eat beef, but if it wasn't agreed in advance that it would be a problem, then why shouldn't she?

I assume he has no issue with you eating dead cow, and otherwise following his religious practises before you were married?

If he did you should have sorted before the wedding as it was obviously important to him, if not he has no right to insist the goalposts are changed.

Discuss it and if you want to eat beef he will need to accept and stop trying to guilt trip you, perhaps you can have a compromise and you will only eat it once/twice a week or you wont have it in the house when his parents visit for example.

Do you have children, you need to have a serious talk about your cultural differences and how you would raise a child before you even think about starting a family.

I can't stand the smell of lamb, and hate the taste. OH loves lamb, but we compromise and he doesn't cook it very often, and never roasts it (which is the smell I hate most) but when we eat out he takes the opportunity to order it. Sweetpea55 has a different view on the matter, but I generally think compromise (on both sides) is necessary for a long-term relationship. Not having beef in the house doesn't seem like a very big deal to me.

To the ‘should have discussed before marriage’ brigade,
I am veggie and at the point of meeting my ex, had been for 12 years. He was very respectful, understanding and switched to a vegetarian diet without a thought when we moved in together. 10 years later he was huffing and puffing about it, trying to make me feel bad, putting me in my place as a SAHM and it was therefore my job to cook what he wanted, etc etc.

People change. Time changes people. The reality of respectfulness in year one vs. The reality in year 10 is clearly an issue for some.

"My DH is Hindu..."
"I am British"
(Misses point entirely...)

Missed the “ I am British” comment.

You crack on, OP. You’ll lose your passport if you don’t eat The Roast Beef of Old England at least three times a week.

I'm obviously failing to see the faux pas in assuming that people could read the phrase 'I am British' within context and be able to make some connections between the OP's Britishness and what it might imply about her diet.

ShapelyBingoWing indeed, that seems a bit oversensitive. But it is a great way to make OP seem also racist, which would support their rather weak point.

So being British means that giving up eating beef in your own home will be a struggle for you?

BertrandRussell, please do point out where that has been implied? It's certainly implied that beef is a very commonplace part of the typical British diet but nobody has spoken about struggle. I imagine only the OP can tell us if she'd struggle to not eat it.

@BertrandRussell

Yes. It implies that you're not likely to have any religious or cultural dietary restrictions and are likely to have grown up eating beef, pork, poultry, fish and seafood and by the age you're married you're likely to be fairly set in your eating habits.

Kosher, Halal, being Hindu ... they're all in the minority and saying so doesn't make you racist. Saying 'British people do x, y, z" is not offensive even if based on generalisations.

If he ate dog in front of you would you be happy ?

How did this not come up before you got married?! Could you not just not cool/eat beef at home and save it for times you are not together like meals out with friends, lunch at work etc. I couldn't be bothered with cooking two meals and I think if it's important to.him it wouldn't take a lot to be more considerate.

LemonysSnicket what is the relevance of that?

What if Op was fine watching her DH eat dog in front of her prior to marriage, but suddenly once married she hated it/couldn't bear to see it/it upset her religious beliefs - that is the situation that is being discussed here.

Respect the animals and respect the other people in the house. No one brings anything non vegan into my house and my dad leaves the stuff he buys outside out of respect (he doesn't eat meat though- just fish and bodily secretions...milk and eggs but he doesn't cook with them in my house.

Well Co aider informed that he isn't even following the basic principles of his own religion (not killing animals is more important than revering cows in vedic theology. The reason why cows are revered is that Lord Krishna reincarnate his favourites (basically good people) as cows often. But all living things are a part of Krishna and acting violently against them amounts to acting violently against God) and is probably desecrating cows anyway (if he consumes dairy or leather cows are being killed on his behest anyway). I don't think YABU to eat what you want. My husband is vegetarian for religious reasons. I don't eat meat in front of him (I don't eat much meat anyway so I am unused to the smell and know that it can put me off my food so it must be unpleasant for him) but I still keep meat in the house and cook it for our children. He knows that he cannot expect me to respect his beliefs if he doesn't respect mine.