"Send them to the park next time.playing football on the road is stupid"
This! It's noisy, disruptive and dangerous for the kids. How old are they?
I'm also sceptical it's only been twice as you claim. Cos kids never lie about this kinda thing eh! Plus she could well have experience of this from other local children.
Totally seeing her point, not only is she expected to run around after your family it's entirely possible a ball could damage items in her garden or even hit her! Which even if it doesn't hurt her would probably give her a hell of a jump!
Your other neighbours aren't going to be very impressed if their ball goes in other gardens, hits a window, or car or one of them either.
Do you have a garden? If so they can play in there or in a park or other suitable space.
"I never felt it was a big deal." You're not her! You're young, fit and healthy she may not be, she may be a carer, you're not a keen gardener by the sounds of it so possibly can't appreciate the disappointment and annoyance of a plant you've put a lot of time into being squished by some strangers kids ball!! Actually at this time of year they may well be delicate seedlings. And everyone doesn't have to think/feel the same as you do just to keep you happy.
My mum lives near a park and has had 2 wing mirrors bust by kids mucking about with balls.
"But she did slam the door hard at my face, I think that's rather rude...even if I did unknowingly ring the doorbell at dinnertime." BUT you didn't JUST ring at dinner time, you didn't consider it may be a meal time for them (what time was it?), you ARGUED with her when all you should be doing is apologising and ensuring it doesn't happen again.
No she's NOT being petty, you and your DC are rude and entitled in your behaviour. You need to apologise to her. But I'd recommend a note rather than calling. You should also be teaching your children manners and consideration for other people and their time and property.
Re football v Xbox oh please! As pp said not the only 2 options AT ALL I have a dd who is very much an outdoor cat (couldn't even keep her in with 2ft of snow outside) if she'd behaved like this she'd have been made to apologise to neighbour and grounded for a day!
And for pity's sake DON'T encourage children to trespass. Not just rude but illegal.
"and your neighbour has correctly identified you as someone to come down hard on to prevent further nuisance behaviour." Absolutely!
"Sorry OP but there seems to be a wierd load of people around who given a choice between being kind to kids or a difficult arse, then they choose the latter every time." And what about the kids AND the op being kind to their neighbour? Or does she and HER needs not matter?
Fijisky - if you behaved like that round here you'd certainly risk wardens coming round for a chat and if you're renting it could contravene your tenancy agreement and if owned would need to declare the dispute when selling. In addition if you're in social housing you risk being evicted.
"Boys get very attached to their footballs" oh give me strength! Then they need to be more careful with them eh! But honestly teaching kids to be "attached" to things to the detriment of good manners is dreadful.
Your post at 2029 beggars belief! Aside from everything else you say yourself this is the FIRST time you met her - and what's the first thing you do? Try to tell her what to do in her own home!
"Football is best played in the park and this sort of thing usually comes up because their parents are too bloody bone idle to take them there and expect their neighbours to put up with the inconvenience of having their street turned into a play park instead." So true
I love it when the older generation show young people how to behave
Actually the neighbour WAS she clearly stated what she wouldn't accept behaviour wise and when that was ignored stated this again and when op wouldn't listen instead of giving in left the situation.
"in front of my son." And you were being rude, entitled and argumentative to another adult IN FRONT OF YOUR SON
"Im not a mind reader so had no idea they were prepping dinner... I literally arrived from work" so what time was it? As you'd just finished work I'm guessing 5/6 o' clock? AND she told you and you DIDN'T then let her get her meal (and possibly have to feed someone)
"Community spirit works both ways." Exactly
"but there is no suggestion that this is the case here." Ahem - "although the other kids do it too" in op's 2nd post though I agree she's REALLY played that aspect down.
I suspect another aspect is it'll be worse in the summer AND if she's soft on one set of kids others will shout "unfair".
Lots of older folk eat early for a variety of reasons, habit formed from working hours and getting home at 5ish and having dinner straight away, not wanting to eat late because they also tend to go to bed early (often again due to being used to rising early for work) and because they find lying down on a full stomach at best uncomfortable at worst likely to cause indigestion, heartburn, diarrhoea, nausea etc. Also many older folk are on medications that need to be taken with food at certain times, if it's a medication they take 4 times a day it allows them to squeeze in a supper to take the 4th dose or medication they take in the day with food can interact badly with sleep meds (as can having a full stomach) - I spent a lotta years in elderly care