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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how people afford a 2nd child?

191 replies

ScruffleCake · 04/04/2018 12:48

We have just found out we are going to have our 2nd baby but now going through finances I am wondering if we can even afford to keep the baby Sad How do people afford to have another one? I thought we were both decent earners, my DP earns £24,500 and I earn £28,000. I know we live in the south-east where living costs are higher but I still see plenty of 2 children families around.

Our breakdown of our incoming & outgoings are below. The Bike loan will be up in 2 years (DP uses it to get to/from work) and the childcare is based on both babies going into care 3 days a week (assuming our parents will be okay looking after 2 babies on the other 2 days!).

Net income including both wages & child maintance: £3400
Outgoings breakdown:
Mortgage - £1,150
House Insurance - £20
Bike loan - £156
Internet - £39
TV Licence - £13
Bike insurance - £158
Energy (electric & gas) - £95
Water - £40
Mobile phones - £80
Food Shop - £350
Childcare - £1500
Fuel - £200
Total £3714

I suppose there are these free childcare places? But I can’t seem to find anywhere around me that offers these? And we will have 1.5 years till that starts when 2nd baby is born anyway. Not sure where we are meant to find this extra £314 from and we were hoping to be getting married in a few years but that can’t happen if we haven’t even any spare money for clothes etc let alone savings!

OP posts:
Babyplaymat · 04/04/2018 12:53

Well, you can get married for a couple of hundred quid so I would just get that done tbh.

Any wiggle room on moving? Changing mortgage rate etc?

blinkineckmum · 04/04/2018 12:53

I had 2 under 2 (now have 3 age 4 and under). When I went back to work it was ok as I had tax free childcare vouchers, as did my dh, and got some tax credits. It wasn't too bad. We had a cheap lifestyle though - low mortgage on a modest home, no tv/ tumble dryer/ dishwasher/ tablets etc., one car, no cleaner, cheap mobiles etc. Then at 3 years old the 30 free hours childcare kicked in. We stopped tax credits but only had one child to pay for. I also found a childminder much cheaper than nursery as I only paid for the hours we needed.

strawberrypenguin · 04/04/2018 12:55

Honestly? At the moment things are really tight with 2. Mostly due to Nursery fees. We just keep repeating that it's only a year until youngest gets free hours, which will be a massive help.

Original poster
ScruffleCake · 04/04/2018 12:56

We only just moved in! We were being stung on £1000 rent a month for a shitty barely 2 bed flat before and now we are in a very small 3 bed house. I know we should be grateful for being able to live in a 3 bed house but it really isn't anything extravagant and wasn't even the largest mortgage lenders said we could apparently afford? So no room for moving, certainly wouldn't even have the money for fees!

OP posts:
orangesmartieseggs · 04/04/2018 12:57

We're getting married in five months for just under £200 at our local registry office. I would be getting married as a priority, really. You don't need a big wedding/party, but I think you need to get the legal protection in place.

You're spending a lot on food and mobile phones. And that bike loan is a LOT of money - can you really afford to keep that up?

Original poster
ScruffleCake · 04/04/2018 12:57

Where do you find these free hours? Currently we have a childminder (all nurseries are fully booked with horrid waiting lists anyway).

We aren't eligible for tax credits, I checked online and it said we earn too much

OP posts:
Tobuyornot99 · 04/04/2018 12:57

Surely you can shop around for cheaper bike insurance?

Aside from that, tax free childcare vouchers will save you a good chunk. Don't forget you'll get child benefit too.
Could it be worth one of you dropping to a four day week / compressed week to save on childcare?

ToriRay · 04/04/2018 12:59

Is your breakdown Monthly? Bike insurance seems high? (Motorbike or push bike?!) have you shopped around for all utilities to check you're getting the best deals?
Totally get the financial fear or kids x 2. It was the big reason we held off for so long. We put as much as we could away whilst pregnant by cutting back, and it actually provided a bit more of a cushioning than I ever though putting a few quid away would. Appreciate that not everyone can though.

Babyplaymat · 04/04/2018 12:59

Your bike insurance, mobiles are v expensive. Could prob cut down food bill too.

Bike plus insurance plus fuel must be topping £400 a month...that's a lot!

Openup41 · 04/04/2018 13:00

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ScruffleCake · 04/04/2018 13:00

orangesmartieseggs it is nearly paid off, 2 years left and we cant just stop paying it as then DP would have no way to get to work? And not sure we would even get the money to pay off the loan if he sold it anyway. Mobile phones is only £40 each and I need mine for work. I suppose £80 a week on food is a lot but when its £15 a week on formula that only leave us with £65 and we still need to get 3 x packed lunches (soon to be 4 I guess) plus dinners, nappies etc. We only have 1 meat dish a week too.

What are people's shopping list break downs if we can get that lower?

OP posts:
SharkSave · 04/04/2018 13:01

The free hours are 15 per week from the age of 2 if in receipt of certain benefits or 30 hours per week from the term after they turn 3. Both of these are for 38 weeks of the year (term time only essentially)

lornathewizzard · 04/04/2018 13:01

Well I think the short answer is many couples have someone who stays at home after the second one.

But also some of your costs are high - is bike insurance £158 a month??

And yes first baby will get 15 free hours the term after they’re 3, and their are tax free childcare voucher schemes to look into.

We have two under 4 and as yet haven’t noticed to much cost increase but I’m a SAHM and have been since our first was born.

ToriRay · 04/04/2018 13:01

open this exactly! Makes things so much easier. Not everyone wants that gap, but worked perfectly for us.

lornathewizzard · 04/04/2018 13:02

Definitely do a financial audit to make sure you’re getting to best deals etc

Original poster
ScruffleCake · 04/04/2018 13:02

ToriRay motorbike (£5000 loan + interest over 3 years)

Fuel is that high because that is what I need to fill up my car. I only use it for dropping DS to childcare/Grandparents and going to work.

OP posts:
Original poster
ScruffleCake · 04/04/2018 13:03

ToriRay so should I look into aborting then and maybe just wait? I really didn't want to have to go down that route

OP posts:
Babyplaymat · 04/04/2018 13:04

Dunno, £40 p/m on a mobile sounds like a lot, we spend £10 each.

Original poster
ScruffleCake · 04/04/2018 13:04

But where do you get this free childcare? My childminder said she doesn't do them? Nurseries do not seem to say that they do them either looking online (plus waiting lists are high too)

OP posts:
ToriRay · 04/04/2018 13:05

It's good that you only have it over three years to get it paid off! It was just the insurance that seemed a lot? Granted, I've never tried to insure a motorbike! Can you do a joint car/bike insurance? Not sure if that exists?

Original poster
ScruffleCake · 04/04/2018 13:05

Babyplaymat blimey that's a deal! who you with? we are with EE, meant we had like 0 cost upfront and we get unlimited everything

OP posts:
Babyplaymat · 04/04/2018 13:06

The majority of childminders and nurseries round here will do the 15 hrs funding.

AnnabelleLecter · 04/04/2018 13:06

To me £80 is a lot to spend on phones.
You could save £50-60 there. You were sensible to buy a 3 bed straight off which was a good move. Things often get easier.

CottonSock · 04/04/2018 13:06

I had a 3 year age gap to avoid 2 in nursery.
You can get good SIM only deals for £5. This would save £70.
Assume you mean bike loan not insurance?
You could save a bit on internet deal
I do think your mortgage ìs high for your earnings. Could you lengthen the term then get back on track when both kids in school?

Original poster
ScruffleCake · 04/04/2018 13:06

ToriRay that is just because DP is an idiot and has a sports bike and that's just how much it costs to insure. Cannot get a joint one because my work pays for my insurance and car etc

OP posts: