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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how people afford a 2nd child?

191 replies

ScruffleCake · 04/04/2018 12:48

We have just found out we are going to have our 2nd baby but now going through finances I am wondering if we can even afford to keep the baby Sad How do people afford to have another one? I thought we were both decent earners, my DP earns £24,500 and I earn £28,000. I know we live in the south-east where living costs are higher but I still see plenty of 2 children families around.

Our breakdown of our incoming & outgoings are below. The Bike loan will be up in 2 years (DP uses it to get to/from work) and the childcare is based on both babies going into care 3 days a week (assuming our parents will be okay looking after 2 babies on the other 2 days!).

Net income including both wages & child maintance: £3400
Outgoings breakdown:
Mortgage - £1,150
House Insurance - £20
Bike loan - £156
Internet - £39
TV Licence - £13
Bike insurance - £158
Energy (electric & gas) - £95
Water - £40
Mobile phones - £80
Food Shop - £350
Childcare - £1500
Fuel - £200
Total £3714

I suppose there are these free childcare places? But I can’t seem to find anywhere around me that offers these? And we will have 1.5 years till that starts when 2nd baby is born anyway. Not sure where we are meant to find this extra £314 from and we were hoping to be getting married in a few years but that can’t happen if we haven’t even any spare money for clothes etc let alone savings!

OP posts:
MySockIsWetAgain · 04/04/2018 13:06

Bike loan and insurance seem very high. If you mean bicycle, you can outright buy one for that price. So you have 300+200 in travel costs, that seems very high.

Mobile phone bills could also be lower. And I think we pay way less than 40 for water...

ToriRay · 04/04/2018 13:07

Good lord! I didn't mean that! I was just responding to the question 'how do people afford 2 children?' Not your exact situation. Of course not - and it may be tough but I'm sure you'll manage. Apologies if you though I was suggesting that!

Babyplaymat · 04/04/2018 13:07

We have Motorola phones and a 10 p/m bundle from Giffgaff. Could get it a bit cheaper but I use a fair amount of data in the car on music/stories etc

SleepyHeadThisTime · 04/04/2018 13:07

You'll do it because you have to. You could shave a little bit off here and there I.e. When your mobile phone contracts come up, keep the same phones and go SIM only. Also £350 seems like quite a lot on food - meal planning could help. In terms of fuel do you have a long commute if your do travels by bicycle? £50 a week or thereabouts sounds like a lot of you don't. Could you and your dp have any options to alter your working hours to accommodate for more time with you and less at childcare - compressed hours for example so you can do 5 days work in 4 days and cut down on a day at nursery?

CottonSock · 04/04/2018 13:07

Bike insurance is listed separately to loan. I'm a bit shocked at the price of this.

orangesmartieseggs · 04/04/2018 13:08

£40 a month on a mobile phone is a lot of money though. We pay about £10-15 each and that's for unlimited texts, about 5GB data and unlimited calls.

How did you sort the bike loan? Is there not an option to give it back and pay an exit fee, then buy a cheap bike outright? £156 on a loan, plus £200 fuel costs is a huge amount of money a month!

juneau · 04/04/2018 13:09

Bike insurance is £158 a month? That's £1896 a year!!! Surely you could get a better deal than that (unless your DH has had accidents that have put up his insurance).

As for the high childcare bill, look at this: www.gov.uk/help-with-childcare-costs/free-childcare-and-education-for-2-to-4-year-olds. If you cannot get this via your childminder I strongly suggest you find a nursery that does provide it, as it will cut your bills down a huge amount, particularly if, as a working parent, you qualify for 30 free hours per week.

Highfever · 04/04/2018 13:10

You ask family information service for list of childminders and ring and ask if they do the free hours.

orangesmartieseggs · 04/04/2018 13:10

Plus insurance - £158 a month?! I missed that - that's INSANE. That's just under half what I pay for my annual car insurance and I've only been driving six months!

Buglife · 04/04/2018 13:10

Nursery free hours won’t be until aged 3. It’s 15 hours or 30 if both parents working. It’s term time only as well. Is the bike a motorbike? Because with fuel costs as well as the loan and insurance that’s about £500 per month! Is there no cheaper way of your DP getting to work? If it’s not a motorbike that’s some crazy insurance for a push bike.

SleepyHeadThisTime · 04/04/2018 13:10

Put your children down on the waiting list for a nursery/Pre school near you so you can take advantage of the free hours when the time comes

Mrscog · 04/04/2018 13:10

We afforded it with a 3 year gap. Tax free childcare also helps too.

Your DH bike is v expensive not just the loan but also insurance.

Eatsleepworkrepeat · 04/04/2018 13:11

Is water on a meter? What are the terms of the bike loan, any chance you could pay it off with a 0% credit card? House insurance, mine is £10pm. Phones, I guess you're paying for an expensive handset, as data and minutes shouldn't be more than a tenner a month. Bike insurance is astronomical - can you go to a specialist company, or find some other way to bring it down? Fuel, will it be less when you're on mat leave? Sign up for the Martin Lewis moneysavingexpert.com email, you'll learn a lot about getting the best deals for things.

Original poster
ScruffleCake · 04/04/2018 13:12

bike insurance is wrong - its only £58! sorry about that!!!

Erm for commute, that fuel is only my fuel (DP only fills up like £10 a month) - I only use my car for commute and for running DS to childcare. never really gets used at weekends unless we need to go out of town (which is very rare). It really is £50 a month too.

My industry does not do flexible working - still in stone age and barely there with gender equality so I certainly do not want to rock the boat! Especially when I earn more than DP anyway

I guess we will need to look into the phones when that comes up in a years time.

Bike loan, no option to give back because it was a loan on the money rather than the bike.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 04/04/2018 13:13

£40pm is a lot for a phone. Work out when your contract is up and shop around for a sim free deal.

MagicAlwaysLeadsToTrouble · 04/04/2018 13:13

Have you looked at going part time?

If your parents can do two days a week childcare, could you drop to working maybe two or three days, this dropping the need for childcare? (Or only needing one day)

Lots of people go part time for a period of time for that reason. Obviously your income will drop but so will your costs.

Buglife · 04/04/2018 13:13

Ah I see that it’s a “sports bike” how can it cost hundreds a month to keep it and then also won’t be paid off for 2 more years?! How much does it cost to buy? I think the bike seems to be the most bizarre cost. Also you do have a high mortgage for a 3 bed house but if you were paying so much in rent you are probably better off having bought it.

Original poster
ScruffleCake · 04/04/2018 13:13

SleepyHeadThisTime so every nursery does free childcare? I didn't realise this! I thought only certain ones did! makes sense now why they do not mention it anywhere on their websites

OP posts:
Acorncat · 04/04/2018 13:14

Definitely sign up for tax-free childcare if you don't use vouchers, or see which ones better for you - that'll save 20% on your childcare bill. I did the sums beforehand and we'd qualify for tax credit for the childcare element, but now we're in a universal credit area so don't. I've redone the budget and it doesn't make for good reading. I don't know how anyone has 3!

BasilThirty · 04/04/2018 13:14

SE here too and we would struggle for two adults on joint income of just over £50k, I know those wages are probably above national average but for London and the SE I'd see them as fairly low.

MagicAlwaysLeadsToTrouble · 04/04/2018 13:15

Sorry just seen your post.

What industry are you in?

Surely it’s worth a conversation about flexible working, honestly if you don’t ask you don’t get!

Or your partner could go part time?

Buglife · 04/04/2018 13:16

I think you’d have to go part time or the childcare will cost all you earn. Then you can do one day in childcare and two with your parents.

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 04/04/2018 13:16

Even with a performance motorbike that cost is very high - has your dh got points/convictions/accidents? If not this could certainly go down!

How long is left in your mobile contact? From what you've posted you're possibly paying for a new handset in with your contact? Next time look at SIM only deals and keep your handset/ buy a cheaper one? (Eg I pay under £10 month)

Original poster
ScruffleCake · 04/04/2018 13:17

Buglife It is a £5000 loan over 3 years. Plus the insurance was meant to read £58 (not £158 oops!). The Fuel is actually my car fuel, not his bike fuel (that is only £10 a month). Also The house was one of the cheapest 3 beds we could find without moving even further away from work. House prices are very high down here and as we could only afford a 5% deposit we got stung with a high interest rate of 3.5%.

MagicAlwaysLeadsToTrouble I am not going part time when I am the bread winner plus my work place just doesn't do that option. DP has 0 qualifications so his job is best he can get and as it is shift work there are no options for part time

OP posts:
Babyplaymat · 04/04/2018 13:18

If a loan on the money, can't the bike be sold and the loan paid off? Or be sold for something cheaper to run?

Aside from that, you will cope because you have to. The first few years will be hardest and then gone.