Evil - I know I’m not BU

[AngelL7]

I don’t know if anyone remembers my post about DD’s allergy to cats? A quick recap is DD has severe asthma & allergy to cats - her father refused to accept this at it would mean putting his new partner’s cat out, this is despite Dr stressing no contact with cats.

Fast forward from then we now have had tests done proving without a doubt that DD is severely allergic to cats (we have now been advised that it is critical DD is kept away from cats)

Yesterday DD was with her father & when they arrived at his house he put the cat out. However DD has informed me that after her father left the room his partner brought the cat back in and kept it hidden. She seemingly was unaware that DD noticed. Chillingly DD also told me she felt like it was done on purpose to hurt her. (I have always had the opinion that she resented DD because of her link to me so it doesn’t surprise me & I don’t feel it’s exaggerated)

What’s my next step here? If she’s putting my DD at risk is this something that should be reported? I’m so angry & afraid for my DD to be around her again. I don’t know if talking to ex will yield any results, other than a mouthful of abuse saying I’m jealous / lying

I know I've just said it was a good idea for me to stay out of family court but, given that there is an order already in place, the variation is really important in case the cat remains a risk.

If you have any experience in a family Court, you know that no court isn't going to take the OP seriously with the evidence she has.

Even if they did decide the OP is overstating the danger, the OP isn't suddenly going to be carted off to Jail. Most court orders dont carry with them a power of arrest clause. That can of course be added but a lot more has had to have gone wrong. Courts aren't in the business of throwing worried mums in jail. Jail is the most extreme outcome.

Is it responsible or in the child's best interest to be scaring a worried mother with the most unlikely most extreme outcome. I'd argue not. Of course it good to know the worst outcome. But it's not the only outcome, it's not even the most likely outcome and there isn't only one way of approaching an issue.

If it got to court first thing the judge asks you, has this been to mediation? Has social services been involved? Courts aren't in the business of resolving issues which can be resolved between the individuals involved as this one was. Making mediation the first port of call instead of returning it straight to court isn't irresponsible, it's trying to resolve the problem without escalating it or increasing the level of conflict.

This can make it an extremely sensible first step.

Most court orders dont carry with them a power of arrest clause.

Contact (now Child Arrangements) orders have had penal notices attached to them automatically since 2008.

You really know nothing about this toffee.

I imagine the new GF is not going to give up her cat. So contact needs to be outside the house.
Does your ex have overnights? As that could be a problem

Could he see your DD at his parents? With a severe allergy like that you don't want to take unnecessary risks.

I've heard some dreadful stories of mums getting into trouble for trying to protect their children from abusive exes.

Unsupervised contact with my ex would put my son at serious risk of anaphylaxis as well as emotional and possibly physical abuse. I'd take the risk of arrest over that - but at least I'd know the risk I was taking.

I'd hope a family court judge saw sense, but I'd know it wasn't guaranteed.

Good information is so important!

www.gov.uk/government/publications/form-c79-application-related-to-enforcement-of-a-child-arrangement-order
voiceofthechild.org.uk/child-arrangement-orders-and-enforcement/

I'll leave that here. My information is not the most up to date but the above corrects me where im wrong and is up to date.

But your right I know nothing from a legal perspective. But then I have never talked from a legal perspective and made it very clear it's from my own experience.

Yes, that's the form to apply to enforce an order. I don't know what you think it shows.