to stay at home to be with my older dog while husband is on holiday with kids?

[Stopfeckinexaggerating]

Backstory - We have 3 dogs, 9, 4 and 10 months all German Shepherds. Roughly 3 years ago the oldest and the 4 year old started to fight and couldn't be together so they have been living separately ever since. Every once in a while we put them together but they still fight.

We have a touring caravan which we go away in a couple of times a year. The dogs go in the awning. As the dogs still fight we have to leave the oldest at home and someone comes to look after him. (He is easy to look after, doesn't need much walking, prefers to be in the garden etc.)

My AIBU is am I wrong to want to stay at home for a few days to be with him while dh takes the kids away? He is a large dog so we may have only a couple of years left with him. He is older than my children and is my absolute world.

Zeelove, thankfully not everyone thinks like you

actually most people do, including people with dogs!

Yup - I'm sure the DCs will look back on "the holiday that DM didn't come to some of because of one of the dogs" with askance.

I can just about understand why people with no DCs make their dogs into their fur babies and treat them as real children, someone with DCs choosing to prioritise their dog just seems a bit odd.

It's just a few days and the kids are going with their Dad in a caravan that they own. It's not like the OP never spends any time with them and they're jetting off on a month-long, once in a lifetime, never to be repeated trip. Maybe some people were or have such maladjusted children that they'd be deeply affected by their mother staying at home with their elderly and much loved pet dog for a few days (9 is getting on for a GSD), but fortunately for the OP it sounds like her kids are both sensible and balanced enough to be ok with the fact that the world doesn't have to revolve around them 100% of the time.

It´s a few days and they are with their father. I doubt they will be traumatized by not having their mother with them for a few days.

I can just about understand why people with no DCs make their dogs into their fur babies and treat them as real children, someone with DCs choosing to prioritise their dog just seems a bit odd

Err, speaking as a dog owner who doesn't have children I would like to point out that people without children are perfectly capable of telling the difference between dogs and children, thank you very much.

Saying that, my dog is a massively important part of my life and brings so much joy and happiness to my partner and I that I cannot comprehend ever doing anything that would upset or make him anxious.

I was brought up with a whole menagerie of animals, including several dogs. Our parents took in dogs and cats that needed rehoming, often for a short period of time initially, but then they and my brother and I would fall in love with the animal and we would end up keeping it! Having lots of animals was restrictive in that we couldn't go away as a family for longer than a day. If I'm very honest, at times as a teenager I felt restricted amd resentful of my parents choices - but at the same time I could not contemplate life without all the animals we had.

Our upbringing taught us that animals were a gift and they give us unconditional love and ask for nothing in return but our love. except my old Labrador who also asked for food, a lot! being brought up with animals taught us that the world did not revolve around us and to be patient and understanding of others.

When you take on a responsibility like a pet, you are making a commitment to that animal to love and care for it. If that means that sometimes my partner and I can't go away together because there's no one to look after our dog, or we can't do something because we can't leave the dog - then that's our choice because we made a commitment to this wonderful fluffy, funny creature that shares our life.

It tells the kids the dog is more important.

No it doesn't.

It tells the kids that a dog is a BIG responsibility, not to be taken on lightly, and that just because things don't work out as you thought it is still up to you to ensure the safety and comfort of an animal you have taken into your home.

You don't just dump living creatures just because they are making life hard for you

I think it's a wonderful lesson.

OP - I also think the children will have a great time with their dad and be full of stories of the healthy ice-cream breakfasts etc they have revelled in for the week you were apart.

They will miss you of course - but they will still enjoy themselves and will look forward to giving you a present, even if it's just a pile of shells they've chosen specially for you out of the entire beach selection.

we could sit under a blanket on the sofa in complete silence, gently farting at each other.

This would be my ambition, too.

Yes, an owne rwho was considering rehoming their existing 4 year old dog to make the new dog's life easier

I got the impression that OP was trying to regime the younger of the dogs which were fighting. This dog was not only the aggressor, but because he was younger, would be a) more likely to get a new home and b) quicker to settle in a new home.

It was to relieve the stress on the older dog, not the puppy, that the re-homing was considered.

*re-home, not regime