Looking after DPs exes new baby.

[CupofFrothyCoffee]

DP has been split from his ex for years, they have 2 DC together who we have for weekends and holidays, they are 11 and 9. DP and I don't have any children together and don't want any more. I have 1 DC from a previous marriage, aged 8

His ex met her new partner about a year ago and is now pregnant, due next month. She works full-time as does her partner. When she told my DP about the new baby, she said "obviously we might need some help with child-care, it'd be much appreciated". DP thought she was joking and said "Oh our baby days are long gone but congratulations" and she said "Oh but you'll be having X and Y anyway so..." and it was left at that, as DP was a bit stunned and speechless.

Now, that is strange isn't it? Of course this is not an option is it? It's cheeky isn't it? I know she doesn't mean every time we have the older 2 kids but I think she thinks if she's stuck we can take new baby. AIBU to think it's a bit weird?

I’d be totally cool with taking having my DP’s ex’s youngest child on occasion, if we were going out for a child friendly day or in an absolute emergency. DP sometimes watches the ex’s DC in emergencies but usually at ex’s house. But on a regular basis and ‘expected’...no fucking way! CF!! What planet does she live on?!

I have two children with my ex, and pregnant with my third with my new partner (I say new, we’ve been together about 5 years). Anyway when my ex found out he was excited that he gets to look after a new child when he has the kids.
The way he sees it is that they will be one little gang and he wouldn’t want to ever split them up or make them feel any differently, so when he explained it I really appreciated it and realised how grateful he was that he feels that way.

The truth is i don’t need childcare, he only takes them out to kids places or meals or whatever, we mostly go out all together... but the fact he was thinking of them as a whole and how our kids together would see his gesture, was indeed incredibly well thought out and appreciated.

How grateful I was*

I'm veering between thinking this is hilarious cheeky fuckery and slightly scary stalkery. I think it's a bit scary that the baby isn't even born yet and she's trying to find a way to shoehorn it into her Ex's life . This has the potential to end badly IMO.

Have to agree the fact she brought it up and it wasn’t offered is super weird though

AlbertaSimmons

You know what, I think you're right. She never tells DP anything but couldn't wait to tell him about the baby. I suppose this is "none of his business" so why tell him?

This can't be right. I actually laughed out loud. Not only is it bonkers but what does her new bloke think of proposed arrangement? Very strange and I can't imagine he would be ok with it.
She's not playing with a full deck.

mzcracker

I'd love to know what her new bloke thinks of it but DP never gets to see him or speak to him at pick up or drop offs. DP knows him slightly from years ago and says he's a really quiet passive person so reckons he may just go along with it.

that really has to be one of the cheekiest things I’ve heard in a long time, and that’s saying something for MN.

YANBU

The situation with the eldest is different as your DP took on a parenting role and he is effectively the only father s/he knows.

There's also the large age gap. They're 9 & 11 now and there is a big difference between looking after children of those ages and a baby. By the time baby is 2 the older two will be at least 11 & 13 and will most likely be spending more time with their friends even if they do still come to you for the weekend.

There's no way I'd be providing free childcare for a toddler who needs a lot more attention than older children.

That is Cheeky Fucker with a cherry on top!

if that wasn’t a joke then I’d start putting a loose plan of how to deal with shit if she starts expecting the baby to come to you.

If she breaks up with new bloke and your already looking after their kid she might ask for extra money for the new baby ! 🙈😂

Er, in an emergency would be one thing and you might do that, but not just because 'you're having the older two anyway'! Sounds like she's suddenly realising she will lose all her child free time, and has taken you two for mugs who will help her out.

If she breaks up with new bloke and your already looking after their kid she might ask for extra money for the new baby

Haha now that would be funny. But I do wonder what if she breaks up with new bloke, It's all just happened so fast and I know she struggled at times with childcare for the 2 DCs on her days and sometimes I would step in if DP was working and I was free.

It's certainly a CF type of request if she really is asking your OH to look after her new baby. I would suggest that you need to say no to any such request, if it is indeed what she's asking. You know the saying, give an inch, she'll take a mile?

KalaLaka
Op's said she did mean them looking after the baby. It's quite clear in the first post:
she said "obviously we might need some help with child-care, it'd be much appreciated". DP thought she was joking and said "Oh our baby days are long gone but congratulations" and she said "Oh but you'll be having X and Y anyway so..."

New bloke won't last the distance. He's served his purpose. SWF alert!

I am actually speechless

Sorry that was meant to be a shocked face
She wins CF of the year award!!

Is she usually so crackers?

Is she usually so crackers?

Well she has been known to be very unreasonable in the past, do as I say or not seeing the kids again kind of thing, changing arrangements very last minute but since meeting new bloke she's been much more reasonable and things are hunky dory.

New bloke won't last the distance. He's served his purpose. SWF alert!

What does SWF mean

Single White Female. It was a film. Scary.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Single_White_Female

Oh yeah, I should've known that, loved that film.