Who is being U cafe owner or family?

[Hotcrossscotcheggs]

On my FB tonight a story came up and has been shared a LOT about a family who visited a cafe and ordered their food to then be asked to leave as their 3 year old was upset they also mentioned that 3 year old has additional needs.
The page of the cafe has been flooded with 1 star bad reviews since of people who haven't visited but thought the treatment of the family was horrendous.
The cafe then responded and said that they too have a lively 3 year old daughter/grandaughter and understand children can be loud and that this is fine. They also said that they didn't ask the family to leave just asked if they could get the children to simmer down a little as other customers had complained. They also said the mother left and said "I will ruin you".

I'm not sure how I feel about the whole situation having a nephew with asd and a boisterous 20 month old i understand how difficult eating out can be with kids however this lady's business has been totally slated online and the cafe has had 60+ bad reviews since the post was shared. I'm not sure both parties ate being 100% honest with thrir accounts of what happened.

Who do you think was being unfair?

Like you say, nobody knows the truth except for the people there.

If kids are incapable of being well behaved enough to function in a public place they ought to be removed or only go to places specifically child friendly. The owner said other customers had complained so I really doubt it was 'one small shriek' as dad claims on Facebook.

It wouldn't put me off going, far from it. If I was going alone without kids I'd find it appealing and be more likely to go!

What does 'upset' mean, though? Was the child screaming? Sobbing inconsolably?

It's a difficult to know who was BU on just hearsay.

I imagine it would take a lot for a face to ask a family to leave.

*for a family

*for a cafe

I really dislike people like this. Most people don't mind having kids in cafes. They do mind badly behaved kids, though. Slating someone's business because they were looking after their other customers is pretty poor, IMO.

Ah I'm assuming you have seen the posts Limon
The cafes Facebook page seems to have been taken down now?

I sympathise if the kids have additional needs, but it’s still not acceptable to inflict it on everyone else

The word you have omitted and changed for one that doesn’t really convey the requirements is disability.

If something is a symptom of a disability it is unacceptable and discriminatory to ask them to leave a venue because of it, sometimes that means everybody else in that venue has to put up with it

This is why I have deleted my FB account. Can no longer stand the chimp-like bitching that people thoughtlessly engage in on local pages without any understanding of how damaging it can be. Hope someone is standing up for the cafe owner who is clearly being bullied and is probably wondering how to face the day tomorrow.

She has had a fair bit of support too but I was thinking I wouldn't like to be her opening up shop tomorrow!

They are trying to ruin a small business. Whatever happened it seems a nasty and spiteful overreaction on the family's part. I hope the cafe doesn't end up closing over it. It doesn't take much to push little cafes into financial trouble.

I know someone who would do this.

Her kids are a fucking nightmare but if you dare to say a word then she would kick off, storm out and threaten all sorts. Then she would post all over FB about it. I will no longer go to any events where she will be with her kids, thankfully she has fallen out with so many people that she is rarely invited.

Cafe owners cant afford to upset families, so I am coming down on their side.

Family.

absolutely hate it when kids are kicking off in a public place

The problem with this is, everywhere outside of your home is generally a public place! Kids kick off and have tantrums, something we all need to understand. I’m never bothered by it. But if it’s one of my I remove them, or take them home.

The family may have been treated unfairly or may not, but I think it’s disgusting to run to social media to try to ruin a business with a woe is me tale.

Really difficult one unless you were also a customer at the café at the time and saw what really went down.
Both sides have a vested interest in their own version, of course, so the truth is never going to come from either of them - it needs an independent witness (or pref several) to say what THEY saw happen.

If the mother truly did say "I'm going to ruin you" then she's doing her damnedest to make sure that happens - but that's going to backfire on her because no one else is going to want to let her family in to eat in case she does the same thing to them!
Customers (plural) are not prone to complaining after "one small shriek" so it seems very unlikely that that was the sum of the disruption.
It also seems that the family left because they were asked to quieten the child down - which may not have been an option, depending on the level of the "additional needs".

I'd also wonder if the family have done this before in other places.

Too much speculation - a witness is required to make sense of what really happened.

What put me off more in public places is not how the children behave but how the adults behave and how they deal with their children.

*puts

If something is a symptom of a disability it is unacceptable and discriminatory to ask them to leave a venue because of it, sometimes that means everybody else in that venue has to put up with it

This is not necessarily true. Some time ago I was at a dog agility trial, and a family with a child with additional needs (about 7-8 years old) had come along to watch (members of the public often do, and most competitors are very accommodating, letting them pat their dogs, and talking about their breeds and the sport. But the child in this family wanted to run around all of the equipment like it was a play centre, and was being held at the side of the ring by their parent, and shrieking very loudly at not being allowed to play. Quite a number of times they got loose and ran onto the course whilst the dogs were trying to run. The screaming was actually really upsetting some of the dogs, which ruined their run. The child also would run up to dogs and grab at them, despite owners asking the parents not to let the child grab their dogs. The organisers ended up asking the family to leave, and the mother started yelling that it was discrimination and that they should allow her child to 'have a go'.

There are some places that just aren't suitable for some children, additional needs or not. My own son is still in the 'wanting to play on the equipment phase', so he stays home with a babysitter so as not to impact upon the event or other competitors until he understands that it is not there for him.

Some disruption is one thing, but seriously impacting other people is not.

If children are running around in a cafe then surely there is a health and safety issue as well as disturbing other customers. A cafe is a place where people are often walking around with trays of hot drinks and food so a child who isn't sitting at the table could easily be injured. I understand the principle of reasonable adjustments but surely nobody would suggest that a cafe owner allows a child to get injured rather than ask them to leave?

What puts me off more in public places is not how the children behave but how the adults behave and how they deal with their children.

^^this - or choose not to deal with their children

MidniteScribbler
That’s a ridiculous scenario. How dangerous for the child, who could have been hurt. Imagine if they had, the parents undoubtedly would have been willing to sue. Some parents are idiots. And I agree, reasonable adjustments, not throwing everyone including the person with additional needs under the bus.