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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this creepy?

129 replies

JapaneseCat · 31/03/2018 01:50

Chatting to someone new on tinder and we exchanged numbers. He’s a bit drunk and just messaged saying “now I’ve got your number the dick pic will follow!” Before saying “sorry that was a joke, I don’t get why people do that! Has it happened to you before?!” It made me feel a bit weird, too far or just banter?

OP posts:
ItMadeMyEyesWater · 01/04/2018 18:37

Crikey........Trevor Howard wouldn't have said that to Celia Johnson, in Brief Encounter. Where have all the well mannered gentlemen gone???

Havana7 · 01/04/2018 18:39

Isn’t that what tinder is for? Hook ups? I’m sure there’s the odd person on there looking for more but you always take a chance of chatting to someone who’s just using it for its main purpose. I do think he was joking though as everyone jokes about tinder dick pics

ToastyFingers · 01/04/2018 19:37

Meh, I quite like a dick pic. Not an unsolicited one though.

Indie139 · 01/04/2018 19:47

From the messages that follow I'd take it as just a joke

TenancyTroublesAgain · 01/04/2018 20:30

A joke... Take it as one.

Mountainsoutofmolehills · 01/04/2018 20:44

that would make me feel relaly uncomfortable and cringe. I wouldn't like it.

BigPinkBall · 01/04/2018 20:51

I tend to think that if you have to ask if something is creepy then it probably is.

I agree that it sounds like he’s testing the waters Confused

CardsforKittens · 01/04/2018 21:03

I wouldn't want any further involvement with a man who thinks it's funny to joke about sexual harassment with a woman he barely knows. Especially since he wanted to know whether you have been previously sexually harassed in this way. But I don't have much sense of humour about this kind of thing.

Certcert · 01/04/2018 21:20

Like you said, OP, it's the fact that he turned a non-sexual convo into a sexual one that bothered you. I think it would me.

ReanimatedSGB · 01/04/2018 23:08

Again, for the people at the back: Tindr is for hookups. It's for people who are looking for sex, so most people who use it want to find out, quite quickly, if the person they have made contact with is interested in having sex with them.

If you want a slower approach, and you like to get to know someone before sex is even mentioned, look elsewhere rather than wailing and panicking.

NachosGrandes · 01/04/2018 23:10

Tinder is really NOT just for hook-ups, plenty of my friends met on it and are now in committed relationships! Finding this attitude quite frustrating. And no it’s not ok for people to suddenly spring sex Ito the conversation at random

NoobThebrave · 01/04/2018 23:16

I saw your other post OP and you seem to be struggling with/over analysing the whole dating thing. Maybe just get out and meet some people and have fun. Some people play games/some don't.....some people feel awkward/some banter/some are shy, some people have a few beers and say harmless stuff/some have a few beers and are utter knobs! Test the waters, have some fun, find your tribe and hopefully someone who doesnt make you question their actions or yours.

Popc0rn · 01/04/2018 23:26

I think you need a break from tinder, you're overthinking things. He sent that at like 1.40am on a Saturday night...he was obviously drunk, and maybe horny with it too, so sex was probably on his mind yes. But he didn't actually send you a dick pic though. If you're not sure something is creepy or not, don't immediately reply to them!

MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 02/04/2018 06:39

That must also be why we don't send pictures of our vaginas

I imagine it's not easy to take a photo of a vagina Hmm But photos of vulvas? Of course women send them!

OutofSyncGirl · 02/04/2018 06:45

Anyone who talks about stuff like this early on is going to be a waste of your time.

This, I have learned from bitter experience.

TaytoAllDay · 02/04/2018 08:44

@outofsyncgirl - I totally agree with this, when they're more respectful its better than this stuff

PistFump · 02/04/2018 08:51

He's making a (albeit slightly misguided) joke don't be too harsh with him.

Joey7t8 · 02/04/2018 08:57

I think the bloke was definitely trying to test the waters and then backtracking claiming it was a shit joke, and that he would never do such a thing coz he was better than all the other men - a (self-appointed) ‘nice guy’.

By the way, women definitely do reciprocate with fanjo pics when the relationship has moved on to a stage where a sexy pic has been requested.

ilovesouthlondon · 02/04/2018 09:15

He was making a joke. I found it funny after reading it in correct context. You've found someone with a sense of humour!

OutofSyncGirl · 02/04/2018 09:20

It's not funny, believe me it's not. I used to think that too. If he had known her for some time then ok but men who do this before you've met really are only after one thing.

Gottagetmoving · 02/04/2018 09:32

Why anyone would be interested in a man who mentions his dick before you've even met, is baffling to me.😕
It shows where his mind is, and that's not really having any interest in you.

Eatsleepworkrepeat · 02/04/2018 09:41

Interesting thread, highlights the importance of compatibility I guess! Personally I would interpret it as a joke, and not at all creepy. I assume you're both young, I think from a man in his 20s I'd find it more acceptable than someone in their 40s.

TheStoic · 02/04/2018 09:46

How do YOU feel about the conversation?

Not what you think you should feel, what you do feel.

OutofSyncGirl · 02/04/2018 10:09

I'm willing to bet that this guy is not in his 20s...

Adversecamber22 · 02/04/2018 11:31

I see this as a joke but not that funny and wouldn't be for me.

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