For not paying for my sons mistake

[LLO7]

Hello,
My son and I were at my DM and DF house today and my DM left my DS unattended on their tablet while I was in the bathroom. My DS accidentally purchased £4 worth of game coins (he's 2 so didn't know what he was doing!). I was talking my DF through how to claim the money back and he said 'or we could just get the money back from you guys' I said 'no, you are the ones silly enough to leave him unattended on a unprotected tablet after I've told you not too' he just said 'well he's your son.' My phone then started to ring so that was conversation over. I know it's only £4 but AIBU for refusing to pay it after I have shown them how to password protect it, and warned a few times not to leave him unattended on it (and he could claim the money back via the app but wants to keep the game coins for free, without the hassle of talking to android) I don't have the best relationship with DF so not sure if I'm just being petty!

Why is a 2 year old left alone with an Internet-linked device to play with?

I would also pay them the 4 quid and then use up the coins

I don't think YABU. Posters saying you are tight are being mean. It's not the amount it's the action, if he was left any longer he could have spent a large sum of money. Hopefully this will show your DF what happens when you leave a toddler with a game with no password needed before you purchase. Might be the best £4 ever spent, lesson learned all round.

YANBU. It's not "just" £4, is it. It could have been much much more - should the OP pay up every time because the grandparents don't listen? No she shouldn't.
What she SHOULD do though is take the device and do the password protections herself, since they won't. And then it's sorted.

On principle you are right OP, but I can't believe a father and his grown up daughter are arguing over four poxy quid lol.It's beyond pathetic and your poor mother must be mortified.

Pay up this time but make it clear that you won't pay next time because they need to restrict the settings if they are going to let him play with it.

My son did this with Alexa. My parents found it hysterical, phoned Amazon to get it refunded, changed their settings so it won't happen again and now re-tell the story with affection. A much more typical reaction than your dad's surely.

My ds bought £150 of game-coins a few years ago on clash of clans which we knew nothing about until we got our credit card bill.

I can (almost) laugh about it now!

If your parents were supposed to be supervising your DS then they should pay or claim it back and not be so daft as to leave a toddler unattended with an iPad. Am also a bit gobsmacked at them charging for looking after him. I would never dream of charging my DD for looking after my DGD. Mind you I only look after her one day a week so I guess if they do it a lot that makes a difference

Well, it's £4, nothing for any of you to really get in a state over. But, they're asking you for it, after you warned them not to leave DS with tablet????
I'd give it to them saying, right I'll pay this time, but if you let it happen again, it's down to you....bet they get it password protected ASAP!

Your kid - your responsibility

Just read, they charge you for looking after DS....really????

OP let's get something clear. Your Son did not make a mistake. He's 2. He was doing what 2yos do - exploring the world around them and poking everything to find out what it is.

The person who made the mistake was whoever chose to leave ds unattended even if only for a minute. That's the person who takes the financial hit.

£2.10 an hour!!!!

Pay the £4 but get them to sign a receipt saying no more responsibility for any tablet related accidents.

Stop giving the 2 year old s tablet to play with. Stop allowing your phone to interrupt conversations with your parents / childcare.

Definitely YANBU. They were warned. You showed them how to prevent this. And you're paying them same as nursery. Their problem.

If your dad wants to spend the game coins that's fine - they're his, he's paid £4 for them!

Do you lot not like each other then?! WTAF would he ask you for £4, its your own father? That's his grandson? I'm incredulous.

No, don’t pay.

£4 is neither here nor there and I’m boggled that your Dad would ask for it. My Dad would have said ‘You were right love, we should have had a password on it, thank good it was only £4 😳😁’ ...but then my Dad wasn’t a twat that would give a child an unprotected tablet, for their sake, not his. Things like this make me so mad that my lovely Dad isn’t here anymore. It’s not bloody fair.

Make it very clear, THEIR tablet, THEIR problem - whether that’s purchases or damage. It’s not your responsibility and it’s certainly not your 2 year olds. Yes, you can teach them to be careful, but he’s two. You can’t expect him to be reliable in not dropping it, standing in it, or dropping something on it. If it got damaged you’d be way out of line to be angry with him about it, because he’s two.

Did one of your parents give up work specifically to look after DS?

YANBU.
I'd also be worried about them being your childcare, if they are happy to let a 2 yr old play on the internet unsupervised.
Have a chat with them about that. As someone else said, what if he drops it ? Or what if he accidentally does something else that ends up costing a lot more ? This isn't about the £4 per se, it is about the principle of if they are going to be your childcare, that they are looking after him in a responsible manner.

I would pay them the £4 but I’d be looking at alternative childcare. If they’re not savvy enough to password protect the iPad then are there any security settings on there at all? A 2 yr old with internet access could chance upon something much worse than accidentally buying coins if left alone.

You and your DP’s are both unbelievably tight for even having this conversation. Honestly, who even quibbles over £4.00. Seriously.

Both of the parties are at fault by the way. Each of you, parents as they have responsibilities for their child’s actions and GP’s for not locking the IPad but seriously!!£4.00!!!!!!

But it's not about the amount.... it's about the Grandparents - who the OP is paying for childcare - not supervising a 2 yr old sensibly. It is lucky that on this occasion it was "only £4", but it shouldn't have been anything. Who lets a 2 yr old play unsupervised on any device, quite frankly, but especially one without password protected access to the internet.

I would give them the four pounds but I would also sit down together and have a discussion about the problems of letting children onto devices without being properly supervised. It could be a lot more than a few quid next time if he does something that damages the device, downloads malware, buys somethings more expensive or is exposed to something age-inappropriate. They may need some help with password-protecting the device, and also learning about the risks involved in not doing so.

If your parents are not good at entertaining children for a few minutes while you are in the shower, it might be a good idea to set your son up with some things to keep him busy at such times, like toys, play dough or whatever.

Oh--you are paying them for childcare?

In which case, they need to have better ways of entertaining children than letting them goof around with tablets.

You were in the bathroom, but your son is still your responsibility, how long were you in the bathroom for? They have a tablet, every kid mucks around on a tablet, he is 2, does he even know what he is doing? They are unreasonable to quibble over 4 pounds and you are unreasonable to not pay it. No win here. The issue sounds much deeper than the actual event.

Can't you just do whatever needs to be done to return the coins yourself next time you're at your parents?

Tell Dad you'll take care of it on the iPad next time you're there and NOT to 'spend' the coins. And that if he does, you aren't paying him for them as HE used them.