For not paying for my sons mistake

[LLO7]

Hello,
My son and I were at my DM and DF house today and my DM left my DS unattended on their tablet while I was in the bathroom. My DS accidentally purchased £4 worth of game coins (he's 2 so didn't know what he was doing!). I was talking my DF through how to claim the money back and he said 'or we could just get the money back from you guys' I said 'no, you are the ones silly enough to leave him unattended on a unprotected tablet after I've told you not too' he just said 'well he's your son.' My phone then started to ring so that was conversation over. I know it's only £4 but AIBU for refusing to pay it after I have shown them how to password protect it, and warned a few times not to leave him unattended on it (and he could claim the money back via the app but wants to keep the game coins for free, without the hassle of talking to android) I don't have the best relationship with DF so not sure if I'm just being petty!

I'd hand over the £4 but warn them that it's definitely the only time, so if they don't lock it down and he runs up a higher bill in future - not your problem.

It's essential to password protect iPads if you're allowing young children to use them. Since the OP did warn them, it is their own fault. But I think if it was me I'd probably pay the £4, as it's not worth falling out over, and then make sure the iPad was password protected in the future so this didn't happen again.

I reckon this thread is going to end up in the daily mail as an example of the petty frothing of mothers.

Just give them the £4 and be done with it.

Just pay £2 each?

Also your nursery sounds like a bargain!

Of course you should have paid, I can't believe you wouldn't.

Sunnycoco- yes it is a church nursery so very reasonable charges! Think it is £2 a day for a lunch too :)

Yes I think it may well end up in the Daily Mail aka the Vile Amoral Misogynistic Racist Homophobic Trash-rag. Hello you horrors!

YANBU not to pay.
It's not about £4 , it's about who should be responsible for child's actions.
GPs were watching your DS and they gave him tablet ( you didn't ask for this) so they were responsible.
Your DF's attitude seems very strange for me, and the whole situation is too business like honestly as you are paying for childcare.

If they cost the same as local childcare and they are leaving your son unattended on equipment that isn't password protected and could get broken I would be going with the nursery.

If he broke it you would have paid? Really? I think that's ridiculous. My parents would never ask me for money if my kids broke something on their watch. Doesn't mean I wouldn't offer but they wouldn't take it.

OP that’s great, lovely to hear that affordable childcare does exist somewhere! Best of luck with the iPad issue x

YANBU

Dd ran up a huge mobile phone bill ins schooltrip abroad after my dad gave her a an uncapped contract phone for Christmas (I told him a contract was a bad idea & I would get her a PAYG or capped bundle)

He realised his mistake.

I'd give them the £4 and sit there and spend all the game coins.

Now THAT would be petty

Decide your stance and stick to it. eg It's your ipad, it's up to you if you leave it around for a 2 year old to play with. Repeat firmly and assertively as often as necessary.

I’d pay the £4, you just sound tight to be honest.

Are you really all that short of money where you will argue over 4£? I guess you must be.

Personally I'd pay, but if none of you can afford the four pounds maybe you can split it two pounds each.

I'd then password protect it so that your son doesn't spend money none of you have in future.

Given that you are paying them for childcare (as opposed to just visiting), shouldn’t they be supervising him far more closely while he is in their care?

Pay the £4. Tell them not to let him use the iPad again.

I can’t believe they asked you for the FOUR pounds - so so petty. I wouldn’t give them the money out of principle

I wouldn't pay. The next it could be £20, then £100. Where do you draw the line when they're too stubborn to learn.

I don't have the best relationship with DF so not sure if I'm just being petty!

Not surprised you don't have the best relationship, you are two peas in a pod stubbornly not backing down for the sake of4 quid.

Yanbu. They gave him the tablet. If an adult makes a choice to hub something to a child they do so knowing the risks.

It's one of the reasons certain things in my house are out of bounds. I can't afford to replace them.

All this for £4?????

Not surprised you don't have the best relationship, you are two peas in a pod stubbornly not backing down for the sake of4 quid

That’s not a fair way to look at it.

The op ...
Pays them for the childcare
Showed them how to protect the tablet from purchases
Had no part in the kid being on the tablet in the first place.

And the dad just wanted the coins for free

Give them them money. A 2 year old on an iPad is so sad.

Your parents are beyond mean! There’s no way they should have left the tablet without supervision or a password! It’s 4 quid! They should count themselves lucky it wasn’t 400!