Or is she going ott?

[Scrambledheads]

I'm a member of a class group on Facebook for parents to share information, school trips, clubs etc. Last week there was a class trip to a local castle and the weather was really terrible. One of the mums posted on the morning of the trip saying 'Welly weather then' and I commented below saying 'looks like it, as long as they are well fitting as there are lots of twisty narrow stairs in the tower which are slippy when wet'. I wrote this knowing a notification would go out to other parents, most of whom won't have been to the castle and might not know about the twisting stone stairs.
I received a message from the mum who had made the original post and it said 'I've brought up an 18 year old on my own successfully so don't need your input. I was embarrassed and patronised by your comment and no longer feel able to post on the page'
I replied saying it wasn't directed at her but to warn parents who hadn't been there before, and that I didn't mean to be patronising at all. She then replied saying 'don't like being told what to do? No you wouldn't like that. I put up with this the first time round but not any more. My daughter has an unconditional offer to uni and I'm a great single mum so I don't need your advice'.
I should add that I've never had direct contact with this woman before. I can't help but feel tense that she thinks I was deliberately trying to patronise her... AIBU or is she reading too much into it??

Surely the kids would have wellies that actually fitted though? I would have thought that's a given. Plus wellies have rubber soles so unlikely to slip compared to many other shoes.

Am I the only one who thought this was about kindergartners or year 1 kids?! They’re talking about children aged 16+ if the daughter has a university offer. Wtf are both of you on about discussing weather and footwear for a school trip??? Don’t your children have brains enough to figure this out for themselves??!

Actually thinking about it if OP was patronizing to mention wet steps then the other woman was patronizing telling everyone that it was welly weather. Didn't she realise that everyone else could look out the window and see it was raining?

well-fitted wellies???

On the grounds that 99.9% of children have £7.99 wellies from shoe zone and won't exactly be well-fitted... you sound a bit up your own arse tbh OP.

Her reply was seriously OTT, but honestly OP... well-fitted wellies 😂

but some people do need you to actually tell them!

Case in fucking point, what a patronizing attitude.

Most people don't want to be "told" how to be a decent parent by another parent, thanks.

If her kid has an unconditional offer to uni surely they're big enough to decide by themselves what footwear they want!

I don’t think it was patronising. I gave convos like this with people Quite often no one gets offended either way, usually turns into a joke or a bit of banter back and forth. Sounds like she’s a bit straight laced. Or probably doesnt have a sense of humour. Although I really don’t get how you mentioning well fitting wellies has anything to do with her duties as a single mother. Sounds like she’s projecting for whatever reason.

In answer to posters wondering why she is so offended and embarrassed I would imagine that it was because it was a direct reply to her comment about wellies so it looked as if op was only telling her not the whole group.
I think I would be a little embarrassed and taken aback if it was a direct reply. A post to the group I would've thought op was being helpful if a little patronising with it but wouldve given the benefits of the doubt

Never give anyone advice. Not even if they ask for it.

Oh wait...

I didn't think there was anything patronising about your comment OP.

Unfortunately people read way too much into what other say on social media. They alway infer criticism it seems.

I wouldn't think twice about what you wrote and I'm generally a stressed out, short fuse kind of person. This woman must be living her life on the edge of sanity

'As long as they are well fitting' is the problem but she's massively overreacted!

Maybe she had her unconditional offer baby when she was young and other parents made her feel like she didn't know what she was doing.

I don't think your comment is patronising! I'd find it helpful. My children spent a lot of time outdoors and have wellies and decent fitting walking boot type shoes - your comment would have made me put them in the latter that day. She's very OTT but I'd probably still send an apology and she sounds very sensitive.

Give us an idea of other things you have posted on the page.
She may have been quietly seething about other stuff that you've posted and this was the straw that broke the camels back.
I do think your comment was patronising but her reaction was OTT.

Her Monkey not yours shrug shoulders move on - its not like you are going to want to be besties with that attitude

I detest being told what to do and am hypersensitive to being patronised, and even I thought your comment was totally fine, OP. The other mum is a complete and utter twat. Don't give her another thought. And maybe don't take the criticism you've had on this thread too seriously either.

You didn't mean to be patronising, but from the reactions here it seems clear that many people would interpret your advice this way. The reaction was OTT, but you don't know her or, therefore, her situation, maybe she's simply having a bad day. Maybe you'd be best to forget about it? Even if she's like this all the time, it doesn't sound like you need to be involved with this woman at all, unless you want to apologise or something?

I dont think it was a patronising post at all. Surprised so many peoplr think it is. I certainly wouldnt jump to the conclusion that you are one of 'those' parents. Which is just weird. Stay away from her OP. Too touchy.

She was patronising in assuming that other people would not have been to a castle and know about circular stone steps.

Well, you were a bit patronising tbf.

In all honesty I would have found your comment patronising and unnecessary too, but I wouldn't have confronted you about it (I'd just have bitched to my DH...). I think she overreacted but also you should watch that you aren't overly patronising on the group.

You were really patronising, but yes, she was OTT as well. You both sound like people I'd avoid.

Just to clarify - I've never spoken to her, so when she said about 'the first time' she is talking about people commenting on her parenting with her first born (the 18 year old). I've never met the older daughter. I was making reference to our five year olds, and I mentioned about wellies and stairs because I got warned about it when I visited. It was in a huge amount of other comments on there, generally chatting but she obviously thought it was directed at her even though I explained otherwise. Thanks for replies

I didn't think your comment was patronising either, but it doesn't matter what I think. I'd avoid her from now on, and wouldn't respond to anything she posts in future.

I wouldn't worry about it too much, I think she's way OTT and defensive.

Sure you won't be the only parent she's had a go at.

You both sound like fucking hard work.

The suggestion is that there are some kids running around with legs poking into wellies like a wrist into a wizard's sleeve.

Which is actually true, so why react like that?

I would have found your comment patronising and twatty and might have had a gentle bitch about you to my pals. Her reaction was OTT, but maybe reflect before you post - other people aren't necessarily stupid and don't need your unsolicited 'advice', however well meant.