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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My sister is claiming to be a rape and anorexia survivor.

74 replies

IvyandHolly · 28/03/2018 11:53

My younger sister has thousands of followers across multiple social media accounts (she has 12 Instagram accounts alone) and she is gaining more by the day telling people that she's a rape and sexual abuse survivor, that she beat anorexia, and that's she's consistently bullied and has tried to kill herself multiple times. None of this is true.

Any time any of our family tries to reach out to her when she crosses a line on something (she made a very racist post recently) she goes online and talks about how she is ‘bullied’ by her family, and that it's going to make her kill herself. Then she proceeds to jump on all of her accounts and send multiple threatening messages, even making new accounts to get around bans.

I told her months ago I was done, and to never contact me again and blocked whatever I knew she had. She's taken to posting pictures of my DCs on her social media accounts with their full names, making up stories that I'm abusing them and that she takes care of them. She has not seen my DCs in years because I didn't want her influencing them that way. But now her followers have started trying to find ways to contact and harass me as well, because of this. I got Instagram to remove the pictures from some of her accounts, but she just moves to another and does it there and it starts again.

What do i do to make it stop?

OP posts:
fuzzywuzzy · 28/03/2018 11:57

I think this warrants speaking to the police as she is pretty much stalking and harrassing you and putting you and your children at risk.

I've similar issuies with sister who has made up an entire fantasy life on social media where she is a terrible victim, I never attempted to engage with her as she loves drama, she harrassed me for ages too eventually she gave up as I refused to engage.

Phosphorus · 28/03/2018 11:58

Go to the police.

GobbyLino · 28/03/2018 12:00

Screenshot everything. Do you still have correspondence between the 2 of you? Text messages or anything? Go to the police. This is really weird behaviour has she had any involvement with mental health services?

Trueheart1 · 28/03/2018 12:01

You must contact the police. This is sustained harassment that could put you and your DCs in danger. She can be prosecuted for this although the police will probably only give her a caution. She is inviting strangers into your life and the lives of your children. They could turn up at your door and attack you. Some of her followers will probably contact social services. You must act immediately for your own and your children's safety. If she ignores the police caution she can easily be prosecuted.

Pickleypickles · 28/03/2018 12:02

I agree if its got to the point where random people are trying to find out your childrens address and who you are i think the police need to be iñvolved.

retirednow · 28/03/2018 12:04

Report this to the police, keep screenshots and go NC.

ToriRay · 28/03/2018 12:06

My advice would be to speak to the police. She is massively putting your children at risk by sharing information in these sites with lots of strangers. Police should give you advice about how you can safeguard yourself and your family. Ask them to do a risk assessment, and perhaps seek independent legal advice about any civil safeguards you can take out. Really sorry you are in this horrendous situation.

Knittedfairies · 28/03/2018 12:08

Good advice upthread.

theeyeofthestormchaser · 28/03/2018 12:09

What they all said ^

She sounds deranged.

ReanimatedSGB · 28/03/2018 12:10

Police and solicitors. I am so sorry you are having to put up with this. Your sister has clearly got some sort of MH problems to be acting in such an extreme manner, though TBH it is not impossible that this is a result of some kind of abuse or trauma (not implying that it is necessarily a family member who harmed her: someone who was attacked by an acquaintance or a stranger may project their distress onto others.) But whatever is driving her is not your fault and she has no right to make it your problem.

PinkHeart5914 · 28/03/2018 12:11

Blimey, what kind of fucked up individual lies about such things.

Block her on all media
If you are on social media and upload photos of dc, I’d stop for now as she’s getting pics of your dc from somewhere.
Don’t speak to her until this fucking weird behaviour stops

AnnieAnoniMouser · 28/03/2018 12:11

Agree with everyone else. Screenshots of everything & go to the police.

DairyisClosed · 28/03/2018 12:12

Send a stop and desist letter then take her to court for libel. She will be barred by the court from posting further libelous claims and you will receive damages.

BaldricksTrousers · 28/03/2018 12:13

So until we got to the harassment part, I would say YABU for getting involved...it's not a crime to lie about yourself on social media. But YWDNBU to get the police involved, the bit about your kids is absolute madness! She sounds like she's living in a fantasy world which is massively intruding on her real life, and she's now dragging your children into it. Do go to the police OP.

Ginkypig · 28/03/2018 12:15

Screenshot and police now.

Make evidence of all her accounts and any evidence of followers trying to trace you.

If this was a stranger it would be seen as harassment and possibly in the realms of stalking but I'm no expert so police are your first port of call.

Has she got any mental health issues that could be fuelling this very odd behaviour? Not that it matters really, it's just that if she was ill rather than just fucking horrible it might help to make you feel better that your sister is doing this to you.

I'm sorry this is happening to you and your family it must be awful for you. Flowers

user1483387154 · 28/03/2018 12:16

absolutely involve the police

Poptart4 · 28/03/2018 12:18

Definitely report her to the police.

I would also get a solicitor to send her a very threatening letter. You can sue her for defamation of character.

bigKiteFlying · 28/03/2018 12:22

Police - I'd also be wondering about some independent legal advice see what can be done to stop this harassment.

I'd also be thinking about a chat with HT if the children are primary school aged just so they are aware of a slight potential increased risk to the children.

Momo18 · 28/03/2018 12:23

I've met ppl like this, they thrive on attention from fake dramas, fake illnesses usually too. Definitely goto the police, she's way crossed the line.

UnsuspectedItem · 28/03/2018 12:25

Bloody hell. Sounds like a police job, she sounds seriously unwell

HollyBayTree · 28/03/2018 12:26

Send a stop and desist letter then take her to court for libel. She will be barred by the court from posting further libelous claims and you will receive damages.

And the courst case will cost you about 300K as its a civil prosecution - as ever, treat any legal advice on here with a very large pinch of salt.

www.gov.uk/guidance/queens-bench-division-bring-a-case-to-the-court

HollyBayTree · 28/03/2018 12:28

Deformation -

www.justice.gov.uk/courts/procedure-rules/civil/rules/part53/pd_part53

UpstartCrow · 28/03/2018 12:28

If she is on Instagram, report the photos of your children.

help.instagram.com/372161259539444

UpstartCrow · 28/03/2018 12:29

Document everything and get screen shots before you report, then go to the police.

thanksjaneshusbandatcaresouth · 28/03/2018 12:29

don't get distracted by the libel nonsense.