It's a shame that only one conclusion was ALLOWED here.
I would like to talk about how women can be proactive about invisible-proofing their lives so that the social isolation and the reduced opportunity doesn't impact on their happiness.
The OP may be a lazy shite Daily Mail McJourno for all we know, if she isn't there's still always one reading, and I would hate to read in the DM tomorrow that ''mumsnetters say Women are less valuable after xx age'', [GAVEL], presented as though it were fact and not the result of the patriarchy that we can all rail against more successfully if we aren't invalidating other women's experiences...
So, I can understand why the discussion was just shut down, but it was a missed opportunity to exchange information.
I remember feeling quite powerful at forty. I knew myself. I'd forgiven myself. I felt good, I looked good. I was at the start of a new decade with a plan. I had potential. I had optimism. I wasn't considered past-in even amongst the 25 year olds! I knew I valued myself, but I felt valued by Society. I thought that the result of ageing would be that men I fancied wouldn't fancy me back. BUT it is SO much more than that. You're edged out in the workplace. Your own family stop wondering if you'll ever meet somebody. People would be surprised if you met somebody.
Fast forwarding from 40 to about 50 and there is a palpably diminished appetite to interivew me, hire me, invest in me, date me, commit to me, invite me, include me, TALK to me, or just even to let. me. finish my sentence!
Older women in secure relationships are immune to a large part of what I describe because married women aren't pitied, socially isolated, nor are they at the highest risk of economic hardship.
Women who are still married in their 50s do not honestly know for certain that NONE of their self worth comes from being one half of a strong couple. Strong together as a couple yes but stronger as a unit in society. Being half of a unit is understood. Respected. Supported. Valued. So, again, I dare to suggest that married women don't fully understand. Or at least, they don't experience the worst of the devaluation.
I am perfectly capable of noticing that it is different for older single women without internalising those observations in to self-doubt. I believe there is more useful advice to exchange than ''value yourself''.
I enjoy mixed company but I'm accepting a future with very few men in it and financially I plan to reduce as much as possible the need for any for approval from any person of authority who is likely to be a man.
I have no expectation that this female-led future will be any less happy than when I was young, pretty and visible.
I'm still gorgeous but I'm 47, it's more the 'pleasant appearance' category now. People will smile at a pleasant face still. But in a decade I will miss this phase!
If anybody's reading this but is too afraid to admit that they are dealing with this adjustment for fear that they'll be slapped down with the same trite ol' lecture to love themselves, Loudes Viado phd has a good series of podcasts on you tube. I also read 'if women rose rooted' by sharon blackie a good read for women needing ......more and wanting to connect with something meaningful as they age. As well as ''how to be free'' (of the expectations and expenses of captialist society. I feel 'free-er' after reading the book).
There's so much more I could write about the things that have helped me and if there's ever a thread where this subject can be discussed more honestly and supportively then I look forward to the exchange that this thread could have been.
To anybody whose armour is so robust that there's not a single chink in it as you age, namaste