Fake engagement ring

[Poppy1324]

I got engaged 2 years ago and married a year ago, my engagement ring is huge, very eye catching and gets lots of attention. A few people have commented about how much it must have cost and people have said it’s 2 carat at least, my husband has always said it is a diamond and made comments about how much it set him back.

Several people have said it’s worth a fortune and I’ll have to get it insured, my husband agreed and said he’ll have to do it and he will give receipt to insurance so I don’t see how much he spent. A few weeks ago someone said it must be 15-20k worth of diamond! Now we don’t have that kind of money so I assumed they must be mistaken and put it out of my mind, then last weekend I was at a dinner and a friends husband who’s a jeweller noticed the ring made a huge fuss of it,his wife compared her ring which was half the size and then they chatted quietly to each other looking at the 2 rings and looked at me with what I can only describe as mixture of sympathy and confusion as they gave it back.

I probably shouldn’t have done this but it’s been playing on my mind, I know the name of the store so I just looked it up, found the exact ring and it’s cubic zirconia, it’s still lovely and it is expensive although obviously not 15k expensive.

I don’t have expensive things, never have, it’s always made me cringe the thought he has spent so much on a ring, it felt wrong when we have struggled for money and we have friends and family around us struggling to make ends meet. Although I was obviously happy to be engaged I’m not really the attention seeking type and I’ve always felt embarrassed at the huge amount of attention this ring gets.

I feel a bit uncomfortable now wearing a massive flashy attention seeking fake ring and pretending it’s a diamond, I don’t know much about diamonds, obviously! However other people do and I feel a bit embarrassed to wear it now I know.

I don’t know how much my husband knows about jewellery, perhaps he saw it was sparkly and assumed it was a diamond or more likely he has lied about it this whole time. I have happily worn it for 2 years and I don’t want to upset him or be ungrateful for what is still a lovely and expensive ring.

Do I ask him about it or just carry on wearing it, the majority of people won’t examine it and I’d guess most wont realise so does it really matter anyway.

But if you go with your made up version of the jeweller’s comments, that will make you a liar too.

Can you not show him the advert you have found online and say, “Is this my ring?” Whatever his response, you can then tell him what actually happened with the jeweller, and that as much as you love the ring, you feel really embarrassed about people thinking you have been misled and so you would rather know the truth.

Depending what that is, and how it makes you feel about the ring, you could talk about replacing it with one you chose together.

Sorry op the dishonesty would really upset me and that he is happy for you to look dishonest too. I can't believe he didn't know the truth about the stone. I'm not sure I could ever trust anything else he said if he can lie about something so meaningful - especially as he chose an ostentatious ring knowing that you would prefer something more low key anyway. He doesn't come out of this looking very good, I hope you get a big, big apology at the weekend.

My ring isn't diamond. It's only in the last 50 years or so that most people have went for diamond engagement rings

It’s sad that he lied and that he got you something so cheap yet says ‘she’s worth it’ when people assume it’s expensive.

It’s nothing to do with your ‘worth’ - what makes it sad is that he obviously thinks an expensive ring shows what you mean to him and he’s bought a £300 one.

I’d rather a £300 ring from a man who knows that the cost of it has nothing to do with its meaning. Oh and one who wouldn’t and couldn’t lie to my face repeatedly

@FullLaundryBasket

I don't think the OP cares about the diamond - it's the lieing and being made to look a full.

I'd want a ruby on my engagement ring, if someone got me one and said it was real then I found out it was fake, I'd be angry at the lie. It doesn't matter what the stone is.

I would be less caring that the ring was not diamond and more caring about the fact your dh has been deliberately lying to you that is was a diamond. By wanting to insure it himself he has shown he knew it not to be a diamond. In any case to insure a ring costing more than £2000 you have to have it valued and send in certificate of valuation to insurers. I have a 1ct diamond and when you purchase, it has a unique number and you get a certificate that states the stones clarity, colour and cut. I would talk to him and tell him you do not want to be lied to. I would still wear ring if you like it but if anyone asks if it is a diamond would just say it was a gift.

*fool

Of he does think he bought I diamond ring that size for £300 then he is as thick as pig shit. He knows, what a liar.

I would cringe inside out at the idea people were thinking I was passing a fake diamond off as real. Totally unacceptable.

This ring is not about me it’s about him showing off

And I think this one sentence nails it.

An engagement ring should be a statement of love, a promise, a commitment, instead of which he has made it about him showing off. That's why it hurts. He was dishonest to allow him to show off and he was dishonest about something so important.

The thing is the ring is now tarnished in your mind. Every time you look at it it will remind you of his dishonesty and what he did. There is no way on earth this man thought he was buying a 2-5 carat diamond for 300 quid.

I also think you have a fight on your hands because he will deny it till it reaches such a level he has no option but to admit it.

Don't play games, showing him pics ( he will simply say it is a replica of your ring) and he will continue to say it's real and act all hurt. If I was you I'd pop into a jeweller and confirm it, then say to him look I went to have this valued and it's cubic zirconia, I also found it on line for 300quid. I don't care what it's made of, but I care you lied to me, made me look foolish and lied to all my friends and family.

If you love it, and him, wear it with the same pride with which you have always worn it

My engagement ring wasn’t a diamond, not CZ, something else. People would say ‘what a beautiful diamond’ was a bit awkward to say it wasn’t a diamond but I had to. Ended up ‘upgrading’ to a smaller diamond to avoid that convo.

But anyway your DH sounds like a flashy geezer that’s made you feel bad 😔 and you should definitely tell him to give up the act.

I'm probably going to get it but I would disappointed. I'm all for having what you can afford but that's what a man saves and does without for, not to hoodwinked you with a dress ring. A CZ ring is really a dress ring in my opinion, it's unlikely to last forever and would likely be less hard wearing than a expensive diamond ring. To me this is like presenting a primark bag as a Hermes bags. However, if you really like it that what counts.

There’s always the possibility (and I think the chances are very slim) that he did pay that & has been skanked

Unless he bought it down the pub or at a car boot sale, no one told him it was diamond. I'm not saying jewellers never rip people off, but they don't pass off £300 cubic zirconia as £15k+ diamonds. It also clearly came from a chain store, as OP could Google it. There is no way he was scammed - he knows what he did.

If you love it, and him, wear it with the same pride with which you have always worn it

Personally I'd find that impossible. Because every time I looked at it I'd remember his lies. It would be a constant reminder to me. I wouldn't wear the ring again and I simply couldn't wear it with pride. I'd also have to tell people it was fake of the ring came up in conversation.

@BaronessBomburst

Is it Asscher cut?

Diamonique do some, I remember the lovely cut from one of their appearances on QVC. This is the first one I googled.
www.qvcuk.com/Michelle-Mone-for-Diamonique-51ct-tw-Asscher-Cut-Ring-Sterling-Silver.product.698726.html

If anyone's looking for a real stone that's impressive to look at and has a similar fire to diamond, but way below diamond prices, check out zircon.

I'd be fuming too at the fakery op he's the idiot not you

He is well paid so he could have afforded thousands

Sorry OP, but this fucking sucks.

@BlankTimes Thank you! I'll have a proper look later.

The thing is it's such a horrible situation to be in.

The wedding band is cut to fit it. So without the engagement ring it's hard to wear the wedding band.
If she continues to wear it she either also starts lying to people and pretending it's real or she has to come clean and admit he has been lying to her, both of which are embarrassing,
If she starts wearing something else she needs to explain why, that he'd been lying and she doesn't want to wear the ring due to his dishonesty. Or make up a story and lie herself.

She pretty much has to wear no rings to avoid lying. It's horribly awkward and an awful situation to put her in. This is a lie that he needed to keep going for a lifetime, was bound to be detected and was always going to cause hurt.

Pretty shitty thing for him to
Do OP

Mines CZ, I’d be mortified if my DH has spent that amount on a diamond as it would have been a fortune we could better spend elsewhere.

It’s also an in joke as a book series we bonded over at the beginning of our relationship has a character who orders CZ jewellery from QVC to eat

The only thing that worries me in this is that it sounds like your dp has been a bit underhand/dishonest with you about the ring.

Yes bluntness you’ve summed it up, I’ve taken both rings off and can’t imagjne wearing either with any sense of pride and while hoping they don’t draw attention and force me into an awkward conversation.

For anyone thinking he may have been ripped off he bought it from the shop the name was in the box which is how I knew where to look online.

I feel so sorry for you OP, I would feel incredbly embarrassed in your shoes.

Personally I couldn’t wear it again, mainly because it sounds like the sort of ring that attracts attention so you will always be caught in this lie.

He needs to start again. And he needs to spend real money this time, with you choosing exactly what you feel comfortable with. In time you will be able to tell all your family and friends the amusing story of the bling ring and how it ended up costing him twice.