Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fake engagement ring

518 replies

Poppy1324 · 27/03/2018 13:53

I got engaged 2 years ago and married a year ago, my engagement ring is huge, very eye catching and gets lots of attention. A few people have commented about how much it must have cost and people have said it’s 2 carat at least, my husband has always said it is a diamond and made comments about how much it set him back.

Several people have said it’s worth a fortune and I’ll have to get it insured, my husband agreed and said he’ll have to do it and he will give receipt to insurance so I don’t see how much he spent. A few weeks ago someone said it must be 15-20k worth of diamond! Now we don’t have that kind of money so I assumed they must be mistaken and put it out of my mind, then last weekend I was at a dinner and a friends husband who’s a jeweller noticed the ring made a huge fuss of it,his wife compared her ring which was half the size and then they chatted quietly to each other looking at the 2 rings and looked at me with what I can only describe as mixture of sympathy and confusion as they gave it back.

I probably shouldn’t have done this but it’s been playing on my mind, I know the name of the store so I just looked it up, found the exact ring and it’s cubic zirconia, it’s still lovely and it is expensive although obviously not 15k expensive.

I don’t have expensive things, never have, it’s always made me cringe the thought he has spent so much on a ring, it felt wrong when we have struggled for money and we have friends and family around us struggling to make ends meet. Although I was obviously happy to be engaged I’m not really the attention seeking type and I’ve always felt embarrassed at the huge amount of attention this ring gets.

I feel a bit uncomfortable now wearing a massive flashy attention seeking fake ring and pretending it’s a diamond, I don’t know much about diamonds, obviously! However other people do and I feel a bit embarrassed to wear it now I know.

I don’t know how much my husband knows about jewellery, perhaps he saw it was sparkly and assumed it was a diamond or more likely he has lied about it this whole time. I have happily worn it for 2 years and I don’t want to upset him or be ungrateful for what is still a lovely and expensive ring.

Do I ask him about it or just carry on wearing it, the majority of people won’t examine it and I’d guess most wont realise so does it really matter anyway.

OP posts:
Unktious · 27/03/2018 19:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Appuskidu · 27/03/2018 19:16

I’m amazed you didn’t look up the ring online before if you knew what shop it was from-I wouldn’t have been able to resist! Did you really think it was real even when people were asking if you were marrying a footballer?!

I think he’s made a total fool of himself-and you really. At that size, I would imagine people would be thinking either it’s a fake diamond and it’s embarrassing that you haven’t realised or it’s a fake diamond and you are lying about it!

I also wouldn’t be able to trust a word that came out of my husband mouth.

Goldmonday · 27/03/2018 19:20

People are clearly falling for it if the only person to figure it out is a jeweller!! I would keep wearing it.

caringcarer · 27/03/2018 19:31

I think I once read somewhere a man should spend approximately 2-3 months salary on an engagement ring. If your dh could afford thousands and chose to spend only £300 on you and on a ring that was not in your taste or style and then kept on saying she is worth it etc. just to make himself look good to your friends I would go mad and throw it at him. It is disgusting behaviour to exhibit to a person he is asking to marry him and to carry on with the lie knowing people will be laughing at you behind your back is awful. I would not let him get away with this. I would ask for another one you choose yourself and I hope if you ever have an eternity ring you pick it out yourself and get exactly what you want.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 27/03/2018 19:35

It's such a foolish lie. Something he'd have to keep up for his entire married life How on earth did he think he could keep that up?

He wasn't under pressure to produce expensive diamonds. You're not materialistic or into big jewellery. It was pure vanity on his part.

I mean, if you had financial difficulties in the future, behind with a mortgage or something you could have put all your hopes in selling the ring to free up thousands of pounds, only to be devastated when you realised it was worthless. Shock

Monoblock67 · 27/03/2018 19:35

Can we please see a picture of the ring? Or a link to the website?

Appuskidu · 27/03/2018 19:47

I think I once read somewhere a man should spend approximately 2-3 months salary on an engagement ring

Should?

Said who? De Beers?!

FATEdestiny · 27/03/2018 19:50

For anyone thinking he may have been ripped off he bought it from the shop the name was in the box which is how I knew where to look online

Was it Beaverbrooks?

They have several decent solitaire/halo CZ rings.

altiara · 27/03/2018 19:52

Why should a man spend 2-3 months salary on a ring? That’s ridiculous! Surely a house deposit is better?

OP- can you also ask why he decided on this ultra flashy massive rock when you’re more low key and subtle?
The whole combination of lies, continuing to lie and appearing to enjoy the lies is bad enough but the fact you wouldn’t ever choose that type of ring yourself so it’s clearly for his benefit would make me so mad!

Unktious · 27/03/2018 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl · 27/03/2018 19:53

"People are clearly falling for it if the only person to figure it out is a jeweller!!"

Not necessarily.

They might know he couldn't have afforded a diamond that size & wonder why he's lying!

Avasarala · 27/03/2018 19:59

@caringcarer

Traditionally, it was 1 months salary. But that was back before equality and all that.

expatinscotland · 27/03/2018 20:03

That sucks that he lied.

Appuskidu · 27/03/2018 20:05

People are clearly falling for it if the only person to figure it out is a jeweller!!

I suspect not!

I suspect the only reason that so many people are even talking about it to the OP is that it is SO massive, it looks totally fake! The fact she and her DH have been convincing everyone it’s real probably hasn’t helped!

Would love to see a photo though-I love a big rock, real or not!

DragonMummy1418 · 27/03/2018 20:18

This has got to be a wind up!

Who cares what the ring is made of.
Why are so many people asking you?
Except when we first got engaged, no-one had ever asked about my ring but then it's not gaudy

Your DH bought you a ring to show he loved you and wanted to marry you.
It does not matter what it is made of!

Grow some balls and tell people to mind their own business when asking about your ring ffs!

If you love your DH then keep your rings on! Honestly!

Olddear · 27/03/2018 20:21

It doesn't matter at all. It does matter OP was lied to.

Original poster
Poppy1324 · 27/03/2018 20:26

Wow ok dragonmummy, when you get engaged people do tend to ask about the ring, telling them to mind their own business would be a bit harsh, and up to now no one has said anything that hasn’t been positive other than a facial expesssion I picked up on, anyway..

It’s similar to this link, I don’t want to put the actual ring up because although this is probably paranoid I have friends on here including mil and they might recognise it.

www.ziamond.com/ovesstri.html

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 27/03/2018 20:28

Op, an eternity ring might be the answer, he could buy you one of those and you could wear that instead.

ShiftyMcGifty · 27/03/2018 20:28

I’m guessing it’s Carat London. Their rings do look lovely and you wouldn’t think “fake diamond” as long as you bought the same size in carats as you could afford in real life. I have stud earrings about .75 carat each and everyone thinks they’re real (and I always correct them otherwise).

Their presentation boxes are actually nicer and more “expensive” looking than the box my real diamond ring came in Confused

It use to be very popular with tourists from The Gulf at their Selfridges counter, so I can only imagine it does fool a lot of people. Grin

g1itterati · 27/03/2018 20:29

Of course it matters about the ring if it's a massive showy rock, but a fake diamond!

OP, did you not suspect from the start that this was the case.

Maybe he genuinely doesn't see any difference between diamonds and CZ and just went for the blingiest ring he could find?

That's me giving him the benefit if the doubt.

I think you should tell him that people are constantly asking if it's CZ. See what his reaction is. I hope he is clueless. But if he's shifty, it's ok to let him know how you feel because this is ridiculous. He may offer to get you a replacement- I do hope so.

ShiftyMcGifty · 27/03/2018 20:30

Oh right. Cross posted. Is it actually from Ziamond and when you saw it on the box OP, the name didn’t give you a clue? Not trying to be mean but not exactly misleading, like Carat London, is it?

Original poster
Poppy1324 · 27/03/2018 20:33

No it’s not ziamond, that was just the most similar to it I could find online

OP posts:
g1itterati · 27/03/2018 20:33

For £2 k he could go to Hatton Garden and get a diamond solitaire and be done with it. Classic and timeless.

Appuskidu · 27/03/2018 20:35

Was it actually from Ziamond?

DragonMummy1418 · 27/03/2018 20:35

Poppy, you got engaged two years ago though and are married now, why is it an issue now?

And do you actually know your DH lied about it being a diamond? Tbh it's a small lie if he did imo, maybe he just didn't want to disappoint you.