Fake engagement ring

[Poppy1324]

I got engaged 2 years ago and married a year ago, my engagement ring is huge, very eye catching and gets lots of attention. A few people have commented about how much it must have cost and people have said it’s 2 carat at least, my husband has always said it is a diamond and made comments about how much it set him back.

Several people have said it’s worth a fortune and I’ll have to get it insured, my husband agreed and said he’ll have to do it and he will give receipt to insurance so I don’t see how much he spent. A few weeks ago someone said it must be 15-20k worth of diamond! Now we don’t have that kind of money so I assumed they must be mistaken and put it out of my mind, then last weekend I was at a dinner and a friends husband who’s a jeweller noticed the ring made a huge fuss of it,his wife compared her ring which was half the size and then they chatted quietly to each other looking at the 2 rings and looked at me with what I can only describe as mixture of sympathy and confusion as they gave it back.

I probably shouldn’t have done this but it’s been playing on my mind, I know the name of the store so I just looked it up, found the exact ring and it’s cubic zirconia, it’s still lovely and it is expensive although obviously not 15k expensive.

I don’t have expensive things, never have, it’s always made me cringe the thought he has spent so much on a ring, it felt wrong when we have struggled for money and we have friends and family around us struggling to make ends meet. Although I was obviously happy to be engaged I’m not really the attention seeking type and I’ve always felt embarrassed at the huge amount of attention this ring gets.

I feel a bit uncomfortable now wearing a massive flashy attention seeking fake ring and pretending it’s a diamond, I don’t know much about diamonds, obviously! However other people do and I feel a bit embarrassed to wear it now I know.

I don’t know how much my husband knows about jewellery, perhaps he saw it was sparkly and assumed it was a diamond or more likely he has lied about it this whole time. I have happily worn it for 2 years and I don’t want to upset him or be ungrateful for what is still a lovely and expensive ring.

Do I ask him about it or just carry on wearing it, the majority of people won’t examine it and I’d guess most wont realise so does it really matter anyway.

What a shame. Not that you've not got a diamond but the fact it taints your engagement. He's humiliated you now by lying. There was no need.

I would perhaps mention the jeweller’s reaction and say it was like he thought it wasn’t a real diamond and see what his reaction is. The fact is he shouldn’t have lied.

I actually don't know if people can't even be bothered reading rhe full op, never mind the thread or really struggle with reading comprehension and probably shouldn't be posting on the internet.

She doesn't care about the cost of the ring. She cares because he lied and told her, her friends and her family repeatedly it was a real diamond.

Sigh,

I always think it strange when men choose engagement rings, surely you both go shopping together and you choose a nice ring bearing in mind the budget, however if you like the ring then carry on wearing it, I would take the ring to a jewellers and find out if the ring is fake or real I would then tell the husband he was conned if this is the case.

I can't believe you didnt check out the price already if you knew the jewellers name...i quite often have a sneaky peek at how much somethings cost.

When I started reading your thread I thought you were wanting to find a fake ring for holidays and situations where you would not wear your expensive one. Personally I would be cross about the deceit, not the price of the ring.

think yourself lucky your OH bought anything at all

Christsake, she’s not Cinderella, begging for scraps!

I would be absolutely mortified and angry at being duped, which you have been.

I'd be angry.
I used to work in a jeweller. We had a woman come in to have her ring made smaller. We have to put an insurance value on it. It wasn't one of ours, so we had to estimate. I estimated £100, generous.
She flipped, I was 19 she asked to see manager etc. He came out, with diamond tester and talked her through it in one of the side booths. After 20 mins she left, sobbing.
Hed told her it cost £15k and were it real, it could have. In reality it was £79.99 from Argos.
It's a big lie. It's unlikely that he doesn't know, unless he bought it second hand.
I don't think the couple were rude, given that he's a jeweller.

You like the ring, your dh liked it enough to buy it and he loved you enough to give it to you. Who cares how much it cost! You say it's a lively ring so wear it with pride. My engagement ring cost £700 fourteen years ago and if it's still worth £700 I wouldn't care. I love it and my husband loved me enough to choose it for me.

Lovely not lively!

bluntness
I haven’t commented but I’ve RTFT and I’ve been sighing for the last god knows how many pages
I’ve also been bellowing
READ THE FUCKING THREAD
It’s not the lack of diamond it’s the LYING
I’m off for a Gin now!

Nobody knew my nans engagement ring was cz until she died. It was bloody convincing.

I'll never know if she knew.

The deceit is worrying.

Thanks Prestons! I've been bellowing away too

How hard is it to highlight and read the OP's posts before commenting?

Too hard for many, obviously.

I wish people would read the full post before commenting

My DH (been married for 10yrs this sept, together for 20yrs) bought me a kenyan ring, as an engagement ring. It turned my finger green!!!! But i would not swap it for the world at the time. Then when we left Nirobi he bought me a new engagement ring with a not so expensive stone at all but a tanzanite rock in!!!! Then we got married in St Lucia and he bought me a really nice eternity ring ( again not the most expensive)! But the point being he chose them ALL BY HIMSELF!!!

Exasperated by some of these comments So pumpkin, did he lie to you and choose a ring he liked but likely knew you wouldn’t? Was the ring really from Kenya or was it Somalia? Was it really tanzanite or was it coloured glass.... whatever the value it wouldn’t be nice if your partner lied to you would it?

OMG - I completely agree!

Read the fucking thread or don't bother to comment.

If I read one more post saying "We chose a cheap ring and I love it, just be grateful he gave you a ring", I think I might explode.

People have totally missed the point and it’s quite worrying that so many people think the OP should be greatful ! Quite what for I really don’t know.

I proposed back in the days when women only proposed in a leap year. It just so happened he had just got a bonus at work, and asked me whether he was supposed to spend that month's pay on a ring, or could it just be an average month?!

The ring I ended up falling in love with was a small fraction of the bonus, never mind his actual pay, and I love it because it's beautiful and meaningful.

However, if he had selected something that wasn't to my taste, and then lived off the glory of getting me to believe it was something it wasn't, I'd be shaken to the very core of the relationship.

OP, I hope you find a way through. That might entail getting him to understand why you need to start afresh with new rings, so you aren't constantly reminded of the deceit.

I think there are three aspects to this:

1 - It doesn't matter what the ring is made from, it's the intention behind it. Was your husband's intention to get something you liked, or something that made him look good?

2 - Your husband has lied to you and humiliated you. Are you OK with that? If not what are you going to do about it?

3 - We're talking about a huge stone here so in all seriousness, how could you have even believed it was real when he didn't have that sort of money in the first place?

Some women set the bar in their relationships depressingly low. It's scary how many think she should just be happy that he bought her a ring at all and nevermind the lying and the public embarrassment he has caused her. Or the fact that she didn't even like that kind of ring, which he knew and ignored because buying what he liked was more important than getting what she preferred.

The thing is, you don't even need to read the thread to understand it, you just need to read the op and some people clearly can't even do that. They just want to post how much they love their engagement rings.

It's mind boggling. It's like they are answering a different thread. 🤬

@DaisytheDaftDaffodil

He probably was enjoying the attention that he picked a ring that got his fiancé / wife a lot of attention.

It's more likely he's enjoying thinking that he's fooled everyone into thinking he bought a 15k ring, including his wife.

But I’m sure to him the fact he got down on one knee means so much more. Or is it all about the ring and not the sentiment?

Personally, I value honesty in a partner much more than their willingness to get down on one knee. Honest wins over sentimentality any day.

It's sad how many women make excuses for deceitful men.