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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fake engagement ring

518 replies

Poppy1324 · 27/03/2018 13:53

I got engaged 2 years ago and married a year ago, my engagement ring is huge, very eye catching and gets lots of attention. A few people have commented about how much it must have cost and people have said it’s 2 carat at least, my husband has always said it is a diamond and made comments about how much it set him back.

Several people have said it’s worth a fortune and I’ll have to get it insured, my husband agreed and said he’ll have to do it and he will give receipt to insurance so I don’t see how much he spent. A few weeks ago someone said it must be 15-20k worth of diamond! Now we don’t have that kind of money so I assumed they must be mistaken and put it out of my mind, then last weekend I was at a dinner and a friends husband who’s a jeweller noticed the ring made a huge fuss of it,his wife compared her ring which was half the size and then they chatted quietly to each other looking at the 2 rings and looked at me with what I can only describe as mixture of sympathy and confusion as they gave it back.

I probably shouldn’t have done this but it’s been playing on my mind, I know the name of the store so I just looked it up, found the exact ring and it’s cubic zirconia, it’s still lovely and it is expensive although obviously not 15k expensive.

I don’t have expensive things, never have, it’s always made me cringe the thought he has spent so much on a ring, it felt wrong when we have struggled for money and we have friends and family around us struggling to make ends meet. Although I was obviously happy to be engaged I’m not really the attention seeking type and I’ve always felt embarrassed at the huge amount of attention this ring gets.

I feel a bit uncomfortable now wearing a massive flashy attention seeking fake ring and pretending it’s a diamond, I don’t know much about diamonds, obviously! However other people do and I feel a bit embarrassed to wear it now I know.

I don’t know how much my husband knows about jewellery, perhaps he saw it was sparkly and assumed it was a diamond or more likely he has lied about it this whole time. I have happily worn it for 2 years and I don’t want to upset him or be ungrateful for what is still a lovely and expensive ring.

Do I ask him about it or just carry on wearing it, the majority of people won’t examine it and I’d guess most wont realise so does it really matter anyway.

OP posts:
Belphegor · 29/03/2018 06:56

"But the point being he chose them ALL BY HIMSELF!!!"

Wow, what a big boy! Does he go potty on his own, too?!

givemesteel · 29/03/2018 07:31

I would be really annoyed if my fiance told me a cubic zirconia ring was a diamond and he'd spent a fortune etc and affect my trust and opinion of him. There's no way he thought he bought a diamond, he knows he's lied as he's been bragging about how expensive it was. I wouldn't want to marry someone like that.

There's nothing wrong with cubic zirconia, my grandmother's engagement ring was that and it's lovely.

My engagement ring has a 1.5 carat stone and is worth 5 figures, it is a worry, I have a safe, I don't take it on holiday and it has to be insured separately from our home insurance.

If it was a 2 carat diamond you'd have to take all those precautions.

I'd rather have a different stone, eg a sapphire or emerald I think than something that's meant to look like a celebrity sized diamond.

rumbelina · 29/03/2018 07:32

The Daily Mail is like a turd that hasn’t even been rolled in glitter

^Needed repeating

Appuskidu · 29/03/2018 09:23

Oh dear-I presume the OP’s DH will have seen this by now?!

gooseygoosegoose · 29/03/2018 09:28

My dh's cousin bought his fiancée a large ring, that he wouldn't be able to afford. I could tell it wasn't a diamond when I saw it. Of course no one would say anything (and I think she knows), you do the usual 'it's beautiful.' Who knows how she feels about it.

I'd be very hurt if my dh lied to me about this.

SmileyBird · 29/03/2018 11:52

I think a lot of people don’t realise that it’s possible to have the OPs (and their own) post highlighted. This makes it much easier to scan for pertinent info on a long thread.

I can’t remember how though. Anybody who wants to do this should probably google ‘how to highlight the OPs posts on Mumsnet.’

OVienna · 29/03/2018 12:06

@Belphegor SmileGrin

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 29/03/2018 12:20

Of course in this case it's the deceit, the lies that's the problem.

On a different tangent, I can't quite understand the appeal of owning a diamond ring worth 5 figures as some posters say they do on here. The worry about losing it, having it stolen, having to put it in a safe, paying insurance..I couldn't be bothered with all that.

It's like those celebrities that wear enormous diamond necklaces to events and then have a body guard following them around all night. What a pain in the arse.
I'd rather wear something from Argos and go to the toilet in peace.Grin

Lilonetwo · 29/03/2018 12:44

Looks like Loose Women are about to discuss your thread OP

"Would you be happy if you found out your engagement ring was fake?" Coming up next....

Shock
nokidshere · 29/03/2018 12:44

Oh dear - now it's being discussed on Loose Women Confused

lovemylover · 29/03/2018 12:52

Just mentioned this on Loose Women,
Dont know if they are going to discuss it

SparklyMagpie · 29/03/2018 12:55

Oh goodness! Poor OP :(

Teacuphiccup · 29/03/2018 12:55

I can guarantee on Loose Women Jane Macdonald will say ‘it doesn’t matter how much the ring cost, we bought it with his own money and picked it himself, wear it with pride!’
Then everyone will clap.

Whoopwhoopwooo · 29/03/2018 13:02

Jane McDonald, someone hasn’t watched daytime tv for a while 😊

Teacuphiccup · 29/03/2018 13:04

Haha I’ve outed myself as an old bag!

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 29/03/2018 13:09

You're right though TeaCup some will say that. Probably Colleen.
Janet Street Porter will declare he's a selfish sod and the one with brown hair and lots of botox will try to look shocked and move to an ad break.

gingergenius · 29/03/2018 13:21

Yes just watching it on loose women now!!

Tunaandbobby · 29/03/2018 13:21

This is being talked about on loose women right now!

MsHarry · 29/03/2018 13:24

Yep now discussed on Loose Women!! I don't think I'll ever start a new thread again!

YearOfYouRemember · 29/03/2018 13:25

The h got sympathy because Nadia didn't give all the info

Teacuphiccup · 29/03/2018 13:27

I called it!!

lovemylover · 29/03/2018 13:31

I missed the discussion in the end, damn, someone at the door
Will have to watch it on catchup
It is terrible thar posts on MN are discussed in public,
Surely thats breaching someones rights

MsHarry · 29/03/2018 13:36

Well just the one. Reported to MN but no response. Please see AIBU and maybe we can get someone to hear us!

Alabama3 · 29/03/2018 13:45

Seriously - what do you think MN is here for? its not a charity, you're not paying for it - yes there is advertising, but thats generated by links from other place

you dont want to see your writing in the media, dont write in the media

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