Fake engagement ring

[Poppy1324]

I got engaged 2 years ago and married a year ago, my engagement ring is huge, very eye catching and gets lots of attention. A few people have commented about how much it must have cost and people have said it’s 2 carat at least, my husband has always said it is a diamond and made comments about how much it set him back.

Several people have said it’s worth a fortune and I’ll have to get it insured, my husband agreed and said he’ll have to do it and he will give receipt to insurance so I don’t see how much he spent. A few weeks ago someone said it must be 15-20k worth of diamond! Now we don’t have that kind of money so I assumed they must be mistaken and put it out of my mind, then last weekend I was at a dinner and a friends husband who’s a jeweller noticed the ring made a huge fuss of it,his wife compared her ring which was half the size and then they chatted quietly to each other looking at the 2 rings and looked at me with what I can only describe as mixture of sympathy and confusion as they gave it back.

I probably shouldn’t have done this but it’s been playing on my mind, I know the name of the store so I just looked it up, found the exact ring and it’s cubic zirconia, it’s still lovely and it is expensive although obviously not 15k expensive.

I don’t have expensive things, never have, it’s always made me cringe the thought he has spent so much on a ring, it felt wrong when we have struggled for money and we have friends and family around us struggling to make ends meet. Although I was obviously happy to be engaged I’m not really the attention seeking type and I’ve always felt embarrassed at the huge amount of attention this ring gets.

I feel a bit uncomfortable now wearing a massive flashy attention seeking fake ring and pretending it’s a diamond, I don’t know much about diamonds, obviously! However other people do and I feel a bit embarrassed to wear it now I know.

I don’t know how much my husband knows about jewellery, perhaps he saw it was sparkly and assumed it was a diamond or more likely he has lied about it this whole time. I have happily worn it for 2 years and I don’t want to upset him or be ungrateful for what is still a lovely and expensive ring.

Do I ask him about it or just carry on wearing it, the majority of people won’t examine it and I’d guess most wont realise so does it really matter anyway.

As bonnyshide said, it's all about the lie, and not the diamond. The fake isn't the CZ, but the DH for pretending it was a diamond.

OP didn't want a flashy diamond, real or fake.

My DH bought a ring with a tiny diamond because he couldn’t afford anything else. The sentiment behind that was that it was a symbol of him loving me and wanting to be with me for the rest of our lives - and he was honest! Had he bought me a huge cubic zirconia and try and pass it off as a diamond I would’ve been pissed off. I don’t like any form of deception. I don’t imagine for a second the retailer would’ve sold it to him telling him it was a diamond. You don’t need a receipt to get a valuation so him wanting to do it himself is enough proof to me he’s been dishonest. I haven’t read the full thread but if you haven’t said anything yet I’d bring it up and tell him you know it’s not a diamond but you’re not disappointed with that, just the fact that he felt he needed to hide it. He should have told you rather than making you believe it was a real one. If you’re not 100% that it isn’t real then just take it to a jeweller - it won’t take them long.

Again, all the 'diamonds are nonsense anyway' or 'all that counts is the sentiment' misses the key point. If he'd been open about being anti-diamond, or anti spending a lot of money on a ring when it could have been spent elsewhere, then that's absolutely fine - but he should have said this. Going along with this pretence meant he got the best of both worlds, at the expense of lying to OP and making her feel silly. If you think that's a lovely sentiment worth celebrating then I suggest you consider raising your standards somewhat - some of these posts seem to have the depressing assumption that a woman should be 'grateful' for a proposal.

Your DH is a twat for lying. With how you have described your tastes it seems as if he bought this ring to show off i stead of buying one that you would love.

I would much rather my DP buy a smaller diamond or another stone rather than a massive flashy fake diamond.

I personally think CZ looks very obviously fake. It’s far too sparkly and there is very little texture to the stone.

I do think you should have a word with him
I’m doors, but if you love the ring then wear it with pride and get him drop some decent wonga on any future rings.

The lying would get to me. The rest wouldn't.
I'm happy with cubic zirconia and sterling silver tbh.
I don't have much of value and don't have a lot if money. My wedding ring is sterling silver and was £3 off eBay. It's never bothered me. Nor has any one asked.
I've picked an eternity ring I want, but chosen to lose some weight off my fingers first, it's £10.
Price has never bothered me and I wouldn't want to be worrying over my ring all the time.

You have to talk to him about the lie. He may have originally thought it was a diamond, and is mortified now he knows it isn't.
To anyone else? Yes it's cubic zirconia. The real one's in the safe. The insurers won't let you wear it.

I just read your last post OP. You seem really sweet and hope it all works out for you 👍🏼

If he can deceive you over this, what else can he deceive you over? Sorry but not on, he should have been honest.

Stuff appearing in newspapers is very off-putting to me tbh. It may attract viewers to MN but it's hardly likely to increase posts to the site unless they are trying to get themselves in the paper.

Jeez, I can’t believe the amount of people who don’t seem to be reading the OPs posts, never mind about RTFT!

OP doesn’t like blingy jewellery, she showed her DHs friend some understated rings that she liked. OPs DH was not strapped for cash. He is enjoying people ogling the ring and thinking he has paid through the nose for a large diamond. There is no way he could have thought that ring is really diamond if it cost £300. The fact that he was going to get it valued for insurance so that she couldn’t see how much he paid shows that he is trying to pull the wool over OPs eyes.

While I do feel that with engagement rings it is the sentiment rather that the size that counts, he bought a flashy ring knowing she doesn’t like flashy jewellery and then lied to everyone about it. What a lovely sentiment!

The Mirror is like CZ, The Daily Mail is like a diamond lol

The Daily Mail is like a turd that hasn’t even been rolled in glitter

^ I hope your comment gets picked up lol

Your husband chose it for you, and if you love it then nothing else matters. Enjoy it xx

Your husband chose it for you, and if you love it then nothing else matters.

Well, no, she doesn't love a ring that represents that time her husband lied to her and other people and made her look stupid publicly. Obviously.

I'm a bit late to this party, but I'd like to offer my sympathy to lakeg who had all her jewellery stolen. . As for the OP's cubic zirconia - well she has a husband who bought her something he liked and likes to show off - there are worse sins.

I think lying to a spouse is one of the worst sins personally

I have both diamond and CZ rings. I can't tell the difference. Diamonds are definitely overrated. The CZ rings all have CZ stamped on them. Anyone holding the actual ring doesn't have to be an expert to know it's CZ. The thing which would have made me cringe is that you have been saying it's real when some people would definitely have thought you were lying. I also think when you get a fake diamond you should try not to get one too big as lots of people will just assume it's fake. Just because they don't say it to your face doesn't mean they aren't thinking it. This is why I would be annoyed.

Thanks for the flowers Mary1955, but I'm fine about it. There were two necklaces that had sentimental value, but otherwise I don't really care much for jewellery anyway. The worst thing about the whole incident was that DH and I have a locked box of 'toys' at the back of the wardrobe and the burglars broke it open and tipped the contents over the bed. I had to ask the forensic guy to wait outside the bedroom door for a moment as he arrived so quickly that I hadn't been able to hide anything.

I opened this thread cringing in case you were my soon to be sister in law. Brother in law (who is pretty wealthy) recently bought her a second hand ‘engagement’ ring. Bloody skinflint idiot got a second hand friendship ring hoping she would not notice (she did). The family has form for being skinflint, which is how they amassed their wealth.

I wouldn’t be fussed about the ring but the lie behind the ring.

I know where my ring is from as I chose it and told my mum how much I loved it and she directed DH to it. It wasn’t massively expensive - around £300 but I love it because it reflects me and is from my DH.

DH regularly says when we are millionaires (hahaha! Have to laugh at the optimism!) he will buy me a more expensive one. I don’t ever want a more expensive one nor do I ever want to change it.

I think he probably does know what it is and how much it's worth, and it may be that he would feel bad if you know it is CZ. It might not be to trick you, but that he just wouldn't want you to know.

We're jewellers, and would only say something about what it is made of if someone specifically asked us to tell them and value it. We tend to know what things are, but a lot of people don't, so most people may think it is a diamond anyway. TBF, sometimes CZs can be so good it takes a bit of examining.

The main thing is that if you love it you should wear it, and I'm sure he had good intentions in buying it for you, he may have just thought that you would love it, which it sounds like you did.

I think YABU but also Its all down to personnal preferance . My DH (been married for 10yrs this sept, together for 20yrs) bought me a kenyan ring, as an engagement ring. It turned my finger green!!!! But i would not swap it for the world at the time. Then when we left Nirobi he bought me a new engagement ring with a not so expensive stone at all but a tanzanite rock in!!!! Then we got married in St Lucia and he bought me a really nice eternity ring ( again not the most expensive)! But the point being he chose them ALL BY HIMSELF!!! think yourself lucky your OH bought anything at all. Sorry if you dont like the post but thats my answer!!