Fake engagement ring

[Poppy1324]

I got engaged 2 years ago and married a year ago, my engagement ring is huge, very eye catching and gets lots of attention. A few people have commented about how much it must have cost and people have said it’s 2 carat at least, my husband has always said it is a diamond and made comments about how much it set him back.

Several people have said it’s worth a fortune and I’ll have to get it insured, my husband agreed and said he’ll have to do it and he will give receipt to insurance so I don’t see how much he spent. A few weeks ago someone said it must be 15-20k worth of diamond! Now we don’t have that kind of money so I assumed they must be mistaken and put it out of my mind, then last weekend I was at a dinner and a friends husband who’s a jeweller noticed the ring made a huge fuss of it,his wife compared her ring which was half the size and then they chatted quietly to each other looking at the 2 rings and looked at me with what I can only describe as mixture of sympathy and confusion as they gave it back.

I probably shouldn’t have done this but it’s been playing on my mind, I know the name of the store so I just looked it up, found the exact ring and it’s cubic zirconia, it’s still lovely and it is expensive although obviously not 15k expensive.

I don’t have expensive things, never have, it’s always made me cringe the thought he has spent so much on a ring, it felt wrong when we have struggled for money and we have friends and family around us struggling to make ends meet. Although I was obviously happy to be engaged I’m not really the attention seeking type and I’ve always felt embarrassed at the huge amount of attention this ring gets.

I feel a bit uncomfortable now wearing a massive flashy attention seeking fake ring and pretending it’s a diamond, I don’t know much about diamonds, obviously! However other people do and I feel a bit embarrassed to wear it now I know.

I don’t know how much my husband knows about jewellery, perhaps he saw it was sparkly and assumed it was a diamond or more likely he has lied about it this whole time. I have happily worn it for 2 years and I don’t want to upset him or be ungrateful for what is still a lovely and expensive ring.

Do I ask him about it or just carry on wearing it, the majority of people won’t examine it and I’d guess most wont realise so does it really matter anyway.

My engagement ring was a family heirloom and I wasn’t keen on it. When we had dd1, my husband bought me a ‘baby’ ring which I now wear instead of my engagement ring!

How can they prevent it? If you post on a public forum you have to expect it to be public

Given that diamonds are a slave trade, I would never wear diamonds again. I have worn cubic zirconia and no one has told the difference. One piece I got that’s an immitation of Princess Di’s ring is gold, sapphire & CZ. People comment on how gorgeous it is.

I think to me thered be no issue as you got it as an engagement ring. As in it’s the ring he used to ask you to be part of his life forever. You said yourself it’s still expensive.

Your friends making a fuss created this situation not your DH. All this you should get it insured business.

I got a ring 15 years back, a trinity of half carat diamonds that were set on 18 carat white gold. I traded it in for a friend who was desperate for money, I got the most paltry amount for it, even though it was insured for £1500.

So from then on jewellery to me is the sentimental value, not how much was paid, not how much it’s even insured for.

I actually got rid of all my diamond jewellery over the years, as I didn’t like the fact it was linked to poor kids mining away getting paid next to nothing. My ex took my ring to ‘sell’ it, he was told diamonds aren’t even worth that much at the time. So a CZ is a much wiser investment. This ring was say £2k when bought, with a big solitaire, how much it was really worth, say Times were hard and you had to pawn it (not sell it like ex did) was a joke.

I’ve always gone to the same jewellers for the highest quality diamonds in my younger years. Now give me a quirky one of a kind piece any day.

It is the sentiment that matters not the £££. A ring I wear was from a silver smith who had painstakingly put ‘x’s’ into the ring. It cost £10 and I’ll never take it off. As it’s unique and is just beautiful to me.

Did anyone see Call the Midwife where the vicar proposed and tied a blade of grass in Africa into her finger. That meant more to both of them than a ring say from de Beers that set them back however much rings were worth in the 1950’s.

How sad that so many of us are so eager to turn on the husband.

@Momo18

So your DH will likely be aware it's not real, but he's probably just as embarrassed as you about the attention.

But OP has said that her DH is enjoying the attention the ring brings him, much more than she does.

RTFT people!!

FYI for anyone interested in insuring jewellery on home contents. Mine is all insured without the need for a separate valuation (though it has been valued) with Direct Line. You do have to list the items. Iirc, there are different levels of cover eg, up to £4K per item or £20k per item.

Another thing over the years my Grandad bought Nan a charm bracelet full of charms. It’s likely completely worthless as they’re silver charms. But the sentiment is my long gone Grandad would get a charm added on special occasions.

If he had said to my Nan it was gold she wouldn’t have known the difference. I doubt very much that this bracelet with 30 charms on being found to not be platinum would have any less value to her when she was alive, as it does to us who look at it in awe and all the charms that were added.

OP’s corner was backed into a corner by friends who put the emphasis on the wrong thing. Possibly to him it was expensive, it does have huge sentimental value. He’d read this and think what hysteria, I thought the actual special part was saying shall we commit to each other forever, not the ring and how much it did or didn’t cost.

So those saying OP’s husband lied, maybe to him it was a lot of money to spend on a ring.

I remember being in Argos and being bored so looked at jewellery counter. There was a bling ring for £10. No one except a real jeweller and those who peruse Argos would know the difference.

Blimey let’s hope it’s not knocked off given it’s in the bloody Mirror now.

He probably was enjoying the attention that he picked a ring that got his fiancé / wife a lot of attention.

But I’m sure to him the fact he got down on one knee means so much more. Or is it all about the ring and not the sentiment?

Its a ring, its wasn't the offer of one in the future.

Whether he's been misled on the true value of it or is aware of its true value and hiding it. It was a promise to love you conditionally for life, for better or poorer.

If he was really in a tight space at the time and felt he needed to go all bling on you but couldn't quite afford the ferrari ring, but bought a focus look a like. it shows he loves you.

If money and materialistic things mean that much ask him. If not, its a still your engagement ring he proposed to you with.

Or is it all about the ring and not the sentiment?

I think it's about the lie actually

To me this ring would show that he cares more about appearances and what other people think than my needs.
The op has said that she didn’t want a flashy ring and it’s not very her to have one, she’s also said that he could have afforded a real diamond if that was important to him.
I would be very upset by this and I’d never wear the ring again.
This is coming from someone who’s wedding band cost £70. It’s the thought that counts and his thoughts were selfish.

Maybe The Mirror wil pay you 15k for an exclusive interview-then you can buy yourself that ring after all!! :)

MsHarry MN could stop this by using copy-write laws. They want the big rags to publish threads from here because it is free publicity for MN. I have not posted any OP’s because of MNs disgusting behavior violating women in this manner.

Address this MN!

I'm another one who would be angry at the deception. I would also lose respect for him for the fact that he is taking undue credit for the admiration the ring receives.

Diamonds are lovely, but hardly mandatory. He could have chosen something else beautiful within budget, but he chose to lie and make you look foolish in front of other people.

He knows how much he paid. He will know it wasn't real.

He's as fake as his fake diamond, what an awful thing to discover.

I can't believe some posters attitude to being lied to, not to mention being made a fool of.

My brother bought an engagement ring with cubic zirconias with huge pride for his now wife. I quietly stopped wearing my almost identical ring from Argos. I personally prefer small diamonds but cubic zirconia aren't fake diamonds so don't see it as a fake ring. Your dh probably got told it was diamonique or like diamonds. I confessed I hated my engagement ring to my lovely dh and we ended up buying a ring I love for half the price as it wasn't from a jewellers. If you feel uncomfortable about it, then quietly discuss it with your dh and choose something less flashy from a second hand or antiques shop (rings go for about a sixth of the value!).

A lot of engagement rings aren't diamonds and are cubic zirconia alternative. People jst can't afford them. He got you a beautiful sparkler either way.. Maybe now you can wear it with a bit more pride rather than feeling uncomfortable about it. Cubic zirconia nothing to be ashamed of jst tell People the truth. Id rather a big bold cubic zirconia rather than a teeny weeny diamond.

Rikalaily and MsHarry
Sometimes the OP is a journalist.
Mumsnet don't care- it's publicity for them so will gain a bigger 'audience' and the advertisers will flock.
The OP has posted twice.

sorry but I do not see the issue. My engagement ring was a beautiful 9ct gold recreated emerald and cz affair, (emerald being my birth stone), it was chosen by now dh himself and is exactly something I would have picked for myself. It cost £40 and I was in love with it the minute I saw it. It is not a fake ring, it is a sign of our love for each other and also that he knew me so well.
Ok so ur dh probably does know that it's not a diamond but so what? Has he actually ever come out and said "Yeah that diamond ring sure cost an arm and a leg", or has he simply allowed u to continue in a belief u came to yourself? I couldn't condemn a man for not (in his mind) breaking his bride to bes heart and Tbh you obviously do have some sort of hang up about stones in rings as you call it a fake ring when it is not. A fake engagement ring would be a ring that meant nothing to either of you or he gave you the ring whilst his feelings were quite the opposite of the gesture.
Bring it up if u wish but I think there are more important things in life.
And can I just echo what others have said, the jeweller and his wife sound horrid and are certainly no friends of yours, they didn't even say anything they just whispered about you behind your back
x

And no MNHQ probably couldn’t stop it by using copyright laws even if they wanted to. There was a brilliant long thread about this recently that went into the subject in fascinating/excruciating legal detail - but I’m not sure how to find it.

I would be upset on 2 counts here. One I’m wearing a fake diamond (sorry but I love diamonds) and 2 he lied. I also would not wear a fake diamond as my engagement ring. Sorry but I would feel deceived.

The OP has said several times that her husband told her it WAS a diamond!! That’s the whole point, he lied to her and let her carry on thinking it was a very expensive diamond ring and in return look foolish when people knew it wasn’t. It’s not about the cost of the ring but the lie!

The OP has said multiple times that her husband has said it's a diamond. its the bigging himself up that would fuck me off. It'd be one thing if the op wanted a big shiny diamond and he was embarrassed he couldn't afford it but it was nothing like the ones she actually asked for.

I'd not wear it. I'd want a different one but would probably ask my priest to bless my rings again. If people asked I'd say I'd lost it/the stone fell out.