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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Instamums 3, 2.0

999 replies

blackmirror1 · 27/03/2018 12:42

Seeing as the original 3 got zapped.

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15
ThomasHardyPerennial · 27/03/2018 14:04

Instagram already have a business account option.

TurquoiseTarn · 27/03/2018 14:05

The trend of blocking individuals for making a constructive criticism is reminiscent of the Emperors New Clothes.

IsThisAWindUp · 27/03/2018 14:07

I would like the discussion to continue, as I think it is important that this discussion can be had (especially if it is being shut down on Insta), but no reason why we can't keep it to useful discussion rather than veering off into personal insults. Surely everyone can all agree with that?

I regularly NC now, after experiencing some unsettling behaviour on some of the earlier related threads. I certainly don't sock puppet my own comments though. I hope @mumsnet don't punish people who decide to name change for valid reasons.

notaneasyjourney · 27/03/2018 14:10

@TheLadyhasarrived Because instagram is an echo chamber which offers the likes of instamums constant reinforcement and praise. Mumsnet exists outside of that bubble and these discussions challenge behaviours which are overlooked or even endorsed on IG. MN says what they don't wanna hear.

Softkitty2 · 27/03/2018 14:13

I agree with cady in what she said previously.. Publicity whether good or bad is publicity. Some people on here have gone searching for some of the instagrammers mentioned in this thread which drives the engagement in their accounts surely?

DawnMumsnet · 27/03/2018 14:13

@Stellastartsitall

I'm wondering if its even worth posting comments on here. Confused censored on Instagram for querying companies gifting holidays. And the entire last thread too. Someone is really trying to shut this discussion down.

@GreenSeededGrape

Wow Dawn it feels as though we can't discuss this at all Hmm

Sorry you feel this way - that's really not our intention. As we said, we're happy for this new thread to run but we wanted everyone to be clear of our Talk Guidelines. We ended up deleting the previous thread (Instamums 3, take 1) partly because of the numerous posts which were crossing our TG, and partly because it ended up being totally derailed by a newbie poster who was intent on stirring things up.

As we said before, we don't try to control what's discussed here and we'd really like this thread to stay up and running. Smile

TheLadyhasarrived · 27/03/2018 14:17

True, I wonder what would win out if it came down to it: constant praise or cash.

PavlovaPrincess · 27/03/2018 14:22

Compare MOD shutting down the comments on her posts to Mother Pukka's latest IG post.

Mother Pukka's caption is a very thoughtful and reflective comment on some of the things that have been discussed on here, and probably, elsewhere.

Then along comes MOD in the comments section and reduces it all to 'trolls and haters'. She really doesn't get it, does she?

ElizabethLemon · 27/03/2018 14:23

I’ve just read MP’s latest post which is open and sensible. MOD’s reply is...interesting.

ElizabethLemon · 27/03/2018 14:24

Xpost 😅

meetthewildes · 27/03/2018 14:24

Hello! I hope that nobody minds that I'm joining the discussion. I'm a new poster on Mumsnet, though I read the forums avidly during my daily commute - I find that each thread page is exactly long enough that by the time I've finished it, I'm at the next Underground stop with enough wifi to flip to the next page. :) As an instagram 'influencer', blogger and (teensy tiny and not very good) vlogger I've been following these threads with a mixture of interest and fear in my heart.

When I first started blogging, it was to document my experience starting a family in a same-sex relationship. I've never been 'huge' in the same way as lovely Charlotte Taylor is huge (and she really is lovely, behind the scenes - a genuinely good egg) but I've been fortunate in that over the years my blog and social media have grown to 'good enough' and these days, with the revenue that I generate from #ads on my various social pages, the blog, the retainer that I'm paid by my agent and some additional work that I do behind the scenes for my agent, I do earn what would probably amount to a full-time income outside of London. Alas for I live in London and am positively teeming with children, so it will never be enough money or sufficiently reliable money for me to give up my 'real job'. In a sense it's wonderfully liberating - I don't have to take every opportunity that comes my way and in fact, say 'no' to most things these days. Sometimes I feel like a bit of a failure because I'm not making the most of the opportunities that I'm offered, because my full-time in-the-office job comes first, I never ever get to go on last-minute #gifted holidays because my boss would have a fit, and I do worry that at the moment, my instagram has lost focus - I should be writing more about the joys and challenges of our unusual family dynamic, and instead my page has been consumed by a brand collaboration that has paid for seven #ads in the space of a month. I don't get as many messages these days from young women - and men! - who have felt uncertain about their sexuality and what it means for their future, which makes me worry that I'm diluting my original message by wittering mindlessly about whatever I want to talk about on any given day, but at the same time it's so NICE to be able to chat about ordinary family life, and I feel so grateful to have surrounded myself online with such a supportive and friendly community. I'm a bit of an odd duck 'in real life', and work very long hours, and I don't have many mum-friends off of the internet. I hope that I do enough, that I represent our beautiful family in a way that when my children inevitably find my pages later, they feel proud of me - or at least that they don't find it cringeworthy and horrible.

I feel that I do some of this very badly - I don't have a background in PR, I didn't go to 'blogging school' and I suspect that I'm not actually all that bright, I've been learning as I go along by copying the bigger fish in the pond but clearly they're not getting everything right either. So I do appreciate your thoughts on what an 'influencer'/brand collaboration should look like, and I am amending my own advertorial practices as a result. I love that I get the opportunity to reach out to so many people, and when the pieces come together and I can treat my family or to take them away for the occasional #gifted holiday, it's a glorious thing and I feel proud that I made that happen. My oldest two are three and a half now, and I don't think that we'll keep going forever - or at least not in the same way, with their faces featured more than mine - but I set strict limits about what I will and won't talk about, and I don't think that they will resent me for sharing their babyhood with people in the way that I have. At least, I hope not.

Fruitbowl2 · 27/03/2018 14:25

Think it should be marked ad? Make a complaint to the ASA. Link below:

www.asa.org.uk/make-a-complaint.html

blackmirror1 · 27/03/2018 14:26

MP has said people with legit concerns are wrongly labeled haters and trolls and then MOD calls them haters and trolls... Boggles

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BlueSapp · 27/03/2018 14:28

I think the problem with IG is the lure of free stuff and cash and the feeling of "well if she can I can", but that is when you end up getting on peoples nerves like the constant bombardment of posts form several different people(not just instamums but other bloggers etc) who've tried the same thing at the same time(coincidence? Hmm ) and that's all you see.

Then if you aren't completely gushing about it they start saying how they've fallen out of love with IG because there engagement has declined and are taking a break, to only spend the time posting on stories anyway! it so disingenuous which is why there is such a vehement reaction from some about it.

Reallycantbebothered · 27/03/2018 14:29

Whatever happened to freedom of speech?...it seems that unless you 100%agree with everyone/everything that's posted on IG you're blocked
I started following a few accounts when I was off work prolonged sickness and needed some inspiration for my home which hasn't been decorated for 20yrs and also for ideas for holidays
Some are genuinely inspiring, some are funny some are downright desperate and grabby
I had no idea initially how many of them relied on advertising/ endorsements and take most of what they now post with a very big pinch of salt
And for what it's worth, fod is trying too hard you're not a comedian/cbbc presenter

Greenhouseonthehill · 27/03/2018 14:29

Mod missing the point spectacularly there. What a shame she can’t see past the odd name call and actually engage with her followers who want to know more than where she buys her candles. I imagine the shine has been taken off this holiday for her and I don’t say that gleefully.

kirinm · 27/03/2018 14:40

Greenhouse - have just seen the same post. Most of the comments spectacularly missing the point including MOD 🙄

AdidasGirl · 27/03/2018 14:41

@PavlovaPrincess I was coming on to say exactly the same thing.
MP puts that post up and then all the other Instamums are commenting and they are the ones who are the worst for lack of transparency.Confused

Andmary · 27/03/2018 14:46

Thank you black mirror!
Pp who suggested business or social account is a great idea. It’s being conned by not declaring ads that is a serious problem. If MP can come on, be professional and consequently light years above others that is a good thing. I like her for it. I do think the bubble is going to burst and it’s only people like MP that will survive.
I think exploiting your own children for stuff/ cash is an abomination. I wonder how these children will be as teenagers.
Surely if you use your children to make money they should have the money as wages? I mean they are the earners not the parents.
Maybe they are paying their own school fees.
If Instagram allowed discussion as opposed to only fan mail then these threads wouldn’t be necessary.
I’ve learnt so much from these threads especially about affiliate links/ soft selling. Yes #AD at the start not at the end hidden in #’s

ISaidIWasTired · 27/03/2018 14:50

I don't think there has been so much of a change. This is the internet, opinions will always be divided.

It's just started to unravel for some of these instamums is all, they are finally looking outside of their echo chambers of fan girl followers and seeing that other people, people with pretty intelligent and well thought out opinions, don't like them or agree with what they are doing.

And still they respond with 'fuck the haterz' because it's all they need to hear to stay safe in their ivory towers.

blackmirror1 · 27/03/2018 14:52

Well said casualkiddylan! 😊

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CadyHeron · 27/03/2018 14:55

And for what it's worth, fod is trying too hard

people can still see bitchy posts even if you put them behind a strike out

Seriously, not on the wind up (regular poster.) Why read them so much if you profess to hate them? Trying too hard? Don't read then.
This whole thread just seems like a massive bitch fest.
Can take your point about ads, they should always be disclosed.
How do you know some of them aren't paid for out of their own money though? I'd think it quite possible to have a holiday but pay for any activities yourself as activities are usually extra.

Publicity whether good or bad is publicity. Some people on here have gone searching for some of the instagrammers mentioned in this thread which drives the engagement in their accounts surely?
Definitely will be. I've just been to check some of them out too,and there'll probably be lurkers who have done the same.
Then there's those who keep visiting sites even though they think try hard or whatever Confused
It's all traffic. Which in turn generates more views, more engagement, and more opportunities for brands reaching out to them.

HeyRoly · 27/03/2018 14:56

MOD isn't missing the point. I think she's being quite calculating and is trying to deflect deflect deflect. Suggesting that the outpouring of negativity on Insta is stopping a mum with PND from joining and seeking support. Oh, look what the mean girls have done etc Hmm

MOD knows full well that she's under the microscope right now and is pissed off that her sneaky omission of #ad tags is being called out. Well, good. Because does she think it's enough to have said, IIRC, on Instagram Stories (which self deletes in 24hrs of course) that she's obligated to do eight posts for her St Lucia holiday and therefore no more tags are required? I don't think that's how it's supposed to work somehow...

pineapplefritter · 27/03/2018 14:57

I noticed on Mother Pukkas story today she had a big red AD sign in the corner.

I must say I have so much respect for her, she takes what everyone is saying into consideration even if it can feel like criticism, she never loses her head or starts a hate campaign against it - she actually just absorbs and makes better.

Love love love MP!

Babaloo88 · 27/03/2018 15:00

How did mod get a dm from someone who hasn’t set up their IG?