To wish that going for a first trimester abortion was seen like have a tooth out?

[QueenArseClangers]

Without all the societal guilt and judgement heaped upon women?
I really wished it was viewed as a bog standard procedure, I’m sure women would feel a lot more in control of their reproductive health if it was.

As ever Bertrand exactly says it absolutely

I appreciate the posters who are trying to explain the concept of my OP.
I’m not comparing an embryo/foetus/baby to a tooth.

Thank you for the lovely words, mydog

I feel no regret for my decision and I was fully supported by my partner. But, as PP have said, sharing it provokes such strong reactions in some and I can't see that changing drastically anytime soon.

Very few women have abortion after abortion. Much like someone would not choose to have tooth after tooth removed, you'd maybe start brushing your teeth more instead - if we are running with the initial theme of the thread. But it is necessary and should not be questioned ever, regardless. It's personal choice, it is that person's body and what they choose to do is no one's business but their own.

And I totally admit and understand that I (and many others) can display cognitive dissonance when it comes to pregnancy.

During wanted pregnancies I have counted the days. Comparing my 8mm embryo to a random legume, giving my ‘tiny bean’ a name, excitedly finding out facts about my amazing baby and what it can do at each stage.

With a (very) unwanted pregnancy I saw the embryo as something to be removed ASAP.

Just shows how our situation and mental/emotional state can influence us.

QueenArseClangers I completely understand and agree with you and I’m someone who has lost a baby (ectopic) at very early stages of pregnacy and found it utterly heartbreaking. But I respect and support any woman who has an abortion and this should be something all woman have access too x

I had an abortion after I fell pregnant when a male GP prescribed me a medication that reduced my contraception effectiveness to around 40% without telling me. I don’t want anymore children and I couldn’t provide for another without plunging my family into poverty.

I feel no shame or guilt. The ones that should feel that are the people that stand outside the BPAS and Marie stopes clinics and harass women.

The Deut and Nameless are examples of when abortions are used for the right reasons and for what they should be used for

All reasons are the right reasons and they should be used for anyone who doesn't want to continue a pregnancy. That is all you need to know.

Totally agree with you op.

deut bread

I think the essence of the sisterhood is supporting other women’s choices even if they are not choices you would make for yourself.

So empathy humanity snd good old sensible pragmatism to all who have shared here.

Abortion is something very personal to me. I hold a deep sadness in my heart/in the back of my mind about it but the raw feelings I had at first have settled now.
I had an abortion last October which really affected me to the point that I was suicidal, even though it was the right decision at the time. It took a lot of days/nights crying, grieving, not sleeping, not eating, days curled up doing nothing, to eventually get to a point where I HAD to start moving on.
I never for one minute of my life ever dreamed I would have an abortion. The decision was not made on a whim, not one bit. And it wasn't used a form of contraception.

In answer to the OP's question, I get her. Someone else upthread explained what the OP means so I won't go over it again.

For those who are suggesting there are no parameters set for abortion and it’s the woman’s decision entirely - not so. If there were not we’d be having abortions based on the sex of the child. The laws are not made by women alone. Even having the ‘decision’ to switch off life support comes after doctors have discussed the case and offered that choice to the next of kin. The next of kin can not unilaterally or randomly decide to do this regardless of the medical situation.
We work within legal, moral and ethical parameters - and must allow our medical staff to have those safeguards too.

I was pushed into having an abortion when I was 18. I have never stopped regretting it, or been able to forgive myself. I wish I'd been stronger. Whilst I certainly don't think women should be stigmatized for terminating a pregnancy, making it seem like less of a big deal makes it easier to persuade someone to end a pregnancy, even if it's not really what they want.

It could be argued that having an abortion is easier than having a tooth out.

In order to have a tooth out, it can require several consultations, and arrangements made for travel to different locations.

Abortion is now offered in one appointment by Marie Stopes and other providers. I don't know how much easier you could expect it to be op?

I have had a termination where I had mixed feelings, moments of indecision, many years and soul searching.
I’ve also had had the procedure where I felt completely different

Same. First I was devastated. Second I went into open eyed and comfortable (as much as I could be) that it was the right decision. I wasn’t reckless, I’d used contraception and map- I still was pregnant, and telling a Mum friend the other day she was shocked that I was so open about it- but why shouldn’t I be? It’s a medical procedure and the alternative would be to have more dc than I can cope with and be unhappy.

Abortion is now offered in one appointment by Marie Stopes and other providers. I don't know how much easier you could expect it to be op?

It's definitely not easy for everyone . One appt if you are early enough, and if you happen to live near a clinic?
Is it easy for women in NI, for a start?

Abortion is now offered in one appointment by Marie Stopes and other providers. I don't know how much easier you could expect it to be op

Yet in every single area I live and work in, to be offered a same day treatment and appointment there needs to be a reason, they much prefer a week apart consultation and treatment.
They have two appointments at least a day apart for a none surgical abortion.

Oh and mum2
For professional reasons I’ve spent loads of time in abortion clinics over more than 2 decades, and my experance is not the same as your.

Mine echos much the same as any stats on the matter released by the two big providers.
And no women have ever announced to me that they fancied trapping someone but it didn’t work

Men would love to find this reasonable. They already often make the assumption that a women will have an abortion in the case of an unplanned pregnancy caused by them.

No one should judge someone who does choose to have one, but imo it would be unreasonable to treat an abortion like pulling out a rotten or unwanted tooth. I do think though that everything should be done to make it possible for those who want one to be able to do so as early as possible.

imo it would be unreasonable to treat an abortion like pulling out a rotten or unwanted tooth

Why? That isn't what OP actually said, but if you want to be literal then why would it be unreasonable? It's similar, its removing something from your body that you don't want there anymore. Unless you are judging the people doing it, why is it any different?

The reason I say that YourWan is that those women who find themselves with an unplanned pregnancy, but who might rather not have an abortion, could be put under even more pressure to have an abortion by their partner, or family, on the grounds that is absolutely nothing. As an example, I saw it described by someones boyfriend, on a mn thread quite recently, as "A pill and a period, what's the big deal?". For her it would have been a big deal. But he said he would leave her if she didn't have it.

YADNBU. In fact I think abortions at any stage should be seen like this. Why do people think women seeking an abortion give a fuck about what they think anyway? People need to keep their beaks out of other people's reproductive systems

I couldn't agree more, CherryChasingDotMuncher. I mean, if you're anti-choice, belt away with that. Exercise your right to choose to never have a termination. But why try to impose your will on everyone else? Seriously, why?

As early as possible, as late as necessary. I've had an abortion (early, as it happens) and it was absolutely the right decision. I couldn't care less what some gobshite on the internet makes of that.

No ! It’s not the same

I feel no shame but I can’t lie about the emotional fall out afterwards . A tooth is not the same

“ only don’t agree with girls not using protection and then having abortions on a regular basis to correct their “mistakes.” Or falling pregnant to trap someone and it not working so they get rid and move onto the next person they will try and trap.”

So do you think that a woman who does either of these things should be forced to continue with the pregnancy?

It's already seen in that light by some people, OP. It isn't by others. I don't think you can change that really, many people feel differently about teeth and foetuses.
I do agree about it not being anyone else's business though. It's a medical procedure and for that reason alone I wouldn't discuss it with other people.

Areyoufree see your point, but thats true of many medical procedures. People do need to be given full information, and be given time to make the best decision.