To wish that going for a first trimester abortion was seen like have a tooth out?

[QueenArseClangers]

Without all the societal guilt and judgement heaped upon women?
I really wished it was viewed as a bog standard procedure, I’m sure women would feel a lot more in control of their reproductive health if it was.

No feelinggoodinspring women take the MAP if they are worried that conception might have taken place. None of them will ever know if it actually did, myself included. You seem to assume that they know that conception/implantation has already taken place.

For many women taking the MAP that won't have happened. I spent the best part of 10 years trying to conceive a second child. When I hit 45 I stopped. And we used contraception. And I used the MAP from aged 45 if we'd taken any risks. Only a couple of times, but I was grateful for it. Am now 50 with a DS aged 30. If I had daughters I'd be recommending it.

No the abortion laws are shaped by the public and women demanding their right to access free fair and safe abortions.

Venom shouldnt come from either ‘side’ as abortion is a very personal choice. No ones business but the woman concerned.

There should be no rows on abortion. If you want/need an abortion it should be available for you and if you don’t then don’t.

Should be a personal choice and a human right and absolutely nothing to do with religion or government or anyone else apart from
The choice of the pregnant woman.

If so, the same can be said about people who ram the view down peoples throat that abortion is ‘nothing’ and should be available to anybody, any number of times without question

You can't equate the two views at all. One is that anyone can do as they wish and shouldn't be judged for it, and the other is that someone else should control our bodies, tell us what to do with them, and judge us for it if we manage to do what they don't like.

Thats like saying that me telling everyone to leave you alone is the same as me telling everyone to punch you in the face. Not equal types of viewpoint, are they?

YourWanMajella you know exactly what I meant. Stop trolling and picking up on terminology. I’m not an uneducated twat and I own a dictionary - I understand the definition of contraception. However some people use abortions INSTEAD of contraception. In place of contraception. It’s THEIR form of “contraception” because it’s nothing to them to get an abortion every month and they can’t be bothered to go and get real contraception or ask the boy/man to stick a condom on it!

"However some people use abortions INSTEAD of contraception. In place of contraception. It’s THEIR form of “contraception” because it’s nothing to them to get an abortion every month"
An abortion every month? Don't be ridiculous.

Some people use abortion instead of contraception.

Well thank god these stupid and reckless women can then, if they exist on a major scale and of course they don’t.

Thank god there are no more unwanted babies hitting the dreadful care system than there are allresdy.

Thsnkgod for abortion access

Quite.

Mum

Love do you really know of anyone who has a monthly abortion????

As a nurse I don’t! Please enlighten us.,

YourWanMajella you know exactly what I meant. Stop trolling and picking up on terminology. I’m not an uneducated twat and I own a dictionary - I understand the definition of contraception

Gosh, is it trolling now to expect people to understand the words they use? How remiss of me to think that if you want to keep repeating that old trope about feckless women using abortion as contraception that we should all just let you even though it is fundamentally untrue.

If you do own a dictionary and knew that what you said was not true, perhaps its you that should be more careful about what you say?

I can't imagine an abortion every month is even physically possible to start with. You can't have sex for a few weeks after an abortion and then you have to actually ovulate again to fall pregnant again. Sorry but every month, what a load of rubbish!

Although is there really any point expecting accuracy from someone who thinks anyone goes and gets an abortion once a month?

I think a tooth being removed wasn't the best comparison. A tooth quite clearly doesn't have the potential to be a separate human life, and no one is going to feel grief about the loss. There were always going to be some YABUs.

But I do agree that it's better than the alternative, my DDs' birth mum just keeps having babies and leaves adoptive parents to pick up the pieces. If all women did the same thing, there wouldn't be enough adoptive/foster parents to do that. There are already more than 60,000 children going through the care system, how would we cope with more?

I don't like abortion, but it's better than the alternative.

I think a tooth being removed wasn't the best comparison. A tooth quite clearly doesn't have the potential to be a separate human life, and no one is going to feel grief about the loss. There were always going to be some YABUs

It wasn't a comparison. Quite a lot of posters misunderstood the OP entirely but ran with it anyway.

I had an abortion earlier this year, for no other reason than I didn't want to be pregnant and I didn't want another child.

I haven't, and probably will never, tell anyone in my 'real life' about it because of the stigma surrounding it. I am afraid of being branded irresponsible and selfish.

That being said, my whole experience was thankfully quite positive. From my initial consultation, through to the scan and surgical procedure every member of staff I encountered managed to be very sensitive yet treated it like a routine procedure. I didn't feel judged nor did I feel like I was doing something wrong and should be ashamed.

I realise not everyone has this experience and, like I say, I won't ever make it common knowledge. But I perhaps wish I could because I could maybe share that experience with someone and reassure them.

I've had an abortion, three actually, over the course of 45 years despite being a well educated woman using contraception correctly in every instance.

I've also been the person responsible for making the decision to turn off my husband's life support machine.

No one would ever judge me for the latter. In fact, I am publicly applauded for my "bravery" and "strength". It is acknowledged that I made a "difficult decision" that was "for the best" in the circumstances.

Conversely, I have never told anyone about my terminations (other than partners), for fear of judgement, rejection, confrontation.

And yet, truthfully, each of those decisions came from a place of love, to alleviate or prevent suffering, to do the "right" thing in the worst of situations. None was taken lightly or without trepidation. Yet for one I am celebrated and encouraged to be proud and for the other I am made to feel dirty, ashamed, diminished. The double standard invented by men to control women's bodies and minds is beyond clear to me.

I abhor the fact that women are conditioned to feel guilty and traumatised by the decisions they make.

I agree with you 100% OP.

TheDeut

Can I say to you the fact you had an abortion because you knew you weren’t ready to be a parent again is the exact opposite of being irresponsibly and selfish.

Bringing unwanted babies into the world, lecturing and hectoring pregnant women to continue with unwanted pregnancies is irresponsible and the essence of selfishness.

You may be suprised how much support snd live you get in RL and you have it Here

Nameless not amongst the vast majority of mumsnetters you arnt and my deepest sympathy for the loss of your husband.

Oh my god people - obviously girls can’t get an abortion every month. I give up trying to explain every word or phrase. Clearly there are some people on this thread that literally take things word for word and don’t know what exaggeration for effect is. I give up. 👋🏼

@NamelessFaceless I totally support you and agree 100%

The Deut and Nameless are examples of when abortions are used for the right reasons and for what they should be used for. You, Nameless, having 3 abortions makes no difference to me. You took precautions that didn’t work for you and each of those pregnancies didn’t suit you, so rather than bring another baby into this world that wasn’t truly wanted, you did something unselfish - as did you, The Deut.
I only don’t agree with girls not using protection and then having abortions on a regular basis to correct their “mistakes.” Or falling pregnant to trap someone and it not working so they get rid and move onto the next person they will try and trap.

Mum

There are no right or wrong reasons for an abortion. It’s a personal decision and none of your business or mine. Get your nose out of other women’s lives and just meet your own choices

Does anyone use the abortion pill as contraceptive? NO
Does anyone have more than one abortion? YES

But it doesn't matter what the answer to those questions are because its no ones business except the woman involved. This thread is meant to be about the stigma involved with abortion nowadays, irrelevant of how many times.

Its ONLY forced birthers that try to push guilt onto women, to forward their agenda. No pro choice advocate ever tries to shame a woman into having an abortion.

BertrandRussell

I think the OP means (sorry OP-please chastise me if I'm wrong) that a first trimester should be regarded by all concerned as a medical procedure with no moral judgements attached. That the woman concerned is entitled to feel anything she wants to feel in a spectrum from relief to profound regret, but that nobody else has any right to impose or express any emotional response at all. Any more than they would for a tooth extraction. The woman concerned can have emotional involvement. Nobody else.

Yes, that’s exactly what I mean.

Nameless

X post walking yes agree